


The Crown weighs heavy

by Sinuhmyn_Apple



Category: The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Reader Insert
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-06
Updated: 2017-03-12
Packaged: 2018-08-29 09:59:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 57,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8484997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sinuhmyn_Apple/pseuds/Sinuhmyn_Apple
Summary: When the apocalypse happened, you eventually found yourself alone. Your brother was gone, your group was gone. All you had left was yourself, and you accepted that. But, what happens one day when a man named Negan steps into your life? Will your story end with tragedy, or another chance at truly living?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guyyyys! This is my new story. I haven't written FanFiction in almost 10 years...holy shit, right? So, I apologize if it isn't perfect. Lol I do not claim to be a professional writer or even a frequent one. But, this idea was floating and I had to write it! It's also posted in my Tumblr and FanFiction.net (however on that site the character has a name and appearance due to them not allowing reader inserts) 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Please review if possible :)

“Hiiiiiiii, Mom! Don’t worry, Logan and I are safe and sound. Our plane just landed. Hawaii is so beautiful already!”

The camera panned to the airport window, showing the expanse of the island. Ocean water shining brightly against the morning light. You smiled to yourself. Fond memories flooding back to you as you watched that video. God, it had been so long since that day. Unbeknownst to you at the time it would be the last vacation you ever took. Shortly after arriving back home in California, the fall of mankind would take place. And life as you knew it would change forever. You would find yourself traveling with your younger brother throughout the states, until you managed to take up with some group you met. It wasn’t ideal, but it became your family for a short while. Until, like all things in this new world, it was gone. And so was Logan.

“And before you ask, mom, no we haven’t eaten yet. In fact, Y/N was just about to go buy us some breakfast.”

You were brought back to reality when you heard the sound of your brother’s voice. You laughed as the camera went fuzzy. The all too familiar sibling struggle for the camera. You could faintly hear your voices, obviously arguing about whose turn it was to buy food. When the camera finally settled again, you saw your brother’s face. His blue eyes glinting with victory, and before the next words left his mouth the screen went black. You scoffed, and threw your phone to the side. Annoyance filling you as the battery charge died. You were lucky enough to get it to charge to begin with, having found all the supplies you needed to make a decent electrical source at the hospital you were currently sheltered in. Thank god for seventh grade science experiments. Unfortunately, those sources never last long but you were grateful for them none the less. It let you back into your old life for a change. Much happier times before everything went to shit. But, what made it more precious was the chance to hear your little brother’s voice again, and see his face again. If it weren’t for those few times you could see that video, you feared you’d forget him all together. His face would turn into a distant memory and that was something you couldn’t have.

A sigh escaped your lips, and you summoned the energy to lift your body. Leaning lazily against the wall of the hospital room as you grabbed for your bag and phone. It was much heavier than before, but you couldn’t complain. You managed to get a good amount of meds and bandages this time around. Thankful the place wasn’t cleaned out like the rest of them.

“Count your blessings, Y/N.” You spoke aloud, throwing the bag over your shoulder as you walked out the room and into the hallway. The journey out of the hospital was mostly uneventful. Save for a few walkers that you had to put out of their misery. By the time you made it out of the building the sun was starting to set and you knew by the time you got to your home it would be nightfall. A dangerous prospect. Traveling in the dark now days was basically a death wish. But really, was anything truly safe now days?

You opted to chance the journey home, and you hummed mindlessly to yourself as you balanced your feet on the train tracks. Straight shot from here, and then a quick jog through the forest and there you would be. Home. It wasn’t anything perfect by any means. Just a basic farm house out in the middle of nowhere. You chanced upon it one day on a run into the city, finding a couple of walkers behind its doors but nothing too difficult to deal with. You would guess you’ve been there a couple of months now, and you made it your own. Decorating it with whatever you found out on your runs, filling its cabinets and shelves with food and supplies necessary for survival. It was something to look forward to everyday. Knowing there was always something to come back to.

You emerged from the forest and smiled in relief at the sight of the house. Gripping your bag tighter in your hands as you built up a jog, eager to be inside its safer walls. Once inside you flung your bag to the floor and opened it up as you began to put away today’s haul. Mentally taking stock of everything you had. You got to the cloth and bin you took from the hospital, and walked over to your fireplace as you began to heat some water up. It wasn’t exactly a bubble bath, but something was better than nothing. After you bathed yourself you changed into different clothes, opting for a gray loose tank, thin cardigan and some black jeans and boots before heading to bed. It sounded completely pointless to sleep in shoes, but it was peace of mind. Anything can happen while you slept, and if you ever needed to run you were ready. You walked up the steps to the second story, pushing your bedroom door open and practically throwing yourself onto your bed. It wasn’t perfect, but compared to the outside it was heaven. You closed your eyes and brushed your H/C hair out of your face, feeling that all too familiar sense of heaviness as your mind drifted off to sleep.  
________________________________________

 

You awoke to the sound of a large bang, your heart instantly picking up its pace. You launched yourself out of the bed, ducking next to it.

“Shit, shit shit….” You mumbled. Panic was beginning to set in, but you knew you had to suck it up. You hunched there as quietly as you could for what seemed like hours. Listening for any signs of danger around you. You picked up voices, disappointment flooding through your body knowing fully well whoever they were, they weren’t here to play nice. You could make out at least two different voices, both men. For the moment they were too far off to be audible. That gave you some hope, and you took that chance. You slowly crawled over to your bedroom door, peeking outside for any movement. Whoever was downstairs had some form of light as you could faintly make out some silhouettes running along the stairwell. You made your way outside, hiding on the opposite side of the stairs so you could have a clear view of anyone who decided to come up.

“Hey, Dan!! Looks like we got us a nice haul tonight! Get in this fucking kitchen and look at all this shit!”

You heard one of the voices call out. That was your shit, and you could feel anger begin to rise inside you. You worked hard to get all that stuff, and you’d be damned if you lost it to some scavenging dicks. You waited until one of them began ascending the stairs, your combat knife slowly being pulled from your boot. You knew what you had to do, and this wouldn’t be the first time you had to kill. But, regardless it was always a mental preparation for you. This is your world now. You watched as a brunette man turned the stair case, his gun up in defense mode. He was ready to kill, but unfortunately for him you saw him first. You rushed at him, catching him off guard and before he could scream of even shoot, your blade was in his head. His body slumped to the floor with a rather loud thump, and you mentally cursed yourself.

“Dan! You alright, man?”

Fuck. You tore your knife from his body, not bothering to wipe it clean as you ran back into your room, hiding behind the door as you heard footsteps rush upstairs when no answer was received from his friend. He found him…

“Fucking shit!” You heard the other man yell, and then it just got worse from there. You heard the sound of a radio going off, and his voice rang through the hall.

“We ain’t alone in here! Ther-“Before he could finish his sentence you pulled the door open and went for him, lucky enough to slash a decent gash into his throat. His blood splashed onto your face and clothes, and you stood there in a panic. There were others nearby then. And it was just you, and that was enough to make you regret even attacking these men. You were good in combat, years of practice will do that to you, but you were still just one girl. Unless they intended to come after you one by one, you were fucked. You heard more footsteps enter your house, and a bunch of radio chatter. This was it, you were trapped. 

Your instincts kicked in, and you rushed into your bedroom as footsteps pressed upstairs. At this point the window was your saving grace, and you cursed yourself for having bolted them all shut at the beginning. You turned to look back at the door, hearing those footsteps getting closer. It was now or never. You jumped forward, breaking the glass as your body launched onto the slanting roof outside. Sandpapery shingles scraping into the soft skin of your abdomen as you tried to gain your footing. Luck wasn’t on your side though.  
A strong hand grabbed your ankle, yanking you back into the window, broken glass pressing into your side. You yelped in pain as it cut through you like nothing, blood pooling into your shirt. The same hands gripped the back of your cardigan tightly, pulling you back into the room and onto the floor. The force was so hard you felt disoriented for a second, ears ringing loudly as two men surrounded you. A hard kick was put into your side making you scream out in pain.

“This little bitch killed Dan, and Thomas?!” One of them yelled out, his hand tangling in your H/C tresses as he jerked you up onto the bed. Your breathing was shallow, pain coursing through your small frame from the cuts and kicks. You wiggled your way up on the bed, trying to regain any composure you had, but two hands grabbed your wrists and pulled them down keeping you situated. You realized this was a second man, and your E/C eyes gazed up in fear. You heard both men laugh, and the one who grabbed you earlier spoke in an amused voice.

“Loooook at this one…I didn’t think they made women like this anymore.” You watched as he licked his lips, eyes slowly feasting over your body. Disgust pooled in your stomach, as you knew that look all too well. Hell, even before shit hit the fan, men would leer at you like that. You tried to struggle with them, thrashing your body and kicking as much as you could. The fat one in front of you only chuckled at your attempts, and he placed himself between your legs, restricting your movement.

“You know, Craig, I think you and I deserve a little treat, huh? I mean, after all she put us through.” He blew a kiss at you, finding amusement in the way you turned your face in disgust. Whatever happened you weren’t just going to go down easy. You did your best to fight them off, but the one called ‘Craig’ held you down harder by the wrists, grinning down at you as the fat one ripped your shirt open eyeing your breasts with such hunger it revolted you. His hand reached for your bra next, and you screamed at him to stop. That only elicited some chuckles from them, clearly they had no intention of stopping. Your chest was heaving up and down in distress, eyes watering over as you felt powerless. You tried your hardest to move your legs, or arms but all for nothing.  
Then a click from their radio…

“Craig, Parker, did you find the occupant?”  
Parker growled in annoyance, taking his radio up from his holster and replying, “Yea, taking care of it right now.”

“Well, hurry the fuck up and come back down….Boss just got here.”

At that both men set into a rushed panic, letting go of your legs and wrists in favor of dragging you by the collar of your shirt. You kicked at the floor, struggling to get free but they held on tighter. They spewed threats your way, trying to get you to lessen your fight. Once outside, you found yourself surrounded by over a dozen men. The sound of vehicles and talking filled the air, and once off the porch your body was flung to the ground right in front of a large light that seemed to be coming from the RV parked in front. You dragged yourself across the dirt, nails digging into the soft soil as you tried your hardest to lift your aching body. Parker grabbed your sweater, lifting you into a kneeling position facing the RV. He leaned down and whispered in your ear, a move which made you turn your head as far as possible. He was a repulsive man.

“Ooooh, you’re gonna get it now, girl. Negan don’t like when you ruin things for him. Makes him mad, see?”

You ducked your head, taking in his words as you tried to catch your breath. It was getting harder to move, harder to fight back. The pain from your gash was pulsing through you, and the bruising from the kicks wasn’t helping either. The pain was making you dizzy, and your vision was beginning to blur. The only thing keeping you conscious was the constant shaking of your body, fear washing over it as the RV door swung open.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2!!! Enjoy, guys. :) I have tons of chapter notes set, so I'm working on the next right away. I kind of have an idea of how it's gonna end.

Your head was spinning, and you were doing your best to stay awake. The pain was overwhelming you, and the blood loss wasn’t helping either. All you wanted was to crawl back in your bed, and sleep forever. But, considering the latest turn of events that wasn’t likely to happen. You jolted up a bit when you heard the door of the RV slam hard against its side, signaling that whoever was inside was now on his way towards you. Parker was still holding you tightly, making sure you weren’t able to move out of your kneeling position. If you weren’t so out of it, you would’ve fought to be out of this degrading position. The sound of boots crossing over the dirt made you look up, until you could barely register the shape of a rather tall man standing in front of you. Your vision was slowly glazing over, but you attempted to tilt your head back when you saw a bat moving towards your face. You winced when you felt a slight pain in your chin, realizing that it was the bat, only this time you clearly saw the barbed wire wrapped around it.  
  
He lifts your chin up with his bat, smiling down at you as he speaks. “Hi. I’m Negan.” His voice was eerily calm, and your E/C eyes glanced up at him, breathing coming out in shallow spurts. You didn’t even really register his name, too busy trying to keep yourself from giving in to your feeling of faint. You couldn’t speak, breathing hurt enough as it is, but even then the fear that was in you was enough to keep your mouth shut. When you didn’t respond to his introduction, he only scoffed before looking you over. Eyes trailing down your face before he rubbed his beard in thought. “Well, my my my!” He put emphasis on the last word, laughing to himself as he removed his bat from your chin only to pace around in front of you. “Looks like we hit the jackpot fellas!” He gestured to you with a gloved hand, looking around at his men as he laughed. “When’s the last time you saw a woman this god-DAMN beautiful?” You could hear laughing coming from all around you, but you didn’t dare look up. At this point you were hoping for a quick death delivered by his hands. Anything to stop the pain of your wound, and the constant ridicule coming from the people around. Your thoughts were broken when you saw steel toed boots come up in front of you, the man crouched down to your level. The grin he had earlier was still plastered on his face, pearly white teeth showing as he stared at you.  
  
“What’s your name, sweetheart? I’m absolutely dying to know.”  
  
When you didn’t immediately answer him, he grabbed your face roughly making you look directly at him. “Come on now, gorgeous. You killed two of my men, the least you could do is tell me your name?”  
  
You swallowed, and tried to form a coherent sentence, but only gibberish was coming out. He made a clicking noise with his mouth, clearly becoming a bit frustrated by your lack of cooperation with him. His hand moved from your chin to your shoulder, gripping it tightly and willing your body to move a bit more up. “Now I’m being nice here, sweetheart. So-“ He cut his sentence short as his eyes trailed down your body, finally taking notice of the blood soaking your tank top.

“Shit!” He laughed, “Now that don’t look good, must be hurting like a mother fucking bitch.” If you were hoping for any sympathy from him, he wasn’t giving it. That grin never left his face. That was until his eyes landed on your chest, taking note of your ripped shirt. You saw his jaw tighten, and that twinkle of amusement in his eyes quickly faded away. He lifted himself up, standing tall once again in his commanding stance. His hand flew up to his face, stroking his beard as he let out a small laugh and gesturing at all his men.

“What the fuck are we doing here? What are we trying to achieve?!”

Silence.

“For fuck’s sake, don’t just goddamn stand there! Someone answer me!”

A man to his right spoke, “I’m not sure what you mean, sir?”

  
Negan shook his head and twirled his bat around, clearly not satisfied with anyone at the moment. “Never mind, Simon. Don’t answer that. There’s no fucking way any of you pricks understand the bigger picture here. We’re trying to build a fucking community! We all got to work together to accomplish that. But!” He pointed up, trying to convey the importance of what he was about to say. He shook his hand as he let his gaze fall upon Parker, and Craig.

“But, we cannot begin to accomplish this if we have sunk to such…in-fucking-human levels!” 

He suddenly moved forward, hand grasping Parker’s shirt in an unforgiving grip. “Repeat after me. We. Don’t. Rape.” His espresso eyes were cold, anger raging behind them as he stared directly at the man who so gleefully assaulted you. Parker was panicking in Negan’s grasp, fumbling for words as he tried to express his innocence. “I didn’t rape her, sir! We just fooled around with her for a bit! All in good fun!” Craig was looking at the scene playing out before him, nodding his head reluctantly as Parker spoke. Negan threw him to the ground, that devilish smile appearing on his lips once more. “All in good fun? Did you hear that, sweetheart?”  
  
You looked up at him, sweat dripping down your forehead making your h/c hair stick to your skin. He twirled his bat in front of you, stopping it just directly next to your face. “This is Lucille, sweetheart. And, she is awesome.” You gave him an odd look, eyes darting from Lucille to him over and over again. A deep chuckle left him as he winked at you. “Don’t worry, babygirl. She isn’t thirsty for you.” At that, you heard Parker start backing off, his thick boots kicking into the ground as he tried getting away. Apologies, and pleas rolling off his tongue as Negan began to move towards him. He began repeating Negan’s words earlier, trying anything to get him to stop advancing on him.  
  
“We don’t rape! We don’t rape!”  
  
Negan barked with laughter, lifting Lucille over his head. “Come on now, you stupid fuck. Have some dignity.” And with that Lucille came crashing down onto your assailants head, making you gasp and cringe as his blood splattered onto your face. You kneeled there in shock, mouth agape as fear set into your body. Any doubts that you had of that actually happening were silenced as Craig fell to the ground in his own fear, trying in vain to move away from Negan and his Lucille. Time seemed to slow down around you, and you were trembling as the only sounds that were making it through to you were those of Lucille coming down on Parker repeatedly. Your heart quickened, and you felt on the verge of hyperventilating as the darkness began to overcome you in your state of shock and pain. The last thing you remember was the feeling of your body hitting the ground, and Negan’s voice carrying across the wind.  
  
“Simon, doesn’t Craig look a little cold? How about we fucking warm things up a bit?”  
  
  
_____________________________  


Y/N..Y/N….  
  
Your eyes drifted open, the fog of consciousness rushing over you as you darted your eyes around your current settings. You didn’t move, trying to focus on the voice calling to you.  
  
Y/N…  
  
“Logan…?” You tried lifting yourself with your hand, only managing to get one shoulder up before falling back onto the soft surface of something. You groaned, trying to focus on the sound of your brother’s voice calling to you. You leaned over trying to grab at anything you could get your hands on but only succeeded in falling, slamming rather hard into the floor. If anything could wake you up from your dream, that was it. You groaned in discomfort, sitting up and realizing slowly that you were in a bedroom. You scanned the room in confusion. This can’t be real, you thought. It was a rather large room, and it seemed completely untouched by the world outside. A large painting hung over the fireplace, and the windows were decorated with fine curtains. Everything in this room was immaculate, and you found yourself shifting out of the sheets that fell with you on the floor needing to explore this a bit more because you weren’t quite sure you believed it was real. As you hoisted yourself up, you winced and held your side. You looked down and found in place of your large gash, a bandage. Odd. You decided to ignore that for now in place of finding your clothes. You were currently only in lounge shorts and a rather thin tank top. Comfy for sure, but not ideal for the harsh world you lived in. You held onto the side of the bed as you got up, walking around the room in awe. You let your fingers glide delicately across the mahogany furnishings throughout the room. It all felt so odd, this wasn’t the way things were supposed to be now. Even in your home the wood was rotting. You startled when you heard footsteps approaching the doors, panic setting in you managed to find a scalpel in a bin next to the bed. You reached for it and hid on the side of the door, waiting for whoever was coming. The door slid open, and as soon as you saw someone you tried to rush them. But they were much quicker than you, and overpowered you with no issue. They grabbed your wrist and twisted you to their front, and the force made you fall to the ground. You let out a yelp when you hit, pain radiating towards your now stitched wound. You held onto that side, and scrambled to get up. 

  
“Well, well, well, seems you are getting better, sweetheart.” 

You heard a deep laugh coming from behind you and the sound of boots thumping against the floor as they advanced on you. When you glanced up you gasped and felt all blood drain from your face. He must’ve noticed because his lips stretched into a very knowing smirk. 

  
“Now now…none of that here, darling. There’s nothing to be scared of. I’m not gonna hurt you, I’m not a fucking monster.” He said that last part with that same smirk on his face which didn’t exactly ease your worries.

“I don’t make a habit of preying on the weak, especially beautiful women.” You scoffed at that. And he leaned down, extending his hand out to you. It was at this moment you really had time to take in his appearance, considering last night you were basically unconscious. He was a tall man, clad in a leather jacket and a red scarf. For this day and age he actually carried himself rather well. His salt and peppered beard was well kept, clothes crisp and cleaned. Being honest with yourself, he was rather handsome looking. But, it was a fleeting thought for you, he was after all a murderer. You gripped the scalpel in your hand tighter, not forgetting this is the same man who bashed one of his own into the ground with a bat named ‘Lucille’. Granted, that man was a lowlife son of a bitch who deserved it. But, still. This man was clearly capable of killing in the most brutal of ways. You launched forward and clumsily swung the scalpel around, just trying to aim for him. And he only laughed as he begin backing away and dodging your feeble attempts at an attack. Your next step was weak, and you found your body giving out as you stumbled forward, but he caught you in his arms and held you tight before you fell to the ground again. Your back was pressed against his leather clad chest, his strong arms holding you a little too tight for comfort. His gloved hand pulled the weapon from you tossing it aside and his breath ghosted over your ear.

“Now darling, if you want things to end with you in one piece I suggest you cut this shit, and listen.” You stiffened, clearly uncomfortable with the proximity, you could practically feel the hairs of his beard tickling your skin. 

But when he noticed no sign of struggle from you he pushed you towards the bed, your body falling onto it. He paced the room, hands casually in his pockets, while he smiled to himself. He turned to you and spoke so suddenly and confidently. His smile widened and he placed his hand on his chest. 

“I’m going to assume you were too fucked up last night to remember, so I’ll forgive you this once, doll. But, let me introduce myself again. I’m Negan.” 

You gave him a skeptical look, and he walked forwards and leaned down a bit to be at your level. 

“See, doll. This is where you tell me your name. I’m assuming your parents taught you better than this.” You stayed quiet, not wanting to give any information that you didn’t deem necessary. 

He clicked his tongue at you in a mock way of disappointment. “I just saved your precious ass, brought you to our damn good doctor, had you stitched up and even gave you a nice bath to clean you up.” He laughed when he saw the disturbed look on your face at that last part. 

“Don’t worry, doll. I’m a perfect gentleman, the doctor’s assistants helped with that.” You sighed in relief at that. You didn’t want to imagine being unconscious while some stranger put his hands all over you, and by the way he looked at you, you knew he’d probably enjoy that. And it seemed he picked up on your thoughts because he grinned at you in such a charmingly annoying manner. 

  
“But, if you ever need a helping hand with that in the future. I’m your man. I’ll even be gentle.” You felt your face flush at his words, and he only seemed to be spurred on by that. A deep look of satisfaction coming over his dark eyes. He kneeled in front of you, placing his hands on either side of your body. “Now, don’t you think I deserve a little cooperation here, darling? I kept my hands to myself and even managed to save your life. So, cut the fucking silent treatment and tell me who the fuck you are.”

You stared at him, and even though that smile was still on his face you felt your spine shiver in slight fear. His tone was a total different story, and you wondered how he managed to still smile amongst threatening someone. No matter how vague those threats were. You nodded softly.

“Y/n”

He tilted his head back in consideration. Repeating your name a few times, letting it settle on his tongue. He stood up, and looked down at you. “That actually sounds right.” 

Then he pointed at himself again, “Now who am I again, darling?” You gave him an odd look, but answered anyway. Sensing that this man probably had very little patience. “Negan.” You said. 

He smirked. “That’s right, darlin’ and boy do I love the way it rolls off that pretty fucking mouth of yours.” You let out a quiet sigh of annoyance, not really wanting him to hear it for fear he’d harm you. 

“Now don’t forget that, sweetheart.” And his face turned serious. “Because, that’s the name of the man you goddamn belong to now. All your shit in that house you were holed up in, that belongs to me. The knife you killed my men with? That belongs to fucking me. Which by the way was so not cool. Decent fighters are hard to come by now days, so I’d very much appreciate it if you kept your pretty little self from killing any of them again.”

He paused and looked down at you, waiting for a response. You only stared at him in disbelief. Who the hell did he think he was to waltz in here and decide you were his property. Like some random piece of garbage you find at garage sale. 

You glared up at him, and in a defiant tone said “I don’t belong to anyone.” Which in hindsight was a mistake. He suddenly gripped your chin rather hard, making you wince as he pulled your face closer to his own. You could feel his hot breath brush against your cheek. You grabbed at his hand trying to pry it off you but he held you still. 

“Listen, doll face. And listen very fucking well because I hate repeating myself. I own you. And for your own good, you better fucking start accepting that right now. Because I’d hate to leave a mark on that pretty face of yours.” 

Your breathing quickened in fear. It could all be empty threats from him. After all, why save your life just to take it. Not to mention he said he doesn’t make a habit of hurting beautiful women, then again that could be simple flirting on his behalf. But, you weren’t going to test him. You meekly nodded. Hands trembling a bit as he looked you over. He gave you another one of his charming smiles, running his tongue across his bottom lip.

“Now that’s my good girl. So, tell me. Who owns you?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat, and reluctantly spoke. Ignoring the raging anger building up inside you. 

“You.”

“Me, what?”

“You…” You opened your mouth, the words not wanting to come out. You exhaled and shakily said, “You own me.”

“That’s right, sweetheart. That’s right.” He smiled triumphantly down at you. Bringing his leather gloved hand to stroke your cheek. You stiffened at his touch, feeling very much like a play thing to a cat. He walked away from you and to the large windows across the room. You heard him bang on them, signaling to someone outside before coming back over to you.

“Docs gonna look after you for a bit. Until you can manage to get yourself up again, without falling the fuck over.”

You knew you probably shouldn’t have asked, but everything was coming at you so fast right now. And you weren’t completely comfortable with the direction. 

“Why are you doing this?”

Negan turned to look at you, having stopped on his way towards the door. “We make it a habit of knowing every group, every person that walks around these parts. I don’t know how long you were at that piece of shit house, but you managed to evade my men long enough to hide some pretty serious stock there. Now, I could simply take it all as payment for having killed two of my men, and let you be on your merry fucking way, or I could take it all anyway and keep you as well and use you as I see fit. The way I fucking see it, you’re more useful right next to me.”

You only looked down, thinking over his words as he reached for the door handle. While his offer, or more like demand, didn’t seem too terrible you didn’t much care for him. He was an arrogant prick, who acted like the world revolved around him. And being honest, he frightened you just a bit. He was charming for certain, but he meant business. And you were sure getting on his bad side wasn’t something to be taken lightly. Especially after what you witnessed last night. And yet, if it wasn’t for him you wouldn’t be here right now. You could’ve easily died from an infected wound, which in this day wasn’t hard to do. So you looked back at him and nodded. Having come to that agreement that you would help him gather whatever it is he seemed to need. Before he could leave you spoke, “thank you…” he hummed in response, looking over at you, sensing you had more to say. 

“Thank you, for not just, ya know…leaving me there to die.” 

He smirked, “You’re welcome, sweetheart. Don’t make me regret it.” He winked at you, and exited the room leaving you to your thoughts. You wanted to pretend all of this was ok, that despite his attitude and vague threats you’d be fine. But, you couldn’t help but listen to that nagging voice in the back of your head telling you otherwise, and to be careful.

Just then the door opened and you swung your head towards it, hearing a man call your name. 

“Hi, y/n. I’m Dr. Carson. Or you can just call me Harlan.” 

He smiled at you, and you couldn’t help but smile back. It was quite possibly the first genuine smile you’ve been given since the beginning of all this. 

“Thank you…Harlan. I’m assuming all this was you?” You gestured towards your sutures. Giving him a grateful smile. He nodded and walked over to you, grabbing a pair of gloves and removing some of the bandaging. “It looks like it’s healing up well, not quite yet to be removed but you’re a strong one.” He replaced the bandages and cleaned around the area a bit. Before removing his gloves and speaking. 

  
“I know you’re probably eager to get out of here, must be quite a shock for you. Running into the saviors then finding yourself here.” He gave you an apologetic look, sighing before taking a seat in a chair nearby. 

“And where exactly am I?…and who are the saviors.”

He brushed a hand through his hair and cleared his throat.

“Well, this would be Hilltop. It’s our colony, a couple of us built it a while back. It’s not much, but now days it counts for something. As far as the saviors go, well….all I can tell you is that they mean business. They’re Negan’s group. Who you pretty much just met. When all this first started there was a small group of men whose duty it was to kill the roamers. They protected us. Eventually, that group turned into the much larger group and called themselves the saviors. And they answer only to Negan.”

You lifted your eyebrows and titled your head a bit in affirmation. How could you forget that man? So he was their leader then? Fitting. He let off an aura of power, commanded attention just at the very mention of his name. 

“So, you work for them?” He didn’t need to spell it out for you, judging by the look on his face after even mentioning the Saviors you knew the agreement they must have had wasn’t a fair one. Or a safe one. Not shocking.

The doctor nodded his head, leaning forward in the chair and clasping his hands together. “We do what we can here. Do as you’re told, you survive. I’m not saying it’s fair or right, but it’s just how it works now. Just…just be careful.” He got up, and poured a glass of water for you from a nearby pitcher. He brought it over to you with some pills.

“I’d hate to see you die after having just patched you up.” You let out a small laugh, grabbing the water and swallowing the pill. Assuming it was an antibiotic to stave off infection. 

“Thanks.”

He nodded gesturing to the bathroom. 

“Feel free to use the facilities at any time, I’d advise you against walking out of the room for now. You need rest, I’ll have Jesus bring in some food for you later. I wish I could say you’ll be here for a while, but I have a feeling Negan will be back for you.” His lips lifted in a small smile, but you could tell it wasn’t genuine. And you knew it had to be because of Negan. He felt sorry for you, as to why, well…your imagination could conjure up a few reasons. You heard the door close and you just lied back in the bed, staring up at the ceiling. 

“Fuck me.” Was all you could manage to muster.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much, to those who commented and left kudos. I'm very happy to know you guys are liking this. :) It brings me joy to tell you, I have most of the story fleshed out, so updates shouldn't be too far apart. However, after this update there wont be another for maybe a week, as I will be out of town for a couple of days! But, please enjoy this chapter!!! Jealous Negan makes life better, and Jesus is a little cutie.

It had been a couple of hours since the doctor came to look at you, you find yourself exploring the room the rest of the time. You weren’t sure how long you’d be here, so why not make the most of it? You managed to get a hold of some old magazines that were near the desk in the room, and you flipped through them mindlessly. You didn’t care for them before the world ended, and you still didn’t find them interesting now. Most of what you read was online, god how you missed that. 

Wait…my phone!

You cursed aloud, and looked around the room in desperation. Where the hell was it?! You couldn’t even catch sight of your bag at this point. 

“Seriously…” You let out a loud groan and hung your head back. No doubt Negan and his men took all your stuff, including your bag and phone. Not to mention your bow, and knife. Being weaponless didn’t exactly sit well with you, so far no one had given you a good enough reason to feel immediately threatened but even so…being prepared in this world is what keeps you alive. You gave up on feeling disappointed with your current situation and decided to take Dr. Carson up on his offer. Make the most of this place while you can. You removed yourself from the chair you were lounged in, and walked over to the bathroom. Once you opened the door, you were a bit taken back by the room. This place definitely did skimp on expenses. How they managed to keep it all so nice was beyond you. 

You turned on the shower, testing the water real quick. A laugh of surprise leaving you when you felt the warmth of the water, it has been far too long since you’ve had an actual shower. Let alone a warm one. Most of your baths consisted of wet cloths, or lakes these days. You slowly stripped yourself of your attire, wincing a bit when your skin around the stitches stretched. A chill washed over you as you settled under the stream of water, skin rising as the heat touched your cool skin. It was heaven. You never wanted to move from this spot. You wiped at your face, retrieving the small container of soap that laid on the side of the shower, washing your whole body and hair. 

After your shower you grabbed the towel that was hanging on the door, bending over and placing it over your head as you dried at your damp strands. You didn’t bother covering yourself completely as you exited the bathroom, only wiping at your arms and stomach to remove the water. You jumped when you heard someone clear their throat and you scrambled to bring the towel up and over your naked form. You looked up to see a man standing there, a small smile playing on his lips as he tried to avert his eyes from you. 

“Sorry, I uh…I knocked a few times, figured you may be sleeping. Let myself in.”

You stood there in embarrassment, struggling to keep the towel steady in your daze. You couldn’t even imagine what you looked like right now. The towel wasn’t exactly long, and it didn’t leave much to the imagination. Your breasts were pretty much spilling out of the top. You could feel heat pooling into your cheeks, not entirely sure how to play this awkward situation off. 

He snickered in obvious amusement at you, but thankfully he held out his hand and held some clothes towards you. “Figured you’d be needing a new set. Don’t mind me, I’ll turn around.” 

You snatched them from his hands, quickly escaping into the bathroom again to change. You emerged a minute or so later, clad in high waist jean shorts, and a loose white tank that you managed to tuck in a bit. His back was to you, true to his word that he wouldn’t stare. You broke the silence.

“I…um, well thanks. For the clothes.” You said quickly, trying to diffuse your own discomfort. 

“No problem. I don’t suppose I could turn around now?” 

“Of course.”

The man turned to you, looking over his shoulder carefully before deciding it was in fact safe to fully look at you. He still had a smile on his face, blue eyes shining with amusement. 

“Sorry, again. Didn’t mean to walk in on you like that.” 

You waved him off, wanting to pretend that never happened. “You know, its ok. It was an accident. Don’t even give it a second thought.” Please, don’t. You thought to yourself. Hoping he’d drop the topic. And he did, thankfully.

“Right. Uh, well my name’s Jesus. I pretty much work here at Hilltop. You’re Y/N, right?”

He extended his hand towards you, and you politely took it. “Yea, yea it’s Y/N. Nice to meet you, Jesus.”

He must’ve guessed your thoughts because he grinned before throwing his arms up. “It’s not really Jesus. It’s Paul, actually. Everyone just kept calling me that, and guess it just stuck.” He gestured toward his face. And you realized now why they referred to him as such. He had long dirty blond hair and very bright blue eyes that needless to say, were quite beautiful. His beard was well kept, and overall he seemed to be doing well for himself. You nodded at him, giving him an understanding smile. 

“I can see why.”

He smiled back, looking over your body real quick before commenting. “You look good.”

You opened your mouth in a bit of playful surprise at his boldness. Which he quickly caught on to, because he put his hands up defensively. “I mean your wound! Not you…I mean, not that you aren’t good, too. But, I didn’t mean it like that…”

You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped your mouth. He was a delightful man, and he brought about an ease in you that you hadn’t felt for a while. Jesus looked down, and let out a small breath of a laugh. “I should just stop talking now, right?”

“No, no…it’s alright. Really. Thanks for the clothes, again. It’s nice to have something new on.”

“Yea, no prob. How long were you out there for anyway? You didn’t look too good when the Saviors brought you here. Quite honestly, I didn’t think you’d make it.” 

“Ummm…” You exhaled, sitting on the bed as you threw a hand up. “Well, let’s just say long enough.”

He bowed his head in understanding, more than likely knowing just how bad it could get out there. His eyes lit up suddenly, moving towards the large window and opening up a tray. “Oh, right! Here, I brought you some food. I imagine you must be hungry.”  
“Starving, actually.” You grinned, taking a seat at the table the food was on. He took one next to you, and poured you a glass of water. 

“So, I was talking to Gregory about you, and if you want you could help out around here once you’re up to it. I know you kind of have a prearranged thing with Negan going on, but uh you don’t exactly strike me as the type to sit still for too long.”

You covered your mouth as you chewed on your food, trying not to be rude. But, you hadn’t eaten anything decent in quite some time so you really didn’t want to put the fork down. “Who’s Gregory?”

“That’d be our leader, of Hilltop.”

You thought over his words, already knowing you did want to contribute to them even a little. You didn’t know everything about them, and you sure as hell weren’t going to let your guard down just yet, but it was the least you could do after having them look after you. “I’d love to help. Whatever you guys need.”

“Great. You won’t exactly be well enough to go on supply runs or anything, but I’ll show you around at least. Maybe you can help out with gardening.”

While gardening sounded extremely dull, you knew he was right. The stitches wouldn’t be coming out anytime soon. Not to mention you were interested in how this place managed to sustain itself. You agreed to his offer, and finished your food before you followed him outside the room. There was no end to your shock when you exited the doors. The house you were in was rather huge. Almost colonial in nature. How on earth was this place still standing, you couldn’t even imagine. You walked with him down some steps, and into the foyer. Face stuck in an expression of surprise the whole way.   
“You ok?” Jesus asked, grinning at your look of shock.   
“Yea..yea! Sorry, I just didn’t think anything like this existed anymore.”

He laughed, and stood in front of the large doors that led outside the home. “Well, your world’s about to get a whole lot bigger.”

You stood in awe as he pushed the doors open, Hilltop finally coming in to full view as you walked outside onto the porch. “How…?”

Jesus came up behind you, looking around with a look of pride on his face. “People. When the world turned on itself, some of us managed to come together and build this place.”

You nodded your head at him, taking in the number of people that were walking around the field. Each going about whatever it is their job was. You had to admit, it was nice, and part of you even considered staying here forever. However, long forever was anyway. That thought brought you back to reality, and you reminded yourself that places like these never last forever.   
“So, when should I start helping, with the gardens?”

Jesus pointed over to the small field on the right side, and you could see a couple of women and men tending the plants. “That right there is where you’ll be for a bit, that is when you can. I say give it a day or two, and then come out and help. Maybe even meet everyone. For now, I’ll show you around a bit, but you really should rest tonight.”  
You acknowledged his words, and you two walked around Hilltop for a while, Jesus explaining some things along the way. You were impressed every now and then, at their ability to do what they do. You could sort of see why everyone seemed a bit at ease. This place afforded them comforts that most thought gone. Eventually, Jesus led you back to your room wishing you a goodnight before heading off down the hall. You shut the doors, and laid back on the bed covering yourself in the warm blankets. Slowly, but surely you nodded off into sleep. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Days had gone by since you arrived at Hilltop, and you found yourself working in the gardens most days. It wasn’t the most glamourous work, but you found solace in being outside. The people you worked with were kind enough, and you were thankful to have a full belly every night. In fact just this morning, you managed to have your stitches taken out, and Harlan gave you a clean bill of health. In the back of your mind you still questioned the safety of everything, but you enjoyed what you could. Negan hadn’t made good on his promise just yet, but every morning you woke up you would look out the window to search for him in the crowd. Hoping you wouldn’t see Lucille moving through the people. 

You were in your room at the moment, afternoon was moving in to the evening by now. You heard a knock at your door, and saw Jesus come in with a tray of food. He smiled in greeting, and you couldn’t help but smile back. The past few days you two had pretty much spent all of them together. And he always made sure to take a lunch with you. Your conversations were usually about hilltop, or his supply runs, but sometimes he’d inquire about you. What you did, where you’re originally from, etc. You weren’t usually such an open person, but you eased up around him.

“So come on, tell me this time. Where are you from?”

You laughed a bit as you let the fork slip from your lips, finally giving in to his curiosity. “California.”

“Wow, you came far then. Did you travel by yourself?”

“Not really, I was with a group for a while when I came down to Georgia. We moved here and there, but eventually we got split up.” You left out your brother, not really wanting to talk about him. It was like a detail you wanted to keep to yourself, your way of keeping him safe.

Jesus looked impressed when you brought your eyes up to meet his. He chewed on his sandwich, talking between bites. “You must be pretty tough then, to have survived mostly on your own this long.”  
You shook your head and laughed. “I’d like to think so. But, I mean…maybe it’s just luck.” You were mildly disappointed at that thought, because you really could’ve just been lucky enough to make it out of all the shit you had been through. You jerked a bit when you suddenly felt a hand fold over your own, and you looked down at it curiously. 

“I highly doubt it is luck that’s carried you this far. Y/N.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but the way he was looking at you made you a bit nervous. After the days you spent with Jesus, you had come to realize he took a liking to you, you played his flirtations off most of the time but it was an entertaining thought none the less. He was undeniably attractive, and you were sure those baby blues charmed a number of women into his arms post apocalypse. Hell, maybe they still did. You stiffened when you saw him slowly leaning towards you, and you weren’t really sure what to do at this point. Thankfully, or unfortunately, you didn’t need to choose. 

“The fuck are you doing, sweetheart? I leave you alone for a few days and you’re already fucking around? Not sure if I’m impressed, or fucking hurt.” 

You jumped back in your seat, Jesus doing the same as he looked over at Negan casually leaning against your door frame. Neither of you had heard him come in, and you felt your cheeks redden. Of all the times for him to come collect you, and he walks in now? Of course he would. You looked over at him, anxiety building up in the pit of your stomach as he walked across the room, Lucille resting over his shoulder. He was giving Jesus a rather dark look, and for a moment you worried for the man. Negan stopped a few feet from the table you were sitting at, and he nodded his head towards the door. 

“Get the fuck out of here.” 

He directed his gaze at Jesus, eyes growing darker by the minute. Jesus looked over to you, giving you a worried look before getting up and walking towards the door. Negan’s body didn’t move, but you saw as his eyes followed Jesus until he was outside the room, and the door was closed. His dark orbs were then on you, expression not changing as he took the seat Jesus was once in.

“Don’t make me kill him, princess. He brings Hilltop supplies, which brings me supplies. Get it?”

You opened your mouth, probably looking like a fish out of water, as you searched for your words. Negan sighed as he leaned back in his chair, stealing your fork and picking some potato off your plate. You watched as he took a bite, making a face of disgust as he put the fork back down. 

“These poor fucks eat this shit?”

At that you regained your footing, and crossed your arms over your chest, not missing the way his eyes traveled to your breasts as your movement pushed them slightly together. You chose to ignore his wandering gaze in favor of raising your voice.

“I helped make that.”

He only scoffed, “Then I guess we know you won’t be on cooking duty at the sanctuary.” 

Before you could respond with anything witty, he got up and walked over to your bed throwing his weight on it as he laid down. You gave him a questioning look, wondering what exactly it is he wanted. If he came to take you, he was sure beating around the bush. 

“So how long have you two been fucking?”

You nearly chocked on the water you were drinking when he said that. He titled his head up to look at you, and you could clearly see he was dead serious. You shot him a look of disgust as you answered.

“We are not fucking.” Was he always this damn vulgar? If you weren’t afraid of the consequences you would’ve slapped that stupid smirk off his face. The audacity of that man, it was beyond ridiculous. You weren’t interested in anyone that way, at least not anymore. It was a ‘been there done that’ situation, the last group you were with, you made the mistake of falling for someone. And you weren’t going to do that again, because it always led to hurt. Trying not to dwell on those thoughts of your former lover, you found your voice and looked over at Negan.

“And if I was fucking him, why would it matter to you?”

That seemed to catch his attention because he sat up in bed, one arm resting over his knee while the other gripped Lucille a little tighter. “I don’t appreciate others touching what belongs to me.” 

Before you could even utter a word he grinned at you, that devilish smile growing wider as he saw how annoyed you looked. “Save your breath, sweetheart. We established this the last time.” With that, he kicked off his boots, and placed his beloved Lucille against the bed frame as he settled into the bed, crossing his arms and placing them behind his head. 

“What are you doing?” You asked, growing a little nervous as he seemed to make himself pretty comfortable in your room. 

He shifted in the bed, not opening his eyes as he proceeded to answer you. “In case you weren’t aware, it’s dark out, princess. We’re staying at this shit hole for tonight, and tomorrow we’re heading back. So I suggest you make your pretty little self comfortable, and come to bed.” You watched as he peeled off his gloves, and patted the space next to him, he couldn’t be serious.

“I’m not getting in bed with you.” You said sternly, you hardly knew him. And just because he saved your life, mostly for his own gain, you weren’t about to put yourself in that situation. He chuckled at your rejection, leaning up on his elbows as he opened his eyes. “Why the fuck not, sweetheart? Didn’t plan on trading Jesus for the Devil tonight?” 

He barked with laughter at the look on your face, clearly entertained by your misery. You got up and moved to the bathroom, trying to get away from him if only for a minute. He called after you, and you could still hear the amusement in his voice. “What? Was the joke that bad?”

You brushed roughly at your teeth, taking out your frustration. You weren’t looking forward to sleeping next to him, and you could always take the floor but somehow your pride refused it. It wasn’t technically your room, but it wasn’t his either so you’d be damned if you’re the one who has to move. You stepped outside, hoping he managed to fall asleep first. Instead you found him removing his leather jacket, and red scarf. Discarding both on the table next to the bed. When he heard your footsteps, he turned to look at you, a sly smile coming to his lips. “Don’t be shy, sweetheart. Get as comfortable as you need to.” He gestured towards your clothes, and you rolled your eyes. While you used to sleep fully clothed just in case, lately you had taken to sleeping in just a shirt and your panties, but that was obviously not an option tonight. You sat on the left side of the bed, removed only your boots, and let your hair fall down as you removed the band that was holding it into a ponytail. You quickly crawled into the bed, covering your body fully. The bed dipped as Negan took his place next to you, and you curled up as much as you could trying to get any distance from him. Not that it worked, because you soon felt a strong arm wrap around you and pull you closely to a warm, yet thankfully clothed, chest. You felt his hot breath brush across your face, the scent of leather and musk overloading your senses. This was, for the lack of a better term, very uncomfortable for you. You hadn’t been this close to anyone in so long, and you wanted to crawl away. And yet, it was also somewhat inviting. The warmth of his body made you drowsy, and you could feel sleep wanting to overtake you. If this was his version of psychological warfare, it was working. It was taking everything you had not to fall asleep, but when his breathing slowed and you knew he was finally out you let yourself succumb to your need as you joined him in sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who commented! They keep me going lol I am so excited for this story, guys! I already know how it's going to end. ;) This isn't a very long chapter, but I need it to advance the story! (Meaning, I am still working on the middle of this story, and this is meant to keep people happy until I can update again lol) I hope you guys enjoy, and please comment if you can!!! I enjoy reading them!
> 
> Also, for those who may or may not have noticed, I mix the comics and TV show to create this, as I enjoy scenes and dialogue from both. So, you may notice certain words or sentences come from either source :) It's quite fun, really.

A crack of light looming over your face is what woke you from your slumber, and you blinked your eyes a couple of times to adjust. Your hand came to cover your face briefly as you shifted in bed, throwing the blankets off you. You wiped the sleep from your eyes, and swung your legs over the side of the bed. It had to be early in the morning, for the sun was barely beginning to rise. 

“Rise and shine, honey.” 

Your head snapped to your left when you heard that smug voice come across the room. In your morning daze you had completely forgotten Negan had been there last night. In fact, you wish you could forget last night happened at all. You didn’t plan on making it habit of sleeping in a strangers arms. You may have exchanged words with him a couple of times, but he was hardly close enough to be near you like that. The only reason you allowed that to happen was because you feared what he might do if you didn’t. He may have proven sexual violence wasn’t his cup of tea, but he wasn’t above smashing a man’s brains in. 

“Negan.” Your tone came across a little angrier than you wanted, but he drove you half insane with annoyance whenever he spoke, and you only met him a little over a week ago. His very presence set your nerves on fire, and not in the lovely sense. There he was, sitting on a chair, Lucille between his legs as both his hands rested on the base of her. His trademark smirk plastered on his face. 

“Not happy to see me, sweetheart?” When you didn’t answer him, he placed one hand over his heart, in mock hurt. “You wound me.”

Your lip lifted in a slight sneer, turning away from him as you got up to get ready. You pulled some clothes out of the dresser near the bed, mentally thanking Jesus for having filled it up enough for you. It wasn’t exactly Armani, but clothes were in short supply now days. You turned to him, expecting him to turn away, hopefully taking the hint that you wanted privacy in your room, and in true Negan fashion it would seem, he didn’t. He sat there, lifting Lucille slightly off the ground and releasing her just enough to cause a banging noise to radiate throughout the room. You were certain he meant that as a scare tactic, not letting you forget that if you were to step out of line you could meet your end at the hands of Lucille. He was probably losing patience at the constant silence you were providing him right now. 

“It’s time to pay your debt, sweetheart.” 

When you saw him last night, you already knew what to expect. He was here to finally collect you. Even so, you still weren’t too keen on the idea of leaving with the man. You wanted to find a way to barter with him, perhaps he’d let you stay here and work for him at the same time. You found the people around here more agreeable than the saviors after all. But, you chose not to bring that up, because you already knew that request would be shut down immediately. You nodded your head at him, never letting the frown on your face falter. It wasn’t much, but if you could make him realize you weren’t happy, it was a tiny revenge you gave yourself. 

“Good, now hurry and get fucking dressed. We don’t have all fucking day.” He said, as he stood from his current position. He reached for his gloves that were sitting on the table, putting them on as he watched you intently. You could tell he was getting ready to make more vexing remarks towards you, but you weren’t about to give him that chance. Setting aside your pride for a second, you decided to tear your own clothes off, angrily throwing your shirt to the ground as you reached for the new set of clothes. It was childish, yes. But, it wasn’t a secret that he was attracted to you, so you used that to your advantage. Anything to get him to shut up and it worked wonders.

Your eyes never left his face as you peeled your shorts off, standing there in just a bra and panties. You threw the shorts to the ground roughly, letting the resentment flow out of you as you changed in front of him. You watched as his eyes traveled over you, his hands frozen in their action of putting his gloves on. Every inch of your skin that his brown eyes mapped over made them turn darker, lust pooling inside of them. You felt a chill run up your spine, and you weren’t quite sure why. But, for the moment you elected to ignore it in favor of your anger. You pulled your new white shirt on, pairing it with basic black jeans as you turned to grab your boots. You pulled your hair up into a messy bun, and when you turned around to face him again he was suddenly in front of you. You jumped back in a bit of surprise, not expecting him to be so close to you. If you reached out, your hand would’ve collided with his chest easily. For a man who loved to hear himself talk, he was rather proficient at being silent when he wanted to. You corrected your posture, standing straight not wanting to show any fear. Even though deep down you could feel it building up. His hand reached up, and he gently grabbed a strand of your hair twirling it in his finger. 

“Fuck…” Was all he growled back to you. You let out a shaky breath as you brought your eyes slowly up to meet his own. That same dark shade of attraction was still there, and you could tell that his breathing had quickened just a bit. You stiffened when you saw him leaning down, his eyes now fixed on your lips. Alarm set in and you took a slight step back, your hair falling from his fingers. 

Negan only scoffed in amusement as he leaned back up to his full height. You turned your head to the side, trying to ignore what just happened as you bit delicately at your lip. You knew your little show would get a rise out of him, but you weren’t quite expecting it to end in that way. 

“That’s alright, sweetheart. Because fuck, if I don’t enjoy the chase.” He said it with such determination, making you feel a little uneasy. It was like a promise of things to come, as if he knew exactly where your future lay. And at this moment, it was unfortunately in his leather clad hands. 

Negan walked away from you, heading back towards the table until he fished out an all too familiar item from behind the chair. You gasped when you saw your bag hanging from his hand, and you found yourself moving quickly forward to retrieve it. He surprisingly let you grab it from his tight grasp, and you tossed it onto the bed as you started going through it. You pulled back, and it looked at it oddly not quite believing that the object you sought was no longer in it. You fished through every pocket; fingers gliding to every corner to make sure it wasn’t there. You turned back to Negan.

“There was a-“ You stop mid sentence, noticing the phone Negan was currently holding up in his hand. He turned it in his palms, eyeing it curiously until he turned back to you with a grin. 

“Looking for this, sweetheart? Now why the fuck would you need a goddamn phone in this day and age?” 

You ran over to him, and tried grabbing it out of his hands, but his height allowed him to keep it easily away from you. 

“Negan, please…” Your voice was full of desperation, and you couldn’t care less at how weak you sounded right now, because you couldn’t lose your phone. It was far too precious to you. He shot you a look of interest, and while Negan normally made it a habit of knowing everything around him, he decided to let this one go which you were extremely thankful for. He shoved the phone into your chest, and you brought your hands up to clutch it tightly. His gloved hand lingered for a bit, and he kept staring you down.   
“Consider this a gesture of good faith, for that fucking good show earlier.” 

You knew he was referring to you changing, and you felt your cheeks heat up at his words. He finally removed his hand from yours, and walked to the door. 

“Now hurry the fuck up and get your shit together. We’re leaving this fucking downer of a place today.” 

With that he walked out of your room, and you stood there for a minute, closing your eyes in relief as you held onto your phone. You looked down at it, smiling softly. You couldn’t imagine losing it; it was one of the last few things that still made you feel joy. Pushing those sentiments aside you quickly started packing your bag, throwing your clothes that Jesus gave you inside, and stuffing whatever essentials you could into it. Once you were satisfied you rushed out of the room, not wanting to make Negan wait any longer for you. As you walked out into the open, you spotted Negan talking to Gregory over in a corner, more than likely discussing when he’d be back to collect on his half. You stood silently on the porch of the large home, not really ready to leave. 

“So, I guess this is goodbye?”

Jesus walked over to you, smiling as your eyes met. You couldn’t help but smile back; you were hoping you’d get a chance to see him before you left Hilltop. 

“I guess it is.” You said a little disappointed. While you didn’t exactly return his romantic feelings towards you, he had become a good friend over the time you spent here. You actually came to almost trust the man, which was in high demand now days.

“It’s a shame.”

You laughed, mouthing a quick ‘yeah’ as you agreed with him. “It certainly is. But, thank you. For everything, Jesus. Really, I can’t thank you enough.”  
He raised a hand, waving your gratitude off. “Don’t even worry about it, it was my pleasure.”

You both stood there trying to decide the best way to say goodbye. Eventually, you leaned forward and wrapped your arms around him taking him a bit by surprise. After the initial shock wore off, Jesus brought his arms around you. 

“Can’t even leave you alone for a second can I, sweetheart?”

You two pulled away from each other, turning to see Negan standing by the porch, frown on his bearded face as he swung Lucille up to his shoulder. You looked over to Jesus, who wore the exact same frown on his own face. You gave him a quick smile, before throwing your bag over your shoulder and walking away, stopping next to Negan’s side. After last night you had come to learn the tall man had a bit of a jealous side, and he didn’t even care for you. You could only imagine how angry he would be if he actually did. Internal monologue aside, you looked up at him.

“I’m ready.” You said, hoping it’d be enough for him to leave Jesus alone. He only glared down at you and motioned for you to get into the RV at the front of the field. You glanced back at Jesus, giving him an apologetic smile before walking towards the vehicle. Once you were out of earshot, Negan sauntered over to the younger man, smiling down at him as he spoke.

“I want you to remember something.” His voice though accompanied by a smile, was low and threatening. “I am everywhere. Now let that fundamental fact sink in, Jesus. Because, when I came to this shithole, I gave you all options. You give me half your shit, not the other way around. And that-“ He pointed Lucille towards you. “Belongs to me. Get the fucking picture?” 

Step out of line, take anything that he so confidently stated was his, and he’d know one way or another, Jesus got the gist of it. While he didn’t appreciate the threat, he knew damn well that it was true. When it came to Negan, the man held power over people. And knowing who to trust now days was hard enough. He never broke his stare though, and he only glared at the taller man, while he nodded his head.

“Got it.” 

Negan moved away, smirking down at Jesus before turning his back to him and walking off towards the vehicles. “I’ll personally be back in a week to collect.” He threw over his shoulder, wanting to really make sure his threat settled in. Once Negan reached the RV, he climbed in making sure you were inside before telling the driver to get going. You watched as he moved to the small table in the RV, placing Lucille next to him, as he kicked his boots up. You had taken a seat on the bed at the end of the vehicle, grabbing onto the window ledge as the RV came to life, jerking forward a bit roughly. You could feel Negan’s gaze burning into you, but you chose to brush it off not really wanting to deal with any Jesus jokes he probably wanted to make. Once you were out of the Hilltop colony, you decided to make some conversation with him. 

“Where are my weapons?” 

If you never questioned your intelligence before, you certainly were now. Because, the look he gave you spoke volumes, as if you lacked the basic common sense to realize why you weren’t in possession of them anymore. 

“You really fucking think I’d give you back that shit?”

You rolled your eyes, looking back down at your hands as he continued.

“Besides the fact that they’re now mine to do with as I fucking please, I don’t know if I could trust you with them, considering what type of weapons you were fucking packing.”   
He had somewhat of a point, you thought. Most of what you carried wasn’t exactly traditional for the times. You opted for more quiet weapons in combat, your bow among your favorites as you had taken archery back in college. Not to toot your own horn, but you were more than good at using it. On top of that, you had taken it upon yourself to raid a nearby store that sold movie replicas of weapons when the dead started walking the earth. Most people went to the gun shops, and took whatever ammo they could find, but swords and knives were a bit more your style. That, and you never liked guns. Your hatred and fear only grew for them when you had no choice but to use it once, and that one time was enough for you. 

“Whatever happened to packing heat?” 

His words brought you out of your thoughts, and you looked over at him. “I don’t like guns.” 

He raised his eyebrows at your admission, and he seemed somewhat intrigued by it. “Why the fuck not, doll? Aside from my girl Lucille, I’d take a gun anyday.”   
You looked down, and you weren’t sure why you said it or even admitted such an intimate fact to him, but you did. Perhaps you just wanted him to drop the subject all together. 

“The first walker I killed was my mother.”

You didn’t need to say anymore for him to understand why you never used a gun again, and he only stared at you with a blank look on his face. Whether he was bored of the subject, or he understood it was a touchy one for you, he didn’t pursue it. And you were grateful for that. It was enough that you even said such a thing to him. You decided to open the blinds in the window, needing something to distract you from the silence that was starting to fill the RV. You didn’t know if it was you who made things awkward by blurting out something so personal, or if he just got bored with you. You glanced in his direction, and quickly realized he was asleep, or perhaps just resting his eyes. He was leaning against the wall, legs up on the edge of the small kitchen counter as he sank into the bench he was sitting on. Oddly enough, the man could be rather appealing when he wasn’t talking. You smiled to yourself, your own thought amusing you. You turned back to look out the window, finger drawing lazy circles in the condensation that formed on the glass from the chilly air outside. You watched the world go by; dirt roads turning into trees, turning into small rivers it was all beautiful really. Even after the world ended, nature still thrived if anything it took its life back from humanity. Speaking of taking life back, you had a question pop back into your head. 

“What do you plan on doing with me?”

You heard a sigh come from him, signaling that he was in fact awake this whole time. He cracked an eye open and stared in your direction, running a hand through his black hair before answering. “You’ve got options, sweetheart. Some of which I guarantee are more appealing than others.” He said that last part with a smirk on his face, and you figured you knew what he meant. But, before assuming completely you figured asking would be better.

“And what exactly are my options?”

“We can discuss those once we’re at the sanctuary.” 

You were a bit disappointed that he wasn’t forthcoming with them, but you didn’t push the subject. You went back to drawing on the window, trying hard not to focus on the burning gaze that was currently fixed on you. Just as the silence and his stare were becoming too unsettling you felt the RV come to a halt, and you looked forward to see the driver turning off the vehicle, and exiting. You watched the man through the windshield, noticing how he stopped to speak to someone that must’ve been above the gates that were currently in the way of the RV. You suddenly rose from your seat, making your way through the aisle not even caring that you practically shoved Negan’s legs out of the way in your haste to get to the front. Annoyed at first, Negan’s gaze followed your form, a grin replacing that scowl as he noticed your widened stare. He pushed himself up from the bench and made his way over to you, your back was towards him as you stood between the driver and passenger seat. He placed his gloved hands on the backs of both chairs keeping you there whether you liked it or not, but you were too busy staring in disbelief at the sight in front of you. You thought Hilltop was big…Jesus was right; your world just got a whole lot bigger. You watched as the gates were fully opened now, and you didn’t even care that Negan had leaned down and was whispering in your ear. No doubt admiring his own work.

 

“Welcome to the Sanctuary, sweetheart.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guyyyys! I updated, I am so proud of me. :) I hope you all enjoy this chapter, nothing too crazy happens but again necessary for advancements. I am so thrilled to get to the middle chapters because that's when shit goes down!!! But, again I hope you enjoy!! Please review!!! It warms my icy heart to read them. 
> 
> And a big Thank you to those who have commented, and left kudos. It's really sweet, and I am extremely flattered you guys are reading this.

You push passed Negan, practically shoving at his chest as you run out of the RV door, wanting to take a closer look at what he calls the ‘Sanctuary’. You were in actual awe of the place, it seemed pretty well fortified and the buildings appeared to be in good shape for something that probably hasn’t had proper maintenance since the world ended.

 

“Like what you see, doll?”

 

You let out a breath when your bag was shoved into your chest and you gripped it tightly to you before it fell from him practically throwing it into you. Negan had strolled up to your side, Lucille hanging over his shoulder as he turned his gaze towards the compound.

“Well?”

“Hm?” You replied rather idiotically, still in a daze over the sight before you. You turned your head to look at Negan who was rolling his eyes at you before motioning to the Sanctuary.

“Impressed, sweetheart? She’s a fucking beauty ain’t she?”

After catching on to what he was asking you quickly nodded your head, not entirely sharing his enthusiasm over the place. It was impressive, without a doubt but you didn’t think beauty was the correct term to use. Especially when you noticed the group of walkers chained to the gates. For some reason, that didn’t sit too well with you. But, you figured saying anything but yes to him was not in your best interest.

“Yea it’s…pretty cool.” Not exactly the most eloquent of words, but it seemed to please him enough.

Negan walked over to a man who had been standing at the gates, and you watched as he leaned down and whispered something into his ear before walking off into the distance. You began to follow after him, assuming that’s what he wanted but the other man’s arm came down in front of you blocking your way. You follow his arm with your eyes until you reach his face, and he’s only staring at you with disinterest.

“Follow me.”

Before you can respond he starts walking off, yelling at the men still in the trucks to make sure everything gets put back where it should be. You allow yourself a glance back, watching as the gates begin to close, and you realize then that this is it. With the number of guards keeping watch at the top, and the ones patrolling the bottom fence as well you lacked a significant chance of escaping. Hopefully, it wouldn’t need to come to that though.

You caught up with the other man, watching the way his face was stuck in a frown. The Saviors were such a lively bunch, you thought solemnly. Might as well make the most of this little walk though.

“So, what’s your name?”

“Simon.” He barely acknowledged your presence, and any questions you asked after were met with either a grunt or one word. You couldn’t believe it, but you were starting to miss Negan. At least he talked to you.

“In here.”

You almost bump into Simon’s back as he stops suddenly, pointing at a door in the hallway. In your daydreaming you hadn’t even realized you were upstairs now, and you mentally scolded yourself for not paying attention because you didn’t know the way back outside or to anything for that matter.

“What’s this?” You ask.

“Your room, Negan’s assigned it to you.”

You mouth a quick ‘oh’ in response to him, looking around the hall real quick before opening your door. Before stepping in you motion at the other doors down the hall. “What’s in there?”

“Negan’s room. Do yourself a favor and stay out of it, unless you want to end up working the wall as a dead man.”

You just blinked at him, not really sure if he was joking with you or he was serious. His face hardly switched expressions so you couldn’t really tell. “Ok…well, thanks.” Simon just bowed his head in acknowledgment before retreating down the hallway again.

“It’s already passed lunch time, but dinner should be ready in a couple of hours. Just head down to the cafeteria like I showed you.”

He called back to you, and you nodded weakly before biting down on your lip. You had no idea where that was…you were too busy lost in your thoughts as he spoke the way here.

“Oh well.” You muttered to yourself, and push the door open as you stepped into your new room. As soon as you stepped foot inside you dropped your bag in shock. This room was definitely larger than your one at Hilltop. The bed alone was doubled in size, and the sheets looked fresh and soft. There stood a small makeshift fireplace in the corner, along with a dresser and bathroom. There was even a small library of books, and old videos next to a TV, with a comfy looking couch in front of it. Whatever this room was before the apocalypse, they did a damn good job of renovating it. And you had to wonder if Negan made sure it looked like this before you came, as if he was planning your stay here even before you woke up the first time in Hilltop. You had to thank him later for all this, but you had to wonder what you did to even deserve such a place to sleep. However, that was a question for a later time; you needed to get settled first. After all it looks like this would be home for…well who knew how long. You reached for your bag and began unpacking some clothes, neatly folding them into the dresser, and placing essentials inside the bathroom, admiring it as you did so. It wasn’t anything too special, but it was clean and actually had a curtain for privacy. After finishing all that you sat on the bed, dusting your pants off and suddenly being very aware that you had no idea what to do next. Sure, Negan had assigned this room to you but it still felt wrong to start sifting through the books and videos, or even sleep. You knew it had to do with you not having any of this for so long, and having it suddenly thrust at you was a more than unnerving. At Hilltop it was always a temporary fix, and you were used to that. Moving around was the lifestyle you held since the beginning, but knowing now that you may be here for quite a while was weird.

You glanced around the room, wondering if maybe you should head out and explore the Sanctuary for a while, but maybe that would get you in trouble. Not to mention you wouldn’t even know where to start or who to talk to, so far none of the Saviors you met seemed like good company. You decided it would be best to stay in, and you walked over to the large window in your room and sat at the edge of it. You watched as people below walked about, going into doors and garages. They all looked so normal, as if they hadn’t a care in the world. Some were even laughing and smiling together. You must have sat there for hours just watching them, not even caring about dinner at this point. You were too caught up in your thoughts, wondering why they could just not care about the world outside of here. You started to wonder if maybe they never even knew how it was out there beyond their walls.

A knock at your door snapped you from your thoughts, and you placed one leg off the windowsill as you prepared to answer it. However, Negan beat you to it. He opened your door, and walked into your room eyeing his work with admiration before setting his sights on you.

“Well hello, darlin’.”

He stretched his arms out, gesturing at all of your room before smirking at you.

“Fine as shit, right?”

You rewarded him with a smile, placing your hands on your knees as you got up. “Yes. Thank you for it. I don’t really know what to say, but thank you.”

He walked over to the couch and plopped down onto it, waving for you to join him. You decided to sit on the coffee table instead, and you didn’t miss the look of disappointment on his face. But, after that little fiasco in your room, which was honestly your fault, you thought it was better to keep a distance between you two. He only sighed, and sat up a little straighter throwing both arms over the back of the couch.

“Now let’s talk options, sweetheart.”

 

The moment you had been waiting for was finally here, and truthfully you were more excited by the prospect of working than you were for your new room. You get what you earn, and you certainly didn’t like things just being handed to you.

“And those are?”

Negan gives you one of his charming smiles, placing one finger up as he spoke.

“One: You work for points, but you’ll most likely wish you were dead. Two: You work for me, get yourself a brand new set of clothes and you live like a queen!”

His enthusiasm wasn’t very contagious to you right now, both options didn’t sound like the best of lives, and anything that sounded promising never was. You didn’t even think it was possible to live like royalty now days. But, he did give you this room, and that was something to be grateful for.

“What are points exactly?”

He threw his hand up in the air, obviously not recommending choosing that option.

“This place runs because people work, and what gets them to work is points. You earn your keep here, do your job right you get your points, you get to spend them on whatever the fuck you want.”

You nodded along to his words, contemplating on which of the two options sounded better for you. On one hand, you basically do the dirty work around here, probably cleaning up after people, and scrubbing toilets. Not exactly appealing to you, and the other well, it was probably still dirty work only better ‘pay’. But, the choice was clear to you.

“I guess option-“

“Now hold on, sweetheart. There’s one more option for you.”

You blinked at him in confusion, wondering why he didn’t tell you about it before. He got up with excitement, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you up to follow him out of the room. You ended up in the hallway again, and he motioned for you to follow him down the hall, at first you felt a bit nervous about it since his room was down that way and whatever option that entailed you definitely did not want. But, once you saw him pass by his doors you decided to follow him. You found yourselves standing in front of another set of doors, his smile growing as he opened it and allowed you inside first.

“Oh my god…” You quickly turned away at the sight in front of you, heat rising to your cheeks at how much bare skin you had just seen on total strangers. Behind you was a group of women, some lying on couches, others sitting down and painting their nails, but all of them were dressed in fine lingerie. And you had to wonder what in the hell you had walked into, and how this had anything to do with option 3, because you were extremely uncomfortable in here.

Negan only laughed at your reaction, walking deeper into the center of the room before throwing his arms up in his own glory as he proclaimed them all to be his wives.

“Sweetheart, let me introduce you to these super hot ladies, all of them my wives.”

It was then that it dawned on you, and you looked back at him with a bewildered look on your face. You caught the eyes of a few of them, and none of them looked the least impressed at the idea of another woman joining their ranks. Quite frankly, you couldn’t blame them. There were five of them already, and you highly doubted they were all ok with that.

“Ladies, don’t be shy! Introduce yourselves.”

They were hardly forthcoming with their names, but they still recited them anyway. You guessed it was because they didn’t want to anger their husband, even if he was speaking with amusement evident on his voice you knew how quickly his mood could sour. One by one they looked at you, and you had learned there was a Sherry, Amber, Tiffany, Michelle, and Jessie. You paid no mind to their individual features, not really wanting to come face to face with naked flesh. You merely faked a smile, turning just enough to wave behind you at the women.

“A pleasure. I’m Y/N.”

You really wanted to just get out of here and go back to your room, where it was quiet and there wasn’t a bunch of icy glares staring daggers into your back. You wondered briefly how many of them were already plotting your murder.

Sensing your slight discomfort, Negan moved over to you placing a hand on your shoulder as he spoke.

“So what do you say, Darlin’? Isn’t this shit cool?”

His charming southern drawl couldn’t tempt you into a fucking meal at this point, you were so baffled, so disgusted, pretty much every negative emotion in the book at this point. Did he really think having a harem was cool? But, you didn’t make a scene in front of the scantily clad women, you only averted your eyes and responded, mimicking the same words you did earlier in the day because you were mostly at a loss for words.

“Yea, pretty cool…”

Apparently satisfied with his little show, he chuckled and dragged you out of the room not even uttering a goodbye to his wives as he did so. As soon as you were outside the door, he cupped your cheek lifting your face to look up at him.

“Option number three, darlin’. You should know there is no door number four, so I suggest you choose very fucking wisely.”

It wasn’t even a contest, you were in no way going to be a wife of his, handsome or not you didn’t do relationships without meaning.

“No.”

You said it with such finality that it even caught him off guard, and you brushed passed him to head towards your room. Negan wasn’t going to let you off that easy though, and before you could shut your door he slipped in.

“Now hold on a minute, sweetheart. I suggest you take a step back and think about this real hard.”

“Option number two. That’s what I want, I’ll work for you.”

You could tell he was disappointed with your choice, and he leaned against the wall as he stared at you. His silence was wearing on you, and you knew he was giving you time to change your mind but that wasn’t going to happen. Never. You crossed your arms, and turned your body towards him, finally voicing your opinion.

“You honestly think I’m going to become your wife? Oh, wait. I mean one of your wives. Because, let me tell you now, Negan. That isn’t the kind of woman I am. For so many reasons! First off, marriage is between people who love one another, and even if I did feel that way about you, you can bet I still wouldn’t be tempted to take your hand because there are five other women out there who are already holding it.”

Negan only laughed at you, his dimples showing through his salt and pepper beard as he walked towards you. “Who said anything about love, doll? It’s like a contract. A fucking good contract. You get to live like a fucking queen, everyone here will be waiting on you hand and foot, you’ll want for nothing. You’ll even get to have a little fun in the process.” He bit his lip once he said that last part, his eyes roaming over your body as he edged closer to you. Unfortunately for him, nothing he said was making you want it anymore than you already did. You took a step back, shaking your head at him in disagreement.

“I will work for you. That is the agreement we make. And if that means I lose this room and all this stuff that is completely fine with me. I’ve had much less, believe me. You can set me up a tent outside on the lawn, and I will take that. I prefer anything that doesn’t require me to spread my legs just to get a free pass at everything.”

Your fuming gaze falls upon him, and he no longer seems amused at the situation. He only looks intently at you, and you can’t exactly read beyond the disappointment in his eyes. But, there is something else brewing back there.

“Fair enough, princess. It’s a damn shame though, because I would’ve treated you like one. A fucking queen at my side.”

You scoffed at the notion, sitting on your bed as he turned on his heels to leave. Before that he turned back to you one last time.

“You get to keep all this, as promised in option 2. You get a brand new set of every fucking thing. I don’t usually give people this option, most of them pussy’s aren’t worth it. But, you managed to fucking survive out there on your own, and lucky for you, I can respect that.”

It was all he said to you before exiting your room, and you just sat on the bed wondering what was to come. But, as they say tomorrow brings a new day.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to those who commented, and left kudos! I love reading them, so please keep them coming! It inspires me. This isn't the most exciting chapter, but it is needed as any plot advancement is lol Also, I wanted to update with something because I will not be updating this story or Fire at my feet until after the holiday. :) Family is in town and I will be spending it with them. So, for those who are in the states Happy Thanksgiving! I hope you enjoy this for now.

It’s only been a couple of days since you officially arrived at the Sanctuary, and you somehow managed to acquaint yourself with the layout well enough. Needless to say, every bit of this place was rather impressive. However, it lacked a certain calm and beauty that Hilltop had, even your old farm home carried a sweet passion about it. You figured when under the rule of a man like Negan the environment wouldn’t exactly be fun and inviting. But, you gave him credit for bringing this all together. To have a place this large standing, this many people thriving, it seemed like a dream to you.

You finished putting on your tank top, smoothing out the small wrinkles as you exited the room. It was around lunch time by now, and you might as well take advantage and grab something to eat. Over the last few days you didn’t bother eating much, the time you had been outside these walls meals were scarce so you had gotten used to eating once a day if you were lucky. It felt so odd to have food available three times a day, more so if you wanted to spare your points for a snack. It was a hard adjustment period for you, and you were sure it would take a long time for it to finally sink in that you could relax a bit around here, and everyone. Until then, you kept your distance. You only ventured out of your assigned room when a meal was needed, and since Negan hadn’t come by since that night you didn’t see a reason to do much else.

You grabbed a tray from the bin, getting in line to grab some of the food that was available today. It wasn’t gourmet by any means, but it looked decent enough and you thanked the girl as she poured some soup into your bowl. You turned to look around the cafeteria, wondering if you should find a place to sit and eat this time. The first day you came down here you tried hard to sit in peace and just listen to the other’s around you. And even though most of them paid you no mind, it was just too much for you to take in. You had been on your own for so long being thrust into a crowd now was overwhelming, and an irrational anger would build up inside of you whenever you were around all of these people. So you usually gave into your anxieties and took food up to your room instead. Looks like today would be the same for you.

As you begin to walk towards the exit your eyes caught those of a slightly familiar face, although you aren’t quite able to place it. That is until the woman uncrosses her arms, revealing her cleavage and a tattoo you remember seeing when Negan took you into his personal harem. You blushed at the memory, visions of his half dressed wives coming in to your head. You hang your head a bit, hoping it’s enough for her not to start a conversation with you, but unfortunately for you she wasn’t fazed by your display. She stands directly in front of you, blocking your way out of the cafeteria.

“Hey, fresh meat.”

She smirks at you, her green eyes traveling up and down your shorter frame, sizing you up. You could feel her judgmental gaze boring into your skin, and you took a deep breath trying to ignore her rude nickname for you. You glanced up at her, managing a soft smile as you addressed her.

“Hey Am-…Sher…” You tried stating some of the names that you did remember, seeing if her eyes would tell you if you got it correct or not. Apparently that wasn’t the case though, because her smug look was replaced with a frown.

“Tiffany.”

“Right, Tiffany.” You wagged your finger at her, trying to ease the tension that had developed between the two of you. “I knew that.”

You placed your hand back under your lunch tray, nervously looking around for an escape route. But, it seemed she had other plans for you that had been well thought out in advance. She linked her arm around yours, walking off without giving you a chance to protest.

“So, tell me fresh meat, where are you from?”

To any untrained eye she would appear friendly, but you knew better. Her eyes betrayed her gentleness and you were starting to get annoyed at her little façade.

“Over the wall.” Is all you gave her in ways of information; she didn’t need to know anything about you.

You could see from your peripheral that Tiffany had rolled her eyes at your answer, but she quickly turned back to you with a smile.

“Well, poor you. Is that why you always look so ragged?”

You gritted your teeth, grinding them together in your annoyance. Ok fine, she was wearing finer clothes than you. Perhaps a bit too revealing for your tastes but still they were admittedly nice, and her hair was made up, and her make-up skills were impeccable but you bet dollars to doughnuts she didn’t know the first thing about survival in this world. Probably why she chose the route she did. In fact you were more than positive she was lucky as all hell to have found Negan. In any case, if that’s how she wanted this to play out then you were game. You leaned closer to her, squinting your eyes as you looked intently at her face.

“Oh no…”

She looked at you oddly, but brought a hand up to touch her made up features, trying to figure out what your problem was.

“What?”

You pointed at her chin, scrunching your face in fake worry as you spoke.                    

“You got a few blemishes you missed covering.”

You bit down on your lower lip, trying very hard to stifle the laugh that was threatening to come out at the sight of her panic stricken look. Bingo, you thought. You knew she was all about style, and if you had to poke at her vanity to get her to leave you alone then why not?

Tiffany huffed loudly, straightening her posture to gain some height on you as she glared angrily.

“Listen, fresh meat. In case you haven’t noticed there’s five of us already, and for some reason Daddy’s taken a liking to you.”

You laughed at her pet name for Negan, not really taking her seriously at first but your amusement faded as she just stared down at you with the most serious of expressions on her dolled up face.

“This isn’t a fucking joke! I already have four other sluts to worry about; you’re not gonna be one of them.”

A sigh of disbelief left your lips when she spilled her worries to you, and you propped yourself up against the wall as you stared over at her. “That’s not something you need to worry about, Tiffany. I have no interest in him like that.”

Despite your words she didn’t seem at all convinced, and she slid closer to you crossing her arms over her chest as she whispered into your face.

“Stay away from him, or else I’ll make sure you get thrown back over that wall.”

You didn’t falter, and you gazed directly into her eyes letting her know her threats didn’t have an effect on you. You were so close to opening your mouth to spew a couple of harsh words back but a hand quickly fell upon your shoulder stopping you.

“Hey! Been looking everywhere for you, thought we had plans to eat outside today.”

You turned to look at man, around the same age as you, smiling at you with a plate of food in his hands as well. He looked average, brown hair, brown eyes but he seemed kind. He caught on to your confusion and wrapped his arm around your shoulders as he propelled you forward and out of Tiffany’s way.

“Thought you ditched me for a second there.”

“Wh-“ He didn’t let you speak, and only threw his hand up in greeting at the other woman as he walked you both away.

“Gotta go, Tiffany! Have a nice day.”

You heard her scoff before the sound of heels walked off into the distant surroundings, leaving only the two of you walking side by side together.

When he opens the doors to the field out front, you cover your eyes immediately, trying to block the bright rays of the sun. You follow him to a small table and he takes a seat, and motions for you to do the same as he unwraps his napkin. You hesitate at first, but decide he seems harmless enough for you to sit down next to him. You place your tray on the table, and unwrap your own napkin as he speaks.

“Do you have a death wish?”

You look up at him, poking at some carrots on your plate as you raise your eyebrows in question.

“No…”

He shrugs his shoulders, wiping the napkin over his mouth before continuing.

“Could’ve fooled me. Threatening Negan’s wives is basically asking to be killed. I know you’re new here, but do yourself a solid and don’t even talk to them. Don’t even be in the same room as them if you can help it.”

His humor wasn’t lost on you, and you allowed him a quick grin before thanking him for the advice. Even though you were quite sure Negan wouldn’t lay a hand on you, at least anything too drastic.

“Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind. I’m Y/N, by the way.”

You extended your hand out, shaking his as he gave you his name.

“Jared. I work in the marketplace.”

“Nice. How’s that going?”

“Well, I’m basically poor, but I was a cashier before all this so technically nothing’s changed.”

You laughed aloud, actually enjoying the conversation with Jared. He was the first person to actually make you feel properly welcomed. Granted, Negan did set you up with nice things, and a place to lay your head at night but he was a bit over the top about it. Not to mention it was probably a clever ploy to get you to be his sixth wife. This though, felt more genuine.

“What about you? Got a job yet?”

You nod your head, shoving your empty plate aside. “Yea, looks like I’ll be working for Negan directly. Though I don’t know when that’s going to start. No one’s really said anything to me yet.”

Jared gave you an impressed look, shifting his body so he was facing you a bit better.

“Cheers to you then. Most beautiful women that come to this place always choose option three.”

No doubt there, you thought. Deep down you couldn’t blame a woman for wanting to forget the world outside and choose the easy route, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t believe it was a terrible decision. Negan seemed to treat them well enough, but it was a spoiled lifestyle and it definitely wasn’t earned or deserved by anyone these days.

“Did he offer it to you?”

You ignored your prior thoughts, nodding over at him as you brushed some of your hair aside. “Yea. Yea, he did.”

“Figures. All of us are here working our asses off for shitty points, and they’re all there sitting around braiding each other’s hair.”

You couldn’t begrudge him his anger you felt the same way too. Especially after seeing the way some of these people lived. They didn’t have much in the way of things, but really they had only be thankful for a meal and their lives at the end of the day. And you knew they deserved better than that.

“Don’t tell him I said that by the way, he’d kill me. Negan doesn’t admire those who whine about ‘trivial’ things.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

You agreed to his request, not having planned on bringing it up to Negan either way. You knew better than to start picking at his rule here, you held no authority over any of these people.

“Thanks, Y/N. Anyway, I have to get back to work. If you ever need anything just holler. Let’s grab lunch again next time!”

Jared stood up, patting your shoulder before heading back to the compound. You watched him until he was no longer visible, and decided to head back up to your room for the rest of the day.

 

* * *

 

 

“Michelle, wouldn’t you rather have an Elvis party?!”

You’re sitting on your couch, staring at the TV with a blank expression as an old episode of Full House plays on the screen. It was the first time you used the device, and it felt so strange to be sitting here doing nothing but this. It was nerve wracking, and you were becoming extremely restless. You found it in your best interests to not go bother Negan about your job, you figured he had everything under control and would come to you when needed. But, now you had sunk to a new low. You can’t spend your days watching 90’s television. You slam your hand onto the VCR, and just before you can throw it to the ground a knock on your door stops you. You turn to look over your shoulder at it, waiting for confirmation on who it is before you open. But, you only get another knock, this one more aggressive than the last.

You rise from your spot on the couch, cautiously walking to the door. You turn the knob and crack it open just enough to see Simon standing outside, a duffel bag in his arms. He pushes the door open, obviously getting annoyed at your slow actions. He walks into your room and throws the bag onto the floor as he kneels down.

“You ready?”

You tilt your head in question, wondering what it is you should be ready for. He gives you a cheeky smile, throwing your bow into your arms. “Looks like today’s your lucky day. It’s your first run, and Negan wants you prepared so here’s some of your shit back.”

He sets your knife on the floor, rummaging through the rest of the bag in search for your arrows. You stand there in shock for a moment, surprised that Negan would even let you have this much back, but once you see your arrows you smile and start grabbing them eagerly out of Simon’s hand.

“Thanks.”

Simon only nods, zipping the bag back up and throwing it over his shoulder. “Just hurry up, Negan doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”

Once he leaves your room, you grab your jacket, placing all your arrows into the quiver as you settle it over your back. You slide your knife into your boot, finally feeling the happiest you’ve been in a while. It was going to be nice to head back out there, in the open air. Despite all the danger that lurked passed the walls of this place, it felt more like home out there. You rush out of the room, racing down the stairs as you make your way outside to the gates. You see a number of trucks and vans stationed there, Savior’s running around and loading some supplies as they get ready to leave.  

You jump when you feel a hand brush across your lower back, only to linger on your hip as a gruff voice comes across your ear.

“Long time no see, sweetheart.”

You whip your body around, trying to form a distance between you and Negan. He only seems amused by it, and starts walking towards the trucks, his very presence demanding that you follow him, and you do. He barks a few orders to some of his men before turning to you with a grin, opening up the passenger door to his personal truck, holding his hand out for you to take as you climb in, but you move it away and hop up, placing your bag and bow on the floor as you slant back into the seat. He shuts the door behind you, gesturing to his gate guards to open up before climbing into the driver’s seat. As you pulling your seatbelt around you, you stop midway to look in the back of the truck, and then around the vehicle, and you begin to realize that no one else is climbing into the truck with you guys.  

“No one else?”

You were too nervous to completely phrase your question, but Negan seemed to catch on. He scratched at his neck, shifting his red scarf around as he let his eyes fall to you. “Where’s the fun in that, doll?”

He started the truck up, shifting the gear as he began to drive forward out of the gates, and you finished buckling your belt as you sank deep into the leather of the chair. This was going to be a long drive.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, an update! This chapter isn't long, but it has Negan in all of it! :) Hope you guys enjoy, please do review! As always, they keep me motivated. And we finally start to see our beloved reader letting Negan grow on her just a tad, hurray development. It gets better, I promise.

You hadn’t really seen Negan since the first day you arrived at the Sanctuary, there were a few run-ins here and there, but for the most part he only ignored you. Granted, he was a very busy man as you had come to witness, if he wasn’t out on runs or collecting from ‘his’ local communities he was holding meetings between his men, or citizens. You opted out on most of them, and thankfully he didn’t seem to mind too much. He never came to berate you for missing any, or even so much as sent for you the last couple of days. Truthfully, you started to wonder if you hurt his feelings when you passed up the chance to be one of his wives, though you highly doubted he was the type to get his feelings hurt. If anything he may have just seen you as a good lay lost.

For some reason that thought disappointed you though. It was a shame he didn’t think much of true relationships, he was a handsome man, and in another time you would’ve definitely agreed to a date with him. Despite his arrogant attitude and domineering behavior he wasn’t half bad, you decided. And you vaguely wondered if he was different before the world went to hell in a hand basket. Perhaps, he was just a result of life doing what it was best at lately: destroying lives. If you were lucky enough to survive the dead, then you were unfortunate enough to survive the world. That was the difficult part. This world brought out the absolute worse in people, even you.

A sigh left your mouth as you shifted in the passenger seat, cheek resting on your fist as you leaned close to the window. It wasn’t long since you all left the sanctuary for your run, but sitting here in the quiet with your boss was becoming mind numbing. Occasionally a voice would come over the radio, and Negan would respond with directions, but other than that silence filled the truck. You weren’t sure if you should start a conversation with him or if he was in some sort of mood and didn’t want to be disturbed. You chanced a glance over at him, and he paid you no mind as he drove eyes directly on the road in front of him. It was strange seeing him this way, he seemed so calm as he relaxed back into his seat, one hand on the wheel as he mindlessly tapped along to whatever song was playing in his head. Sunlight bounced off the windshield, and some of its rays lay flat upon his face making his brown eyes gleam, and in that moment he was more appealing than he had ever been before.   You couldn’t help the small smile that formed on your lips; it was nice to see him this way. Like there really might be another man behind all that bravado, and cleverly placed threats. In all your thinking you hadn’t realized he had caught you staring his way by this point.

“Can’t help staring can you, sweetheart? Tell me, what are you thinking about? I’m crossing my fingers for a little freaky-deaky.”

Averting your eyes, you licked your lip in embarrassment at having been caught by him. “Of course not.” You didn’t want to take the bait he laid out; knowing if you did you’d give him exactly what he wanted. If it’s one thing you’ve come to learn about him, he loves to play games and if that means tormenting others he will do it. He knew how you felt about him, about being a booty call, that it wasn’t your thing and if he could endlessly tease you about it he would. In an odd way it did help ease the tension you held when you first were around him. He replaced his threats with playful quips, and that was better than nothing you figured. Funny how you could be so entranced by his better side for one second, and then want to punch him in the balls the next. One of his many talents, you supposed.

“Why are you coming anyway? I thought you had a meeting to attend to.”

Negan threw his arm over the back of your chair, gloved hand coming to rest just an inch from your shoulder as he shrugged. “And let you out on your first fucking run without a proper chauffeur. Not a fucking chance in hell, sweetheart. Besides, just think of this as a bonding experience.” He winked at you, making you roll your eyes in annoyance at his flirtatious nature. Thankfully, all the vehicles came to a halt and you looked outside to see the rest of the saviors head out of their vehicles and huddle around, waiting on Negan’s command. You exit the vehicle, holding onto the door as you peer around the abandoned town you’ve stopped in, the eeriness of its silence sending a slight shiver down your back. Negan’s voice carried over the wind as he yelled out some commands to his men, and you took that chance to walk off on your own to explore the factory you set your sights on. The one good thing about being one of the few women amongst his group of male saviors was that no one seemed to pay any attention to you unless it was to leer perversely. Frankly, they didn’t perceive you as a threat. Besides, you had done this a million times on your own this wasn’t anything you couldn’t handle.

Patrolling the factory, you find a decent sized window on the side that was your ticket in, and you grab a discarded piece of cloth nearby and wrap it firmly around your fist. As swiftly as you can you punch a hole into the glass, using the noise from the falling shards to attract any walkers that may be inside. No noise comes though, and you hoist yourself up on the ledge ready to jump in until a strong hand grabs your shoulder. You turn, bow drawn and ready to eliminate the threat, but you sag back in relief when you see Negan standing there.

“It’s just you.”

He pulls you back roughly, and you barely manage to catch yourself as your feet meet the ground.

“What the fucking fuck are you doing?!”

The anger is written clear on his face as he glares down at you, and it reminded you of the first time you met him, the way he yanked roughly at your chin as he declared you and all your belongings as his. Talk about mood swings. You shrink back just a tad, trying hard to ignore the lingering fear that came at the sound of his booming voice.

“I’ve done this before, I can-“

He clicks his tongue at you, cutting your excuses off as he rubs his beard. “You’re under my fucking command, doll. And last time I fucking checked, your orders weren’t to run off like a fucking idiot. Now unless you want the point system you’ll follow what I say, now are you going to cooperate?”

Like a scolded child, you simply nod your head in understanding not wanting to further the anger behind his eyes. “Then what’s your command.” It leaves your lips with a smidge of pride, but he ignores it and gestures for you to follow him through the very window you just opened. You throw your hands up in disbelief, as if you hadn’t just thought of that plan ten minutes ago. But, you follow him anyway knowing it was the safest route. Negan drops down to the concrete floor with ease, and he glances around for any signs of danger as he throws Lucille over his shoulder.

“Come on.”

He extends his hand to you, and you take it with gratitude after you see how far the drop is. He was much taller than you, and no doubt that jump down would’ve made your ankles ache. Once you’re settled you quickly snag your hand back, uttering a quick thanks as you ready your bow once more in case of danger.

There’s numerous rusted barrels strewn about the room, and the smell resembled chemicals you were once very acquainted with back then. You kneel down in front of one, wiping at the grime and dust that had built up over the years, and it revealed a hazard warning label. Flammable, fantastic.

“Medical lab.”

“How do you know?” Negan throws over his shoulder as he pries open some old lockers in the corner, scoffing when nothing of valuable lies behind them. You point to the symbol on the barrel, smiling as you stated your knowledge.

“I was a vet tech before all this. You get to learn basic chemical warnings. These are flammable, and it sounds like they’re still full so be careful.”

Negan only chuckles at you, settling his boot on the barrel as he rolled it slightly. “Didn’t peg you for a fucking animal lover.”

It almost offended you for some reason, like it was a direct jab at who you were. In your previous life you had dedicated almost every waking moment to your job, you were on the road to becoming a vet even. You missed it terribly, and unfortunately coming by any animals now was hard. Most domestic animals either perished at the beginning, or reverted to their feral stages to survive and the few swine or cattle you saw back at the sanctuary were meant to be eaten.

“Why not?” You asked, curious to see what his reasoning was.

“Too pretty to have such a dirty shitty job.” He says it with such amusement in his tone that it riles you up. He was wrong on so many levels, and it certainly wasn’t a shitty job, dirty yes, but never shitty. You rise to your feet, kicking his boot off the barrel before heading towards the hallway.

“It wasn’t shitty. I enjoyed it, and it was one of the few things that made sense to me. If it wasn’t for that job I would have never met Tofu.”

“Tofu?” Negan says with an amused grin, following close behind you.

You roll your eyes at him, and slowly crack open the door that leads to the next area as you reply casually to his question. “Tofu was my cat. Needless to say…he didn’t make it.”

“That sucks.”

Not the most sympathetic of replies, but he wasn’t wrong. It did in fact suck. You had him since he was a kitten, and you nursed him back to health, he acted more like a dog than a cat at times, and you loved him for it. Unfortunately, when the virus first started to spread the military was ordered to wipe out your city, even if that meant killing healthy people as well. You and your brother made it out alive, and even if it would be inconvenient to have a cat around in this world, you wish you could have saved him.

“If I come across a fucking cat, maybe I’ll let you keep it.”

You turned back in surprise, not expecting Negan to even respond to your sentiments, yet alone offer you the chance to own a pet again. The image of him coming back after a run with a kitten in his leather jacket was sweetly humorous, and you smiled at him for his odd show of kindness.

“I’d like that.”

Negan nodded in response, pushing at your shoulder so you could go back to paying attention to what was in front of you. Even when he was joking he still held a seriousness about him, and you suspected someone in his position had to. You turned back ahead, coming down a dark hallway, the only light you had was the slivers of sunshine that managed to seep through the old bullet holes on the walls of the factory. The floors creaked under both your weights, the concrete slowly dissolving over time, it was clear no maintenance had been done on this building in a long time. Stepping around the corner, you both crouched back when you saw a walker banging against a door, wasting away at not having a meal in a while. It was an easy kill, and you drew your bow back, taking in a steady breath as you loosed an arrow, hitting the walker square in the head. Negan let out an impressed whistle, walking over to the corpse as he removed your arrow for you.

“Next one is mine. I do believe Lucille is getting a little jealous of not having any fun.”

He handed your arrow back to you, and you wiped away the blood before placing it back into your quiver. It was odd how he acted as if this was a game, and while you agreed to his terms, you had no interest in killing all of the dead for sport. To you, this was a necessity and sometimes a mercy to those lost. Kneeling down, you searched the body for anything useful and managed to fish out a key card from the back pocket of its scrubs.

“Could be useful, they usually hide all the good stuff behind locked doors.”

Negan hummed, retrieving the item from you before looking around for a door that it belonged to.

“It’s like Resident Evil, huh?”

He looked over at you, eyebrows lifted in confusion at your statement and you couldn’t help but giggle at his lost expression.

“The game. Never played it?”

Your explanation only furthered his puzzlement, and you realized you were talking to someone definitely out of your generation. “I meant the looting of the bodies to find items…” You trailed off, knowing he wasn’t catching on to anything you were saying. “How old are you anyway?”

A small grin played on your lips when his expression soured and he looked rightly pissed at you.

“Watch yourself, princess.”

You only bit down on your lip harder, trying to stifle the laugh that wanted to escape. You didn’t take him for a man that worried over his age. Honestly, he was probably a good 20 or so years older than you, but he definitely didn’t show it. He was admittedly very handsome, and though he was lean, no doubt before food was scare he had the body of a 20 year old. Not that he didn’t have an attractive frame now. His upper body was well built, and he carried himself confidently, and what on earth were you thinking? A blush waved over your cheeks, and you didn’t realize how far you let your musings trail off about him. You guessed being around him like this, surviving together, made you ease up on your opinion of him. He was still a dick, no debating that, but he had his moments you decided. For some reason he seemed to have taking a liking to you, enough to allow banter here and there. Even so, you understood that if pushed far enough you weren’t completely immune to his anger.

“Here.”

His deep voice struck you out of your flustered state, and you caught up with him as he pushed a door open that had worked with the key card. The room you both entered appeared to be some kind of old lab, dusty beakers and test tubes lay about, some broken on the floor. You lowered your bow after no immediate threat presented itself, and you both began to sift through the equipment and cabinets looking for anything that would prove helpful. One drawer luckily held syringes and needles in it, and Negan tossed over a bag to you that he found on a shelf, telling you to fill it up with as much as you could. He already shoved some bandages and an old first aid kit into it, and you filled in any empty spot you could find on it.

Eventually, you both had raided the lab dry and all that was left was the broken lab equipment that crushed under your feet as you stride towards the exit, but you stagger back in a panic as a loud thud hits the window of the door. Loud groans vibrated off the glass, a group of walkers had blocked your only exit out and you stared in horror as their teeth scraped against the door in their desperate need to feed on human flesh.

“Negan…”

Before you could even form a sentence he was in action, he kicked the table in the middle of the lab forward, attempting to blockage them in case the glass shattered under all their weight. He drew back against your side, holding Lucille tightly in his grasp as he cursed aloud.

“Shit! Fucking fuck shit!”

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update! Please review, or reblog, or like, or leave kudos. Whichever platform you’re using to read this! Thanks and enjoy!

 

Everything seemed to be going in slow motion for you, the world began to spin on itself and you felt as if your life was flashing before your eyes. In the back of your mind you could hear a voice telling you to just survive somehow, but your body didn’t react. Of all the ways to have it end, this wasn’t how you wanted to go, locked in a room waiting for the dead to burst in and eat you alive. It was a helpless feeling, and you were reminded of the day you had lost Logan, broken apart from his grasp as he fell into a horde of zombies with your other group members.

“Not like this…” Your voice was barely above whisper, and you heard Negan speaking to you but it wasn’t registering. It was his touch that brought you back to the reality of your situation, and you turned your worried gaze to him. His jaw was set tight, a slight panic in his own brown eyes as he tried to assess the situation.

“Stay with me, sweetheart. Now’s not the fucking time to be zoning the fuck out.”

A nod was all he received in the ways of confirmation, but you strung your bow up and pulled out your knife, knowing if this came down to close combat it was your safest choice. Your grip on the handle tightened in a painful grasp, and you felt your adrenaline levels rise. No matter how many times you had done this before, it would always be scary. Anyone who told you otherwise would be a liar, because facing your mortality was a frightening prospect.

“Come on you sorry shits!”

Negan was armed and ready for whatever came his way, and you both restlessly watched as the undead clawed at the glass, blood and decayed flesh sticking to its slick surfaced. You could hear the material creaking, knowing it would only be a matter of time before it caved in on itself. You looked around the lab, trying to find anything at all that might help you and Negan get out of here, and it almost seemed a fruitless endeavor if not for the medium sized window high up on the wall. With an impatient tap of your hand on his shoulder, Negan moved to look at you following your finger as you pointed to it. His eyes lit up, and you knew he was thinking the same thing you were.

“We need to get up there.”

You sheathed your knife, and started walking around trying to find anything that might help you reach it, but all that was left was the table Negan had used to block the door. It was risky, and it would allow them to probably get in easier, but it was that or nothing.

“The table, it’s our only option.”

He didn’t seem too thrilled about it, but he didn’t argue because he knew it was all you both had left for a chance to come out of this alive. He placed Lucille down against a shelf, and you helped him drag the table quickly across the room and under the window. Both of you glanced over at the door one more time, watching as the glass began to crack, and you wasted no more time. Negan grabbed Lucille, and you both swiftly hopped up onto it.

“You ready, doll?”

“Yeah.”

He gripped Lucille tightly, and smashed the end of her into the glass, a loud shattering sound causing the walkers to become fiercer in their task to reach you. Being the taller of the two, Negan managed to look over the ledge, scouting the outer area for danger.

“Not a bad drop.”

It was a lie, you could see it on his face, but if it was his way of not psyching you out then you could let it slide. He lifted his eyebrows at you, silently asking if you were ready to do this, and you nodded profusely. He held his hands down for you, allowing you to use him as leverage.

“Ladies first.”

You wanted to argue, but with the time crunch you did as he asked, you placed your hands on his shoulders, lifting a foot onto his palms as he boost you up enough to grab the ledge. With a harsh pull, you lifted yourself up and over the window, trying hard not to cut yourself on the broken glass, and with a loud thud you had fallen over, onto the rough ground below.

“Ow…”

A pained groan as all you could manage, and you lifted yourself up and onto your bruised knees turning to see if Negan had followed behind you. But, seconds ticked by and you were sure he should’ve gotten out by now.

“Negan?”

You called out his name, hoping for an answer but you didn’t get one. Worry began to form in the pit of your stomach, and you desperately called out to him again but nothing came. The sound of glass shattering on the other side made you climb to your feet, running towards the wall to try and jump up and see if he was safe but you weren’t tall enough.

“Negan!”

You banged your fists on the brick wall, not caring that it would leave marks; you should’ve been the one to go last. Moans of the dead filled your ears, and even though you had only known him for a small frame of time, losing someone again was not something you needed.

Just then a noise caught your attention, and you looked up to see a bag being thrown out the window landing a short distance from you. You backed up, never letting your eyes leave the window as you saw his precious Lucille being thrown out next. Relief flooded you, and you let a humorless smile adorn your lips as two gloved hands gripped the edge, a familiar face meeting yours as he launched himself over and out, onto the ground with a string of curses leaving him. His fall to freedom was no less graceful than your own, but he didn’t make it out unscathed. Drops of blood fell from a tear in his leather gloves, and it covered just how bad it might be. And as much as you didn’t want to ask, you know you had to.

“Walker or window?”

Negan pulls his weight onto one hand as he laid it behind him, craning his torso so he could sit up. He eyed his wounded palm, pulling off the glove with his teeth and throwing it to the side.

“Window.”

With a relieved sigh, you grabbed the bag of supplies thankful that he had enough bravery and sense to still grab it before saving his own life. Negan’s watching you carefully as you kneel next to him, taking his hand in yours as you begin to patch him up without a second thought. With a click, you flip the first aid kit open grabbing the alcohol swabs and tearing the tip of the packet.

“This is going to sting.”

You give him an apologetic look, ignoring the way his eyes were boring into you as you continued your aid. Negan winced slightly when the cool swab ran over his cut, but he made no other show of being in pain. Not that it was surprising to you he didn’t seem the type to let others know his level of discomfort.

“It doesn’t look too bad, it’ll probably cause some restriction in movement, but it won’t take long to heal I think.”

You lifted your eyes to his, and were taken back when he just stared at you with a curious emotion on his face. One that made you feel a little uncomfortable, so you looked back down focusing on the bandage as you wrapped it around his hand. But, no matter how hard you tried you could still feel the steely gaze of your gracious host. With growing discomfort, you finally willed yourself to meet his gaze.

“What?”

His lips are raising into a smirk now, a playful glint running across his eyes as he spoke. “There’s not many women like you now days, sweetheart.”

Confusion spread across your features at his words, and you finished tying off the bandage before you moved back up to your feet. “What are you talking about? There’s plenty like me.”

A doubtful scoff left him, and he threw everything back into the bag and sealed it up as he reached his full height again, looking down at you with a grin. “Fucking hardly, sweetheart. Have you seen the women at the sanctuary? Most of them want to be behind the goddamn scenes, or spreading their legs for me. But you, you seem more than fucking capable of doing everything.”

It was an odd thing to say, at least in your opinion. Up until now, he seemed rather fond of the idea of women spreading their legs for him, in fact when it came to such affairs he appeared more than happy to oblige that option. So much so, that the choice was offered to you, maybe he didn’t think much of your survival skills then, and his mind had changed after today. But, your interest was piqued.

“How’s that exactly?”

He shrugged his shoulders, reaching for Lucille and coming back to your side with the bag. “For one, you’ve survived this far and on your own. Color me fucking impressed, and two: you’re pretty smoking hot.”

Just when you think the man could show a different side to him, he brings his less than charming traits forth. With a roll of your eyes you fire back.

“And three, I am not spreading my legs for you.”

It only causes him to laugh deeply, his smirk growing as he saunters passed you. “There’s still time, doll.”

You grumble in disgust, trying to move forward and in front of him so you wouldn’t have to look at him anymore. “I hope your hand gets infected.” You didn’t mean it, not truly. But, right now he was grating on your nerves and it was all you could think of. Negan only seemed more entertained by you though, and he caught up easily enough until you were both walking side by side to reach the front of the building.

“You fucking see?! You’re a fighter, I love that.”

A compliment wasn’t really something you’d expect to hear from him, but that came as close as anything probably ever would. You wanted to smile, but it would only serve to increase his ego so you turned away and tried to hide it.

“So how did I do?” You changed the subject, although you did want to know what he thought of your efforts so far. You didn’t want to be placed on the point system after all. “You said you came along to make sure it ran smoothly, so how am I doing?”

He glanced over at you, as if he was assessing your performance. “Aside from running off on your own, and a herd of fucking corpses trapping us, not too fucking bad.”

Your features lit up and coming from him you guessed it was one of the best compliments he could give. Two in one day, if the world hadn’t ended before it surely would now. Your excitement wasn’t lost on him, and he watched you with an unreadable expression on his face, but whatever it had been it was fleeting. He motioned you towards the vehicles, nodding over at the other men as you finally reached your destination.

“Simon, get everyone ready. Time to get the fuck out of here.”

Simon nodded at his boss’ command, heading over to the other set of trucks as he waved and ordered the men around. Negan opened the door, setting the new supplies in the back before addressing you.

“Get in, doll. It’s getting dark and we have to head out now.”

You obeyed his demand, taking off your quiver and bow, setting it down on the floor of the passenger side as you made yourself comfortable in your seat. He followed soon after, starting up the truck and heading out in front of the rest of the caravan.  Night was beginning to drift over the sky, and you looked out the window wondering how far off the sanctuary was from here. The lights of the truck only illuminated so much of the road, and the majority of it was starting to disappear behind a thickening autumn fog. You found it odd that Negan didn’t seemed too worried about it, but that curiosity was satiated when he reached for the radio.

“Simon, what do you say we pay our hilltop friends a nice little visit?”

Your shoulders fell in disappointment, and you felt sympathy for Jesus and the others who inhabited Hilltop. It was no secret that the Saviors collected half from all the surrounding communities, but as of late it felt like Negan purposely set his sights on the colony more often, and you scarcely wondered if it had something to do with Jesus. Negan made it clear that he didn’t like you being around him, and it confused you as to why it still seemed to mean so much to him. You would understand if you had chosen to be his wife, but since you hadn’t those jealousies should’ve been put aside and laid to rest. It would make sense, from what you had witnessed at the sanctuary Negan didn’t seem to care for any of the other women being with his men, unless it was one of his wives and only if the other women were willing. You had heard rumors that there were severe punishments for fooling around behind his back as a wife though, but you weren’t quite sure what that was in reference to. So, maybe he wouldn’t bother threatening Jesus’ life anymore.

A laugh came over the radio, and you heard Simon agreeing with Negan. You knew it was the safer and smarter option to stay put instead of pushing forward to the sanctuary, but you really wish they could leave those poor people alone. The gates of Hilltop came into view, and you frowned when the convoy pulled over. Negan placed the truck in park, and honked the horn to alert the gate guards, but you were more concerned that he was going to attract the wrong kind of attention in the form of the dead. You reached over and pushed his hand off the wheel, earning you an annoyed look.

“You’ll lure walkers to us.”

He only scoffed in response, and for a second it looked like he wouldn’t mind that happening. But, he didn’t persist, and he rolled down the window when he saw someone looking down from the top of the gate.

“Well?” He said it with a smile, but you knew better than to interpret that as friendly coming from him. You just hoped the colonists were smart enough to understand that too. The two men up on the gate exchanged a look of skepticism, but they hopped down and wasted no time in opening up the gates. Negan chuckled at their haste, bringing the truck back to life as he pushed forward into Hilltop. You could see Jesus and Gregory coming out of the large home, worried expressions on both their faces.

Once parked inside, all the saviors and Negan exited, but you hesitated for a moment, not wanting to be apart the mind games they liked to play. You may be working for Negan now, but you wouldn’t sink to the levels of his other men. Your job description was strictly survival based, and toying with people wasn’t part of that. Though their voices were muffled by distance, you could see Gregory trying to appease Negan, and though you had only spoken to the leader here a handful of times you knew him to be a coward. Jesus on the other hand, was standing there with his arms crossed, not appreciating the late night visit from the very men who took from them without question. But, he was smart enough not to incite a conflict. Eventually, Gregory allowed Negan and his men inside trying to seem like a gracious host to the lot. That was when you opted to exit the truck, pulling your bag and equipment over your shoulders. You closed the door shut, and looked over to the house finally catching Jesus’ eyes. He seemed surprised at first, but then that sweet smile of his formed and he walked over to you, raising his hand in greeting.

“Y/N! Didn’t expect to see you here.”

You returned his smile, tilting your head as if you were just as shocked to be here again.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t think they’d-“ But, he cut you off telling you there wasn’t any need to apologize to him for the actions of the Saviors. At least you were grateful that he understood you weren’t like them.

“So, how’s it going over there? They’re treating you ok, right?”

“They are, as well as they are able to. Some of them can be rough around the edges, but I really can’t complain.”

He didn’t seem too convinced but he didn’t press the subject, and he looked back to the house making sure Negan wasn’t in sight before he spoke. “What about Negan? Does he bother you much?”

You found the question odd, and he must’ve caught on to your confusion because he elaborated on his inquiries.

“Negan just seemed overly fond of you the last time; I thought maybe you would’ve been made his wife by now.”

A blush formed on your cheeks, and you figured it was known throughout that he was forming his own harem because unless Jesus was hiding in your room that day he wouldn’t have known something like that. You cleared your throat, trying to figure out a way to answer him but words were lost on you. But, he didn’t need confirmation now, because your fidgeting gave him all the answers he needed.

“I take it you said no.” There was a joking nature to his tone, but he also seemed genuinely concerned about your choice. You laughed a bit, but patted him on the shoulder to ease his worries.

“What do you think I said?”

“Right. Shouldn’t have questioned you.”

You blew his apology off, knowing he didn’t need to be sorry. Now days most people would pick the easy way if given the chance so he had every right to question your decision. He adjusted his beanie, pointing to the home as he began walking towards it.

“You coming in? Looks like you guys are staying the night, and more than likely leaving with half our stuff in the morning.”

You opened your mouth to once again apologize for Negan and his men’s actions but Jesus didn’t let you.

“Once again, not your fault. Don’t worry, alright? I know you wouldn’t do this if given the choice. But, it’s getting late, why not come in? I’ll fix a room up for you.”

You pursed your lips, trying to think of an excuse as you looked from the home to the gates that led outside of the colony. With a lick of your lips you looked back at him, shaking your head. “Go on ahead, Jesus. I’ll be right there; I’ll just take a couch or something. Kind of want some fresh air for a bit. I’ll be right here.”

His eyes looked you over, as if you would give away the truth but even though he didn’t seem pleased with your response he just nodded, telling you not to be long before he walked off and into the home. Once he was out of sight, you glanced around looking for any stray observers before you headed over to the gate, trying your best to remain inconspicuous. You went behind some bushes, kneeling down and using your knife to cut into a screw that held a panel of wood to the fence, you wore away at it until the board came off just enough to slide over and let you exit the colony. Silently, you pushed through making sure no one, not even the guards, were aware of your presence outside. When their backs were turned you ran off into the nearby woods, using the cover of the trees to protect you. You weren’t sure why you were doing this, Negan gave you a lot in the ways of comfort, but coming back here…it reminded you of the farm house you had to yourself. And you became hyper aware of the longing feeling you had inside, that made you want to go back to that more simpler life.  Thinking about it now, sitting beside Negan for that long, helping him out, and him helping you out in return it was suffocating. The whole time you were with him inside that factory you felt an ease in the air, something you hadn’t felt in a long time, and in the back of your mind you were growing concerned about it while you walked side by side with him. You tried not to be cynical, tried to let yourself grow accustomed to that new way of living, but every time you got closer to it the more you wanted to push back. Long story short, you couldn’t let this happen and this was probably not a wise decision but if you could just get far enough then everything could go back to normal. Something inside of you said to stay with Negan, the reasoning behind that was unclear to you, so you didn’t run with that idea. Instinct was the wiser choice, and you followed it.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one! I enjoyed writing it, and from now on this fic is going to be very Negan-centric. To those of you who commented in prior chapters, thank you!!! I write this for you. Please enjoy! I'm so excited for where this story is going, and I cannot wait to show you guys how it ends lol As always REVIEW if you can :)

It would be a while till you stopped running, leaning against a nearby tree to try and catch your breath. You place your hand against the bark, sliding down against it as you wipe the sweat from your face. For a second you allowed yourself a moment of regret, and you debated if turning back was the smarter option. However, it seemed too little too late now, knowing Negan he had figured out you had made a break for it already. With a quick sigh you push yourself up, using the last reserves of your endurance to push north.

Darkness had begun to descend upon the forest, and you retrieved the flashlight from your bag flipping it on as you walked about. There wasn’t much going on, and only the sounds of insects and nocturnal creatures had filled the air around you. Cautiously, you stepped around a tree stump that stuck out from the ground, wrapping around it as quickly as you can in your haste to move as far from Hilltop as you could. You waved your flashlight to the left, letting out a gasp of surprise when you bump into something. With a shake of your head, you gather yourself and look up, your light following your movements.

“Christ!”

You jump back when you find a walker hanging from a tree, repulsion coming over you when you realized that is what you hit. You shined your light up, taking in its appearance noticing that it isn’t moving.

“Bullet wound.”

A single hole was on its head, and it looked like someone either put the poor soul out of its misery already, or that was the dealing blow and hanging it was just a sick message. Judging by the sign strapped around its torso it was the latter.

“The…Claimers…” You read aloud, lips twisting into a frown as apprehension came over you. You had a brief run in with that group before, a long time ago after having been separated from your own. They were a repugnant bunch, and if it hadn’t been for some quick thinking on your part they would’ve had their way with you. Luckily, you got away mostly unscathed. Whatever the case was now, it’d be in your best interest to try and stay away from them if they were lurking around the woods. You managed to come upon a decent sized clearing, after traveling for a good while it seemed a good place to set up a small camp for you to rest. Even though it wasn’t a wise choice you decided to start a fire for you to warm up by, the air was beginning to become a little too chilly for your liking.

You settled your bag next to you, rummaging through it for a granola bar as you kicked at the burning logs in an attempt to heighten the flames. It felt so odd being out here again by yourself after weeks of being with the Saviors. The silence was both eerie and welcoming, and you mulled over your thoughts as you chewed at your food. For some odd reason you felt a bit bad about leaving them, it was a spur of the moment decision you made but every part of you was just begging to be set free from it all. You let out a deep breath, casting your hands down at your sides as you tried to think of what to do. But, every path led you back here, because there wasn’t much you could do. Going back, you weren’t sure what Negan would do to you, but you were positive it wouldn’t be pretty. You could hardly blame him if he was furious though, for all the terrible things he could be he was also generous enough to give you a place to stay, and food in your belly. It was hard to understand in these instances why you wanted to run away so badly. You stuffed the empty bar wrapper into your bag, rubbing the crumbs from your hands as you reclined against a tree. Strings of smoke rose up into the night, the scent of burning wood mixing with the local flora creating a calming effect within you. You began to shut your eyes, letting drowsiness kick in, but a soft rustling in the brush caused you to snap your eyes back open. With a look around, you noticed nothing suspicious, but a knot in your stomach started to form alerting you that something wasn’t quite right.

“Hi there!”

You bolted from your spot, boots sliding against the dirt in your haste. You held your hand at your side, next to your knife in case it was needed. An older looking man stepped from the foliage, holding his hands up in some sort of surrender, as if to ease your stress.

“Now hold on there, little lady. We mean you no harm.”

His bearded face lifted into a smile, one that made you even more worried than before. You stepped back, looking him over before speaking. “We?”

He shook his head as if he had completely forgotten to elaborate on your behalf. “Ah right, my sincere apologies.” He shifted his attention to the bushes, motioning for the other two men that lay behind them to show themselves. Two much taller men rose from behind them, their faces twisted into smirks as they looked at you. For all his sincerities, you knew better than to trust this man or his friends.

“What do you want?” The words came out quickly, and with no attempt to cover the caution behind them.

The one who appeared to be the leader laughed, removing his gun from around his shoulder and slowly lowering it to the ground in a show of good faith. “Easy there, honey. We just want to talk, maybe ask a couple of questions while we are at it.”

“I doubt there’s anything we need to talk about.” You spat out, inching your hand closer and closer to your knife. This caught the eye of the other two men, and they began walking towards you but their leader held his hands out.

“Gerry, Ed, that’s enough. We’re all friends here.” He looked back over to you, his graying hair flying into his face as the wind kicked up. “Sorry about that, they tend to get testy around strangers. Long story short though we call ourselves the Claimers. I know what you’re thinking, sounds a bit ridiculous but it’s what we do. See, we take it upon ourselves to claim anything we see to our liking. And that is why we are here.”

Straightening yourself out, you decided to let him talk for now. You already knew the whole spiel; it was spoken to you before when you first met their group. You were just thankful it wasn’t the same men from the first time, and you vaguely wondered what came of them.

“So, honey…mind telling us about that community you came from? We saw you take a shit ton of supplies into there, most of which we would love to take off your hands.”

At his statement you felt that knot grow tighter in you, now realizing that they really didn’t mean you well. And it occurred to you that these men must have been trailing you for a while now, probably waited outside of Hilltop for any chance to gain access to it. You were so stupid, you really shouldn’t have left, you only hoped there was only the three of them. If that was the case, they stood no chance of harming Negan or his men.

“I know nothing of it. I’m just traveling through.”

He laughed at your answer, clearly amused by your attempt to protect whoever was behind those walls.

“Don’t play dumb, darling. It’s not a good look for you. This can go one of two ways. You either tell us how to get passed those walls and take all your shit, or we claim you instead.”

The other two men, Gerry and Ed, looked over at you as if the second option was more preferable. But, it was your turn to try and play this right; otherwise you or the others behind Hilltops walls would pay for your mistake. “Very well. I’ll show you.”

He gave you an approving look, holding his arm out for you to walk in front of him. They all begin to follow you, eager to bask in the spoils of the Saviors collection that they assumed would be theirs soon. You walked slowly, casting your eyes over your shoulder every now and then, eyeing their leader. They didn’t think you a threat, but that was something that you could use to your advantage. When the man in charge was close enough behind you, you grabbed your knife from your side, twisting around quickly with force enough to slice through his exposed throat. His blood shot out instantly, spraying your face and your clothes as he dropped to his knees. The other men began yelling, but you kicked his body back and into them, slowing them down. You ran forward, wiping the blood from your eyelids so you could see better, not that it did much in this dark.

The sounds of rushed foot falls are behind you, and it increases your speed as you try to navigate the woods. If they caught up to you, that’d be it. Frantic breaths escaped your lungs, and you kept looking back to see if any of them were behind you. Perhaps you were destined to die at the hands of the Claimers, you seemed to be bumping into them enough for it to appear that way.

Just as you were about to turn around a large tree, something under you caught your foot and your body lunged forward into the soil. With a groan, you tried to get up but a painful force kicked into your side making you gasp out. After that you weren’t sure where they were coming from anymore, kick after kick was bestowed upon you, and you cried out in pain as your body ached all over. By the time they stop, you’re whimpering out clawing at the wet earth to drag yourself away from them. But, it was no luck. A weight climbed atop you, grabbing hard at your shoulder and twisting you around until the man was straddling your waist.

“You are some kind of stupid, girl.”

He laughed at you, enjoying the way you waved your arms around trying to gain purchase on anything. His fist connects hard into your jaw, the taste of iron filling your mouth as your skin bust open. Your head was spinning, the pulsing of your skull was growing maddening and you’re trying frantically to shake off the pain.

“The fuck was that?”

You could scarcely hear the vibrations of their voices, and all you could make out was the man named Ed telling Gerry to go check out whatever the sound was.

“Sorry for the distraction.” He laughed out, his hands now coming to rest on your throat as he squeezed down. His calloused fingertips dug into your neck, your trembling hands coming up to claw at him, but all you could do was gasp heavily, gurgling noises leaving your throat as you tried to suck in a breath. Everything was slowly going black around you, and you could feel your fight growing weak. It would seem this is how your story was to end, that was until you felt air hurriedly rush down your throat, making you cough as the need for oxygen became too great.

The man on top of you was looking over his shoulder, his mouth hanging open as he panted out his friend’s name. “Gerry!” He received nothing but a scream in return, and you recognized that as the sound of a man dying. He didn’t move from atop you, he waited patiently to see if everything was ok. Claimers didn’t seem to care too much when they lost one of their own, which didn’t bode well for you. Just when you thought he was going to continue his assault on you, a loud bang rang out and you cried out when his dead weight fell onto you, blood running from his forehead onto your already drenched face. It only takes you a moment to register what happened, and out of fear and disgust you frantically crawl out from under him not looking back as you stumble to your feet and run off. Whatever, or whoever just killed him could be coming for you next, and that wasn’t something you were going to stick around for. By the grace of the gods, you somehow manage to make it back to your camp and in your rush you tore your jacket off and threw it onto the fire to put it out in an attempt to cover your tracks. You grab your bag and limp into the trees, using branches here and there to keep yourself up. Just when you thought you couldn’t take the throbbing pain from your beating anymore, you hear the soft sounds of a current and you make your way over to it.

A river comes into view, and you pick up your injured pace until you’re at its edge. You fall to your knees, catching your breath as you lean forward, cupping some water into your hand and splashing it onto your bloodied head.

“Ahh…”

You moan out, clutching at your bruising sides as you sit back into the grass. With a lot of effort you pull your dirty shirt off, tossing it to the side along with your bag and the rest of your clothes and you carefully slide into the cold water of the river. On these cold autumn nights you’d usually warm some water before bathing, but right now you just wanted to be rid of the stench of blood and death on you. You bring your hands up to wipe at your face, and you look down at them as they tremble. No doubt from the trauma of everything. The dried blood is becoming milky now, red stained droplets running down your palms and onto your forearms as you stood there. But this…this is what you were used to. This was life. This was how the world worked. At least you thought it did. You had lived this way for so long it almost seemed normal, but after being with Negan and sleeping a full night through even just once, having meals there for you whenever, it didn’t quite settle in until now that maybe this wasn’t so normal. There was still other ways to live, and you ran from all that because you were terrified and a coward. You couldn’t once just admit that it was ok to be complacent, if only just a bit. Because, there could be people who look after you and you in turn look after them. Just like it was so long ago with your adopted family after all this had started. Becoming part of a new one was not forgetting the memory of the old, and it didn’t mean you would lose it all again. You could do this, but now maybe it was too late to decide that.

The sound of a twig snapping grabbed your attention, and you stilled yourself in the river. Slowly, you bring your arms up to cover your bare chest, eyeing the knife in the pocket of your jeans that lay on the grass. With a steady breath you reach for it, never moving an inch aside from your arm. But, it was to no avail. The sound of a heavy object swinging against the breeze fills your ears and with a gentle tap, but harsh enough to show the anger behind it, you feel the barbed wire of Lucille cut into your wrist making you wince in discomfort. He had found you.

“You’ve already made one fucked up decision tonight, princess. Don’t fucking make another.”

Though the cuts on your wrist were stinging painfully you made no show of it, you only used one arm to keep yourself decent as you gaped up at him. His face held the most deepest and darkest of expressions you had seen on him, and he glowered down at you from where he stood. He had blood caked onto his jeans, and some of it spotted his leather jacket and you knew now that he was the one who had saved you from the Claimers. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything to him, because there really wasn’t much to say at this moment. There was no excuse you could give, even a thank you for saving my life seemed insufficient. And for all the times you saw the man lash out, he wasn’t right now, you were thankful for that. But, behind those brown eyes of his you could see the anger raging. He brought Lucille back up over his shoulder, and you saw in his other hand a pistol that he placed back into his jeans, no doubt thinking he would find more Claimers around. With a simple nod of his head, he told you to finish cleaning up and he took a seat on a nearby rock, eyes never leaving your naked form.

The awkwardness of the situation wasn’t lost on you, but you didn’t argue with him to turn away right now. Knowing his sour mood would more than likely increase if you spoke. So you just dip lower into the water, until just the tops of your breasts showed through. You wiped roughly at the blood on you, trying to free yourself from as much of it as you could. It took a while for most of it to come off, and with one last dunk of your head under the river you rose back out with a large breath, fingers running through your tangled wet hair as you rid it of the excess water. You turned to see Negan still staring at you, and you can’t help but feel crushed under his heavy gaze.

“Can you please turn away?”

Negan set Lucille down, keeping his hand atop her as he twisted the bat into the dirt. “After the fucking great escape you just pulled? No. I’m not letting you out of my fucking sight. Ever.”

The malice behind his tone was deeply felt, and somehow you actually believed he wouldn’t let his eyes off you ever again, even for a second. With a sheepish stare you watched him, but ultimately ignored your will to fight back. He wouldn’t budge, and with the most awkward of movements you swam over to the edge of the river, covering your chest as you reached for your bloodied clothes. But, a boot came to rest on them, and you tugged at the material as he chuckled darkly above you. The fiery anger was still in his eyes, but there was a flicker of desire burning there too.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you being out in the cold gets you sick?”

A scowl forms on your lips, and you know he’s referring to your obvious nakedness, but you stop trying to retrieve your shirt growing tired of the games he was playing. If he was angry with you, then he could show it consequences be damned.

“Negan I need my clothes!”

He didn’t seem thrilled with the attitude and you felt his hurtful grasp on your arm as he yanked you easily out of the water and up onto your feet, the wet dirt sinking between your toes as you staggered around for balance. And there you were, in all your natural glory before this brooding man, trying in vain to hide your most intimate areas. You dared not meet his eyes, because you could already feel his roguish stare on you. You were so close to him, his body heat was coming off in waves and though you were tempted to curl into it strictly for warmth, you ignored the sensations.

“Look at me.”

His command went unnoted as you stood there covering yourself, mouth tight in a frown as you allowed no expression to be written on your face. The grip on your arm tightened, making you let out a small whine of discomfort, but you still refused to look at him.

“I said Fucking. Look. At. Me.”

With hesitation you steadily brought your e/c eyes up, his hand moving from your arm to your bruised cheek cupping it as he smirked down at you.

“That’s fucking better. Now listen to me, and I mean very fucking closely, you do not ever run off again.  Now I thought you had this clear in your fucking head, but I was wrong. You belong to me. You work for me, now whatever fucking possessed you to pull this goddamn stunt, next time ignore it. Because, if it wasn’t for the fact that you’ve been punished enough already…”

His thumb brushed the bruise on your broken lip as he said this, anger faltering for a minute as he looked at one of the marks those men left on you.

“Hell, I would’ve probably had to do something I wouldn’t like, sweetheart.”

A shiver ran down your back, whether by fear or the cold you weren’t entirely sure. But, you didn’t leave his gaze; in fact you held it as best you could. Not wanting to back down even though every part of you said to.

“May I get my clothes?”

You spat out the words in an unkindly fashion, wanting him to back off from your personal space. He raised his eyebrows and bit his lower lip as he looked down at you, eyes trailing over your body. His grin only grew, making you shift uncomfortably.

“Well, doll I have to say I prefer you like this.”

With a clench of your jaw you spoke your next words with venom. “Get your hands off me.” But it only amused him even further.

“You might run away again.”

“I’m not some child that you need to coddle.”

Negan flashes his pearly whites down at you, backing off only a little. “There it is. That fucking fight in your eyes. I was wondering where the fuck it went. God you are something else, sweetheart.”

He finally lets go of your arm, holding the other that held Lucille out as he let you pass him to get your clothes. You looked him over, as if he was planning something else but you ignored that nagging feeling and walked by him, trying to bury the insecurity that built up from being stark naked in front of another person.

Negan only whistled as you strode by, obviously enjoying the sight he be held. “Damn, darlin’. You sure you don’t wanna be my wife?”

You angrily pulled your bottoms and panties on, buttoning them up as fast as you could. With a turn of your head, you glared at him from over your shoulder. “I’m afraid I’ll have to refuse the luxury of that.”

He laughed deeply in his throat, tilting his head as he spoke. “Damn shame. Although, when I think about it now-“ He walked up behind you, grabbing your dirty shirt from your hands and throwing it off into the water, the current taking it down stream. You were about to argue, but one of his hands came to rest on your shoulder fingers playing with the strap of your bra as he unzipped his jacket with the other. Negan shrugged the item off, leaving him in only his white shirt.

“It would be a complete waste for you to become one.” He placed his jacket over your shivering form, holding it out just enough for you to slip your arms through, and you obeyed only because you wanted to finally cover up completely. You zipped the front up while he pulled your hair out from the back of his jacket, letting it fall gracefully down against the smooth leather.

“Better. You don’t need to be wearing bloody fucking clothing. But, like I was saying doll.” He twisted you around, his fingers gently lifting your chin, trying to avoid the battered parts of your face so he didn’t cause any pain. “You’re far too fucking precious to hide away in a room with all the other women.”

Whether that was a compliment or not you didn’t care. The important thing was it sounded like he’d drop the whole wife business and just let you be, at least a little bit. You moved away from his touch, looking up at him as you grab your bag. “Thank you…for the jacket.”

He hummed at your gratitude, placing his hand on your lower back as he led you forward. “And?”

You knew what he wanted to hear, and though he truly did save your life you didn’t want to say it aloud. But, you swallowed your pride. “And for saving me.”

He laughed, clapping his hands together in victory. “Was that so fucking hard?”

You didn’t respond to him, you only moved forward as he shoved you along only to step in front of you, making you almost bump into him. “Just remember one fucking thing, do this again, and I won’t be so damn nice next time. Am I making myself clear?”

A sigh left you, and you knew that you probably wouldn’t get another chance to escape anytime soon. But, after your epiphany earlier you wouldn’t take it even if you had the opportunity again. The voice inside of you just kept saying to give this life a chance. They weren’t the most ideal of people to take up residence with, but if this was to be your new life then don’t fight it, you thought.

“Yes.”

Negan leaned down, until his nose was practically touching yours. “Yes, what?”

With a bite of your lip, you looked up into his dark eyes knowing he wouldn’t leave you alone until he got the answer he wanted. “Yes, sir.”

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 10!! Finally in the double digits lol Thank you to all who comment!! Especially those who continuously do so, I look forward to reading them and I respond to all of them!! They make me so happy and even if you're the only one left reading this till the end, I will be happy still. 
> 
> Looks like all the pieces are almost falling into place for our dear reader. But, we still got a long way to go before everything comes together :) 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy and please do continue to comment! Let me hear your thoughts!

 

 

The silence you tried to create between the two of you was nearly impossible to accomplish. Negan wasn’t a silent man by any means; it’s as if his voice was his favorite sound in the world at times. Now was no different. But, you did your best to drown him out along the way back to Hilltop. Until you felt his hand shoot down to your own and grab it forcefully from your side, lifting it up to inspect the deep cuts his precious Lucille had made on your wrist.

“I’m sorry, Lucille likes to bite sometimes.”

With a tug you withdrew your hand from his, shoving both of yours into the pockets of his jacket that hung loosely around your much smaller frame. Judging by the smirk on his face he wasn’t all too concerned with your injury, at least not the one he inflicted.

“Just see the fucking doc when we get back. You look like shit. Have you seen your fucking face, sweetheart? Looks like you went a couple of rounds with-“

He stopped his endless teasing when he looked down at you, with your head hung and hair falling over your face in an attempt to hide the pulsing bruises that were forming. You were never one to care for such trivial things, but there was no hiding how bad it was, the pain itself was enough to remind you of that.

“Shit, look I-….I am sorry, sweetheart. That was rude of me.”

His pathetic excuse of an apology only caused you to roll your eyes. “Just stop. I’ll see the doctor; I’ll go back to the sanctuary with you and continue my job. End of story.” Your frustrations with everything were slowly building, and the pain you felt wasn’t helping. You wanted to lie down and just rest, sleep forever if possible.

“No.”

His voice cut through the tension that had formed, and you turned to look at him quizzically not really sure if you had heard him correctly. “What do you mean no? Why even come get me then? I don’t under-“

“You really want to piss me off?” His gloved hands came upon your shoulders, shoving you against a tree causing the smaller branches to shake. “Keep talking, princess. You’re coming back with me, and I’ll assign you whatever fucking position I want.”

His words caught you off guard, but you don’t dare to speak against him. Under these circumstances, his word was final. That grin came back to his face, and he patted your cheek softly as he moved away, throwing your own words back at you before walking off. “Consider it a time out. Until I know you don’t need to be coddled.”

You stood near the tree for a few seconds, eyeing his back as he strode off towards the colony. It shouldn’t be too long till you were both there again, so you just moped in your silence, watching the stars in the sky, trying to distract yourself.

The sun was still down by the time you reached Hilltop, and you sulked next to Negan as the guards opened the gates for you both. The two men who stood there looked at you worriedly, and you realized they must’ve seen the bruises on your face more than likely assuming Negan had something to do with them. But, they didn’t question it, their lives mattered more to them at that moment and you couldn’t blame them.

Negan proudly threw Lucille over his shoulder, smiling at the two men as he walked by them, knowing he was the cause of the apprehension they felt. Once you were on the porch of the large home that sat right in the middle of Hilltop he turned to you.

“Doctor. Now.”

It was the last thing he said to you before heading back into the home, finding his own room and probably nodding off to sleep. It was far too late to bother Dr. Carson and you didn’t really care to make conversation with anybody, or even recall the little adventures you had in the woods not so long ago. With a small sigh, you walked inside sliding your hand up the railing as you went to find a room upstairs. Your injuries would heal, they always did.

“Nice jacket.”

You jumped back when a voice came from behind you, and you whipped around to find Jesus smiling at you from his bedroom door. Although when his eyes darted to the marks that adorned your skin it fell quickly. He practically ran over to you, his hands coming up but not touching you as he tried to figure out what happened.

“Y/N, are you ok? What the hell happened? Did Negan-“

“No! No, of course not. It wasn’t him.” There was no doubt that Jesus didn’t quite seem to buy that, but you smiled at him and moved his hands away from your face anyway. “Really. It wasn’t him.” There wasn’t any need to go into detail, you just hoped he trusted you enough to finally believe you, and thankfully he did.

“At least let me get Carson to look at you.”

His concern for you was charming, but you waved his suggestion off, gesturing towards your outfit instead. “Actually, can you manage to spare some clothes?”

Jesus just looked you over, shaking his head when you ignored the offer of medical attention but relented to your request regardless. “Sure thing. Give me a second.” The man walked back into his room, coming out a couple of minutes later and handing you a pile of clothing. “They’re more for comfort, so they might be big on you.”

“No. They’re perfect. Thank you.” With a grateful smile, you moved to head down the hallway following Jesus’ directions on which room was yours, and he made sure to mention that Negan was right across from you. He was still clearly concerned for your well being, even though he really had no reason to be. But, you promised him anyway that you would keep a distance from the leader of the Saviors if it offered him just a bit of comfort. You pushed the door open to your room, and set the clothes down on the bed as you began to undress. You replaced the jacket with a long sleeve shirt, and your torn and bloody jeans for some fresh sweat pants that thankfully had the strings still attached, otherwise they would fall right off your waist. It was pointless to keep your jeans now, so you threw them in the waste basket that sat at the foot of the bed. With a great big sigh you fell back onto the mattress, the aches in your body roaring back to life as your muscles began to settle into rest. The pain was uncomfortable, but nothing you couldn’t handle, you’ve been in this exact situation before.

You turned to your side, resting your cheek on top of your hand as you tried to fall to sleep but when your eyes locked onto Negan’s jacket, you decided it was probably best to return it to him right now. If you woke up and anyone saw you with it, you can only imagine the rumors that would spread. Even at the sanctuary there were talks of Negan’s female servants taking up his bed with him. It didn’t take much for people to start talking, and you were more than sure that at least one of those women wasn’t sleeping with him. The poor girl was bullied relentlessly though, by the other women all because she took a little too long cleaning his bathroom that day. They assumed the worse about her, and the men didn’t help. In fact, they took it upon themselves to try and proposition the young lady, which you had helped put a stop to. Either way, it wasn’t something you wanted to get caught up in.

You hoisted yourself up, rubbing at your tired eyes before grabbing the leather item and heading outside the room and into the hall. With a glance both ways you quietly went over to Negan’s door, bringing your hand up to knock only to stop seconds before. It was better if you just went in and left it for him, you weren’t in the mood to deal with his banter right now. With a creak you pushed the door open as much as you could without waking him, and you squeezed through. You quietly shut it behind you, sneaking over to the bed to place the jacket on one of the posts but your eyes trailed over to the man. He was laying peacefully on the bed, his normally slicked back hair a mess a top his head. It was so strange seeing him like this, the usual scowl or smirk that he wore wasn’t there, and in its place was just a slight dip of the lips indicating he was asleep. It was like watching him drive all over again, his usual cocky self was replaced by just another man trying to survive this wretched world. You had to wonder if he even knew the difference in himself when he was asleep or focusing on a task. His broad chest rose and fell with each breath, and you suddenly noticed he was uncovered, and in this weather he could easily get cold.

“I shouldn’t…” You spoke aloud, mindfully biting your lip as you eyed the blanket that lied on his dresser. Would it be weird of you to do that? But, really it was a small payment to make in exchange for your life that he saved. You placed his jacket on the bed post, and grabbed the blanket carefully, unfolding it in the process. With a wave of the material you threw it over his body, tucking it against his side before turning to leave. Except that wasn’t afforded to you, a hand shot out and grabbed your wrist tightly, the slight twinkle of dark eyes setting their sights on you as you stared wide eyed at the man. A blush crept up to your cheeks, and you were grateful for the dark of night at that moment.

“I was just…”

A proper excuse wasn’t coming to mind, and you wanted so badly to sink into the ground at this point. You could only imagine how this looked to him, after the attitude you gave him here you were tucking the older man in like he was a child in need of care. So much for a small price to pay, you thought.

Negan leaned up in the bed, eyes gazing over the blanket curiously before a smirk made its way to his face. He studied you for a second, a playfulness glowing in his eyes as he pulled you closer to him.

“And to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”

He was much like a cat playing with his prey, and you planted your feet firmly into the carpet of the floor as he tightened his grasp on your wrist in an attempt to bring you near. This was everything you were trying to avoid not so long ago, and now you were trapped. Negan was much stronger than you, and with an ease he managed to throw you on the bed next to him, and hovered over you with a sly grin. His weight held you in place beneath him, one of his hands holding your wrists above your head as he stared arrogantly down at you. Your eyes never left his as you struggled under him, blushing madly at the position you were in.

“What are you doing?!”

“I could ask you the same thing, princess.”

His voice was deep and raspy from his sleep, but that confident tone was still there.

“I was just returning your jacket.”

You tried to free yourself from beneath him, but his strong hold on you was only growing. His eyes glanced over at the jacket hanging from the bed, and he only seemed to be more amused by that.

“Thanks, doll. It is one of my favorites.”

Your struggled had ceased, and with a quiet sigh you pleadingly looked up at him to let you go. But, Negan only stared thoughtfully at you, not intent on doing so anytime soon.

“Stay with me, sweetheart. I could use the fucking company.”

“What?”

He laughed at the bewildered look on your face, one of his hands coming down to brush at the skin of your cheek as he spoke. “So I know you don’t fucking run off again.”

This was obviously his way of toying with you, and you had to weigh your options carefully. If you stayed it would seem like he finally broke you down, but if you left you were sure he would find another way to torment you. Negan loved nothing more than to prove he was in charge, and lately fighting back only proved to egg him on.

“Come on, doll. It’ll be like the first night we spent together here. You do remember that, right?”

The mischievous look he had on his face only made your blush deepen, and you had to admire his talent for turning every word he said into an innuendo. How could you forget that night? It was the first one you had spent with another person lying next to you in a long time, let alone a stranger. It was entirely uncomfortable and awkward for you, but at least he wasn’t handsy about it.

“Nothing happened that night, Negan.”

With a chuckle, he moved off of you and back onto his side of the bed, the mattress dipping under his weight. “We can fix that, sweetheart. I got all night if you’re willing.”

With a scoff of disgust you moved to get up, but he grabbed your forearm with an amused laugh. “Stay the fuck put. You need to get a fucking sense of humor, sweetheart.”

You looked down at him, trying to figure out if he was playing with you or not. But, you were positive if you offered yourself to him he would take it without question. And yet, he never actually forced you into anything, most of his flirtations were just that, flirtations. So you stayed put, lying back down into the bed but still keeping a slight distance between you two. He seemed overjoyed with your decision, and he settled back down into his side with a smirk, his eyes closing as he began to drift off into sleep. A silence developed in the room, and you laid there for a few minutes until you were sure he was actually asleep this time. His breathing had slowed, and you dared a glance over at him. The first time you slept next to him, the apprehension you felt was high and it took you by surprise that in this instance there really wasn’t any. It was still a bit uncomfortable to be so close to Negan like this, but it wasn’t entirely bad either. Perhaps it was because this very man had risked his life to save you from the Claimers. The first time this happened he had threatened you and took everything you owned from under your feet, but now…now here he was going out in the dark and sticking his neck out for you. Strange how a few short weeks with someone can change your perception of them.

Turning on your left side you watched him as he slept, taking in the way his lips parted just enough to let his breath out, the way his fingers twitched slightly in his dream like state. It amazed you just how different he was in these moments, and you fancied yourself a good read of people but he…he was an enigma. Before walkers took over the planet, a person saving your life left a deep impact, but in this world it meant even more. With little to no resources left, it was a fight to survive so for someone to risk their well being for you, that meant a hell of a lot.

Your thoughts were rudely interrupted by him as his arm came up and smacked you in the face, making you groan out in pain as it pushed against your injuries. You didn’t think he’d be the type to move in his sleep, but so much for that. With a shove you moved his arm away, but he stubbornly kept it on your side of the bed. So you decided to just lay your head on his bicep, hoping you would wake up before him so he wouldn’t catch you like this. The witty remarks he’d make wouldn’t end if he did.

Sleepily, you eyed him, fighting to stay awake as his warmth began to envelope you. It was almost soothing in nature, making you forget the aches you had all over your beaten body. And there was something calmingly familiar about this situation, as a sense of safety flowed through you. A closeness to another human being that you hadn’t quite felt in a while, and it was scary and nice all at once. It was like a time long forgotten in your memories, that you thought you had buried deep away in the recesses of your mind. A time when everything seemed to be perfect, as perfect as this world could get. It came back to you all so suddenly, the memory of your former lover etched into your mind, of his arms around you, his lips brushing against your bare shoulder as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear. Telling you how everything was going to be ok, because he was there. He would protect you. And he had. So many times he had put his life on the line for you, for everyone in your family because he was strong enough to do so. A deep yearning engulfed you, and for a brief second you could’ve sworn it was him lying next to you whilst in your dream like state. You reached a hand out for him, longing to touch his face.

“Rick…”

But, the image you had faded and in its place was the face of a savior, his salt and pepper beard trimmed perfectly against his strong jaw. With a mild sense of disappointed you pulled away, stopping yourself just in time before you got to close to those emotions again. You thought you were over him, but being with Negan like this, it brought back the parts of you that craved the affections of another. But, you weren’t going to get that from a man like Negan. Even if he showed small favors of care, he didn’t seem to be one for affairs of the heart. You sighed deeply, and turned away from him, deciding it was best not to look at him for the remainder of the night.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait!!! Again, thanks to those who commented on the previous chapter! It means a lot.   
> First off, this chapter is not long! It is more of a filler :( I apologize, but I wanted to get something out before the holidays! Hopefully, I can work on the story more next week. It's been hard to work up the inspiration for this, since TWD isn't on till feb, other fandoms have somewhat taken me over lol 
> 
> Either way!!! Please comment! Whether you hated it or loved it, let me know! :) 
> 
> There will be more to come, and far more interesting content in the next chapter, I promise.

_“You being back with us here. Now that’s everything. You’re my heart, Y/N.”_

_Rick’s hand rested on your stomach, nuzzling into your neck careful not to cause you harm as the bruises that the Governor gave you barely started to form. If it wasn’t for your fearless leader who knows what the psychopath of a man would’ve done to you. A smile formed on your lips, and you tilted your head to the side kissing him on the lips as you laid next to him in your prison bed._

_“And you’re mine, Rick Grimes.”_

_He returned your smile, leaning forward and capturing your lips in a heated kiss. Rick pulled away and the smile that had fixed itself on your mouth slowly started to falter as the face before you changed into another. Shocked, you pushed back against the mattress of the small bed eyeing Rick with skepticism._

_“N-Negan?”_

_“Rise and shine, darlin’.”_

You shook your head trying to empty your mind of the image before you, but all that kept coming through was the deep voice of your boss. Slowly, you felt the heaviness of sleep leaving your eyes and a bright light washed over you making you groan in discomfort and annoyance. You smacked your lips together, trying to rid yourself of the dryness of chapped lips as your mind started to awaken, and you began to realize Rick was only a dream nothing more. With a soft moan, you turned on your back blinking your eyes to gather your vision. A chuckle from next to you made you look up, and you turned to see Negan staring down at you with a sly grin.

“Well, Hi there sunshine.”

You squinted at him confused, wondering what he was doing here but the shift of muscles under your cheek made it all too clear. With a scrambled haste you moved back, nearly falling off the bed. Had you slept like that all night? With him? This is exactly why you wanted to be up before him, being caught in such a state was more than embarrassing.

He laughed heartily at your panic stricken face, leaning up on the bed as he stretched his long body before bringing his gaze back to you.

“It’s a brand new day, darlin’. And you don’t even seem to be excited about that. Did I wake you from one hell of a dream? Oh pleeease, tell me I did. Because, I heard you calling out my name.”

Negan seemed beyond happy with the prospect of you dreaming about him, and while you had dreamt of him technically, it wasn’t exactly the type of scenario he was more than likely hoping for. Either way, you weren’t about to go into detail about any of it, you were just glad Rick’s name didn’t escape your sleep. Those were questions you were not in the mood to deal with.

“I wasn’t dreaming of you.”

Negan only scoffed, swinging his legs over the bed as he reached for his boots to put them back on. He spoke over his shoulder as he shrugged his favorite jacket back on. “Whatever you say, sweetheart. But I know what my name sounds like rolling off a woman’s tongue.”

It was almost impossible for him to be even remotely serious. With a roll of your eyes you mimicked his movements, turning till your legs hung off the bed and you readied yourself for the day. You just had to get back to your room first to change, so you hoisted yourself up shuffling across the floor before a hand grabbed your arm.

“Bring me some breakfast, sweetheart. Make sure it’s still hot.”

Your eyebrows knitted together in uncertainty, trying to process what he had just said to you. He couldn’t possibly be serious, could he? He was a grown man, more than capable of getting his own food. You got it, you fucked up and now you lost your position as a savior, but surely he wasn’t insinuating…

“Excuse me?” You said, tugging your arm back to your side as he rose to his feet. With a zip of his jacket, he angled his head towards you, not even concerned with your tone. “There are rules, sweetheart. Nothing matters if you’re dead.”

Rules were a big part of the Savior community, and being that you had broken them it would seem he was delivering your punishment. But you had to wonder if being his personal servant was better than death. It hardly appeared so, considering you had gotten to know the man.

“You can’t be-“

He held his hand up, grabbing Lucille as he walked towards the door stopping just next to you and dipping down till his lips were level with your ear. “Holy crap, is this you fighting me once again?”

Even though there was a hint of amusement in his tone, the threat behind his words were clear. You couldn’t risk another blunder. When you didn’t respond, he smiled down at you before heading out the door, uttering one more order as he sauntered down the hall.

“Remember, I want it to still be piping hot.”

Hot breakfast, he had to be joking. Like that was an easy thing to come by now days. Part of you wanted to ignore his request still, but your much smarter half was nagging in the back of your mind to take it all in stride. After all, he wasn’t wrong about one thing. Nothing matters if you’re dead. With a defeated sigh you headed across the hallway and into your room, stuffing some belongings into your bag and pulling on your boots. You just wanted to get out of here, the sooner the better. It was almost shocking to believe that you missed your room back at the sanctuary now, but you had manage to make it your own enough to find a small comfort in its space. With a heave you pulled your bag over your shoulder, checking the side pocket to make sure your phone was still there. With all the commotion of last night, you didn’t even think about it falling out, but thankfully it hadn’t. You exited the borrowed room, heading down the stairs and thankfully running into Jesus on the way out.

“Oh perfect, just the man I wanted to see.”

The long haired man turned to you, blue eyes shining against the rays of light that shot through the porch doors. He offered you a greeting before turning back to the many Saviors that occupied the front field of Hilltop.

“How did you sleep?”

You shrugged your shoulders, a hint of a blush creeping onto your cheeks as you recalled your night with your boss. Somehow, you managed to do the opposite of what Jesus had asked of you, but he didn’t need to be made aware of that. So, you blew off his question with a cliché answer, hoping the man would buy that.

“Not bad. Say, you wouldn’t happen to have a plate of breakfast ready would you? Preferably still hot.”

Jesus swung his head towards you, eyebrow raised in question at your request. “Not…really. Why?”

“Just hungry is all.” You couldn’t bring yourself to tell him you were a glorified maid now. He wasn’t the type to judge such things, but somehow you still didn’t want to risk his disappointment. However, he didn’t seem to care about your excuses, he only appeared more worried for your well being. He walked over to a closet, looking around before opening it up and pulling out a small box hidden behind some large ones.

“Here.”

Jesus reached into the box, pulling out some protein bars and handing them over to you.

“Not exactly hot, but better than an empty stomach, right?”

He never ceased to amaze you, and honestly his kindness was wasted on you. This was for Negan, and if he knew that you doubted he’d be so forthcoming with them. You almost felt bad for the slight betrayal, but food was food and it was better than going empty handed to your boss.

“Thanks, Jesus. I owe you one.”

He waved you off, brushing a hand through his long locks as he walked with you outside. You could tell he was bothered by the presence of your new group, and you couldn’t begrudge him that. They were taking his community’s stock, reaping the benefits of his hard work. Deep down you wanted to apologize to him for what seemed like the hundredth time, but he always just gave you a smile knowing you didn’t really have anything to do with Negan’s orders.

You placed your hand on his shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly as he stared on in annoyance.

“I’ll see you around, Jesus.”

He nodded at you, concern in his blue eyes like there always was whenever you were around Negan or his men. But, he didn’t try and stop your retreat, only lifted his hand in farewell, watching as you walked over to the set of trucks at the gate. When you reached the vehicle’s side you ran your hands over your face in exhaustion, also trying to hide the very obvious bruises that adorned your face. It would seem no one was even aware of your little prison break last night, and that’s how you wanted to keep it. You pulled on the handle, placing a foot onto the leverage as you watched Negan speaking to Simon about some of the many boxes they needed to pack up, no doubt their weekly collection of supplies from the colony. You scarcely wondered how Hilltop even managed to feed the many people who took refuge here, with how many supplies Negan was taking from them.

“Get in.”

You glanced behind you not even noticing Negan had snuck up on you while you were transfixed on the Savior’s collecting supplies. He edged your door open more, hand shoving at your back as he pushed you into the truck and onto your seat. Fighting back wasn’t an option anymore, so you obediently sat against the leather seats, watching as he got in through his side without a word, starting up the truck and heading towards the exit. He looked eager to leave this place, and truthfully Negan gave the impression that he didn’t care for any other place but the sanctuary when it came to comfort. But, you had to imagine the room he had back home was much more comfortable than the one you had spent the night in.

You blushed at the memory, feeling a bit sheepish at how easily you had given in to sleep next to him. It was the second time you had made a fool of yourself in that respect, but the warmth he let off was just too comforting to ignore. Strange how past sentiments could still be affecting you today. All you need is a warm body, and you’re basically putty in anyone’s hands it would seem.

“Darlin’, I sincerely fucking hope you didn’t fuck your job up already.”

His deep voice cut through your thoughts, and he looked over at you as he switched his gaze between you and the road ahead. Thinking quickly, you reached into your bag, rummaging through its contents until you found the protein bars Jesus had given you. You held out your hand to him, offering the packaged food as if it was a delicacy.

“Here you go. Best I could do on such short notice.” There was a hint of sarcasm behind your tone, but Negan only looked down at your hand unimpressed by the snack. This was probably why he missed the Sanctuary, better food. He rubbed his beard in mild annoyance, trying to hide the fact that he was in fact starving by now. God forbid the leader of the Saviors show any form of basic human desires that didn’t require sex. It was these moments that made you question his priorities.

“You’re a shit fucking servant, you know that?”

It was hard to stifle the small laugh that wanted to escape, because even though this job was hardly a dream come true, being able to annoy Negan was a bit of a perk in your eyes. It was minor payback for all the dirty comments he made towards you at every chance he got.

None the less he reached for the food, tearing it open with his teeth and taking a bite out of the bar. He chewed mindfully at it, eyes never leaving the road as he held it out to you. With a blink of confusion, you slowly reached out for it wondering if he wanted you to toss it out or something. It couldn’t have tasted that bad. You took the item from his hand, turning it in your palms before glancing over at him.

“Don’t want anymore?”

“Fucking eat some, doll. With all the work I have waiting for you, you’re gonna need the energy. I promise you that.”

You weren’t sure if that was meant as a show of concern coming from him, or just Negan being a dick about things like he usually was. Either way, you were grateful for the meal. You took a quick bite, passing it back over to him as you both took turns eating it. You could only hope he was being a bit dramatic about the work load, and yet your gut was twisting into a knot at the thought of it. Something inside told you this was probably going to be worse than any beating a Claimer could give you.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas!!! lol I didn't think I'd be updating so soon :) So I am happy I can. 
> 
> HEADS UP. This chapter has some smut. (No not between 'you' and Negan haha) But, if that's not your thing (it has woman on woman briefly) skip like the last few paragraphs lol 
> 
> As always, please comment if you can! Next update should be around tues-thurs.

A couple of weeks had gone by since you returned back to the sanctuary, but to you it might as well have been months. You couldn’t even venture a guess on what time of day it was half the time, sleep was few and far between for you now. All the thanks could be given to Negan for that though, and you silently cursed the man for everything he was putting you through lately. Ever since you had left Hilltop, it was nonstop work for you. You were at his beck and call. In fact, ever since you started catering to him, none of his regular workers even went in and out of his room like they used to. Frankly, it was hell and you wanted out, death was even starting to sound like the better option to you.

With a heavy hand, you scrubbed at the front of his boots, polishing out the scuff marks that decorated the tops of them. You sat against the wall of his room, wiping the sweat from your forehead every now and then. This was degrading, even by apocalypse standards. How he even thought you could finish this amount of work was beyond you, and yet you didn’t doubt this was on purpose. He had a lesson to teach you after all and at first you agreed with him in a sense. You broke his rules, you pay the price. Fine, that’s great and reasonable. But, after weeks of this crap you were past understanding his reasons. Now Negan was just having his fun with you. With a grunt of annoyance you threw the brush down, knocking his boots together and placing them to your side as you leaned back against the wall tired. Your exhausted eyes scanned over his elegant room, mentally check marking off the tasks you had already completed. Negan had you clean his room top to bottom, and you took it upon yourself to even go the extra mile of organizing his library and papers on his desk. If it got him to lay off even a bit it would be worth it, you figured. The only part of his room you hadn’t bothered cleaning was the actual bedroom. The doors that led into it were locked shut almost all the time and you had never even been in there, but you were beyond grateful for that. The thought of cleaning up after him and his wives after one of their many relations, well that wasn’t something you were up for. You shuddered at the image of how messy his bedroom probably was, sheets scattered on the floor and bodily fluids in places there didn’t need to be any.

But, scrubbing his toilet and shower till your fingernails wore down wasn’t exactly a walk in the park either. Humiliation seemed to be the punishment he wanted to bestow on you, and if that was in fact the case then he had accomplished that. The options in front of you were simple enough though, and you had told yourself many times to just take this with a quiet sense of dignity. And since you were already sitting here on the cold floor, dirt and sweat stuck to your skin, practicing grace wasn’t so hard. But, you were so tired it had been hours and hours of chores he had assigned you, and every time you thought you had finished one another would pop up in its place. God, how you regretted ever running off to begin with. Thinking back on it now, it was an entirely stupid decision made on a whim.

You sank back into the wall, shoulders sliding down it as you attempted to rest even for a second. Everything was sore, and your fingers were rough and aching by the time you had finished his boots. What was the point of even polishing the damn things, it’s not like he was meeting the Queen of England or something. He was just going to wear them again, and go out on a run and get them mucked up in walker guts. The thought made you cringe, you had worked so hard to make them neat and shiny and he was probably, or intentionally, going to shove them into dirt again.

“He’d probably do it right in front of me too…” You spoke aloud, venting your frustrations to the quiet walls of the room.

You crossed your arms over your stomach, letting your eyelids flutter shut for just a second. It was just to rest your eyes, you told yourself. It’s not like the chores were going anywhere, a short minutes nap wouldn’t hurt you, and you’d be up by the time Negan returned from a run with his men.

 Cold flooded through your veins, jolting you from your nap as you slammed hard into the wall behind you. You cried out, body stiffening from the discomfort as you looked over yourself. Your clothes were soaked, and your hair stuck to the sides of your face as you wiped away the water from your cheeks.

“Wakey, wakey, sunshine.”

With a shiver you glanced up to where the voice was coming from, and Negan was standing over you with an empty pot in his hand. His lips were curled into a grin, eyes roaming over your wet sweater for a second before bringing them back up to your own.

“It’s about dinner time, darlin’. So why don’t you get your pretty little self up and get me some.”

Dinner time? That can’t be, you were only asleep for a minute. At least that’s what it felt like. You looked over to the windows in his room throwing your head back in disappointment when you saw nothing but darkness outside. That nap had turned into hours of sleep. Just great, you thought. Now you were hopelessly, hilariously, behind on all your chores. The few hours of sleep weren’t even worth it, you still felt exhausted.

A yelp broke from your mouth as a force gripped the back of your sweater, picking you up easily off the floor and pushing you into the wall. Your eyes widened in shock when your back connected with the hard surface, and you stared with slight confusion at Negan when he grinned down at you.

“Anything you want to say to me, sweetheart? Because, if not then I suggest you hurry the fuck up.”

Would it kill him to have at least an ounce of patience, you thought to yourself. All you wanted was one damn minute to enjoy being alone, and relaxing. You don’t even know how many hours, collectively, you slept these past weeks. Clearly, it wasn’t enough either way. With a nod, you headed to his door entering the hall and softly shutting it behind you as you made your way towards the kitchens. You just hoped someone was still working in there, the last time you went late everyone was already gone and you had to prepare his meal by yourself. Needless to say, he wasn’t thrilled with the outcome not to mention how late his meal was. Not wanting to risk a repeat, you picked up your pace and jogged down the stairs only coming to a stop when you ran into Amber, one of Negan’s many wives.

She halted her movements, and looked at you as if contemplating her next move. Her blonde hair fell over her face, and her blue eyes studied you with interest. She crossed her arms over her chest, fingers idly playing with the hem of her black dress. Her constant staring was putting you on edge, so you started walking again, offering her a small smile before you could fully pass her.

“Tiffany feels threatened by you, did you know that?”

Amber’s words caught your attention, and you turned back to look at her as you ran a hand through your now wet hair. “What?”

Amber flicked a piece of lint off her dress, not really paying much attention to you as she continued speaking. “She says you’re trouble for us. That Negan likes you, probably more than us because you’re always around him. At first I believed her, but looking at you now…” Her judgmental gaze ran over your body, lips twisting into a frown as she took in your tattered appearance. You were hardly a lovely sight right now, you knew your sweater was dusty and caked in your sweat, leggings tearing at the knees from having scrubbed Negan’s floor all day, and hair now a mess thanks to him. But, did she really need to try and start something right now? You didn’t have time for this, Negan was probably counting how long you were gone already.

“Well, looking at you now I don’t see why she was scared. I guess you really are just his maid.”

You rolled your eyes at her, not even trying to hide how annoyed you were becoming. For a bunch of women who shared a husband you’d think they’d be less of the jealous type.

“Amber, I don’t have the time for this. So, excuse me.”

Taking the high road was something you had gotten rather good at when it came to his wives. Tiffany was the worst of all, and dealing with her almost daily now days had made you almost a master at blocking the majority of their comments out.

“Amber, lay the hell off her.”

Surprised, you turned around to see Sherry walking towards you both, cigarette hanging from her lips. She removed it from her mouth, blowing out a puff of smoke as she pointed towards the stairs, gesturing for Amber to take her leave now. “Come on now, time to go.”

Amber rolled her eyes at Sherry, but obeyed the older women without a fight. You had come to learn that Sherry was kind of the boss when it came to all the other wives, and whether they hated her or not, they did respect her.

“Thanks.”

Sherry nodded at you, giving you a quick smile before taking another drag from her smoke. “No problem. Excuse them, they’re just the jealous type. They don’t realize that taking on this role is more for survival than actual love. But, you know how women can be.”

She wasn’t wrong about that. Sherry was the only one of Negan’s women that didn’t care for him in the slightest. She only took on the role to protect Dwight, at least that’s what Jared had told you. Ever since then you found it hard to even look Dwight in the eye. The poor fool, having to watch your wife be around another man every day couldn’t be easy.

“I should get going, thanks again though.”

Sherry eyed you curiously, but put her cigarette out on the floor as she waved a goodbye and headed back up towards the wives room. With a turn of your heel you hurried down the hall, turning a few corridors before finally arriving to the kitchen. A relieved sigh was all you gave after seeing the chef still there. The older man smiled at you, waving you over as he grabbed a prepared tray of food he had made. Over the past weeks you had gotten to know Jonathan, he was the head chef around here, and at first he was a bit rough around the edges, but with a few kind words and pleasantries he had warmed up enough towards you.

“Hey, kiddo. Already got one for you.” He slid the tray over the counter, and you grabbed it with a grateful smile.

“Thanks! Sorry, I can’t stay though.”

Jonathan laughed, wiping at some dirty dishes as he shook his head. “I know. Hurry along.”

With a smile you picked up the tray, practically running out the door and up the stairs until you were settled in front of Negan’s doors again. There was a slight crack at the door, and you took that as your sign to just go inside, so you turned around and pushed your back into the wood shoving the door open and shutting it behind you before turning towards Negan’s desk.

“Oh my god…”

You dropped the tray as the words left your mouth, the sound of the metal hitting the floor ringing against the wallpapered room. Right in front of you was a sight you really wish you hadn’t come upon. Tiffany’s breasts were pouring out of her dress, spaghetti straps hanging from her forearms as Negan’s hand pawed eagerly at them. He had her bent halfway over his desk, and her nails dug into the edge of it as he thrust forward, his hand gripping the hem of her black outfit, hiking it up just enough to allow him access to her intimate areas. His other wife, Amber, was lying flat against the wooden surface legs spread wide as Tiffany held her thighs down, lapping generously at Amber’s clit. The younger woman was arching off the desk, hands tangling into Tiffany’s hair as she worked her over.

“Oh daddy…” Tiffany purred out between Amber’s legs, mouth hanging open as her eyebrows knit together in pleasure. Negan seemed pleased with her cries, and he pulled her hair roughly as he brought her up and against his chest, fucking her harder as he spoke.

“That’s my fucking girl, taking it like a goddamn champ.”

With a sound of disgust you quickly turned around, trying to erase the image of Negan bending Tiffany over his desk, and Tiffany practically buried between Amber’s legs from your mind. But, god was it a hard one to wipe, you were going to be scarred for life now. It was only then that the three of them were even remotely aware of your presence, and all Negan did was laugh loudly, and judging by the moans coming from the two women in front of him he didn’t stop what he was doing.

“Well, fuck me princess. Didn’t see you there.”

You highly doubted that for some reason, he could’ve closed the door properly, but you had a feeling he wanted you to walk in on him. Negan pulled himself from his wife, and you could hear the faint sound of a zipper and a belt buckle as he strode over to you.

“You were a little fucking late on the dinner, darlin’. So, I had to satisfy my appetite somehow.”

You could hear the goddamn smirk in his voice, but your cheeks burned none the less at his risky statement. This only furthered his teasing, and you felt his hand grip your shoulder as he tried turning you around to look at him. But, with all your might you stood your ground too angry and too embarrassed to look him in the eye after what you just witnessed. Negan sighed at your stubbornness, instead opting to move in front of you as he continued speaking.

“What? Not your thing, sweetheart? If you’re more agreeable, I can arrange for them to get the fuck out of here.” He leaned down, his dark eyes now leveled with your own. “And you and I can screw instead.”

That was all it took, you slapped him hard across the face not even an ounce of regret in you. He deserved that one, and while his little game with you for the past weeks had been somewhat tolerable, this most certainly wasn’t.

“Go to hell.” You spat out, the anger in your eyes never faltering when he corrected himself and looked back down at you. He didn’t seem the least bit bothered though, and a smirk made its way to his lips as he pulled away. Amber and Tiffany had gone completely silent by this point, both of them eyeing you and Negan with a hint of fear.

“Wow…you know,” Negan rubbed at his cheek, soothing the slight sting you had left with your hit. “I’m about fifty percent more into you now.”

With a scoff, you pushed passed him, swinging the door open and breaking into a run down the hall, not caring about the mess the dropped tray had left, or even if Negan was going to punish you later for taking off on him.

Negan watched as you ran out of the room, his smirk instantly disappearing upon your retreat. He licked at his lip, pushing his door shut and walking over to his desk where his wives were. He took a seat on the couch, rubbing his hands over his face as he eyed the two women. Tiffany, now pleased that you were gone from the room walked over to her husband, hips swaying seductively as she took a seat next to him. She ran her fingers down his chest, hand working at his belt as she kissed at his neck.

“Daddy, forget about her, you got me and Amber right now.” She pulled his belt from the loops, throwing it to the floor as she curled a finger at Amber, beckoning the younger woman to come to them. Amber slid off the desk, smiling as she took a seat on the opposite side of Negan, her delicate hands coming to rest on Tiffany’s breasts. She brushed her fingers over the woman’s nipples, delighting in the way Tiffany moaned. The women leaned over Negan’s lap, lips connecting into a hot kiss that usually got Negan going. And yet, the man only eyed them both with disinterest, his mind occupied by another for the moment. He didn’t like the way you had looked at him right now, there was something akin to hatred in your eyes, and that didn’t sit well with him. He was a man used to getting what he wanted, and the fact that you fought him at every turn not only spurred him on in the right ways, but also pissed him off to no end. You drove him endlessly crazy ever since you arrived at this place, and he couldn’t quite understand why. But, in his eyes you were his, and he wasn’t about to tolerate you running off again.

Amber moaned into Tiffany’s mouth, hands roaming over her chest and down to her heat. She rubbed at the older woman’s clit, laughing happily as Tiffany threw her head back in pleasure. Ever since Amber became a wife, Tiffany had taken her under her wing, and the two of them had started this odd relationship with one another. The benefit of it, well that was taking most of Negan’s attention from the other women in his harem. This always worked on him, and even in the rare moments when he wasn’t in the mood for any company their little show always set him off in the right ways. 

Negan pushed at both women, shoving them out of his way as he got off the couch. Amber and Tiffany looked at him in surprise, and he only ignored their whines of disapproval as he walked towards the door, retrieving his jacket on his way out. He stopped just in front of the exit as he zipped up, looking down at the spilt food and drink for a second before gazing back at his wives.

“Clean this fucking mess up, and then get the hell out.”

Both women stared on in utter shock, none of them saying a word as Negan left the room with a slam of the door.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucky number 13! Thanks to those who commented, and read the last chapter. Please enjoy. Not sure when the next chapter will come, I am starting a new job soon and will probably be very busy.
> 
>  
> 
> That being said, let me establish a timeline for you all. This is currently taking place before Negan even knows of Rick’s group! They haven’t attacked the compound yet, but we shall get there eventually.

The first snow had finally fallen to the ground as autumn turned into winter, and you sat just outside the sanctuary walls eyes set towards the large angel statue that adorned the field, signifying the Saviors. Snow had begun to collect atop its head, crowning the stature in a halo of white that somehow made it seem more ethereal. You rubbed at your arms for warmth, not really thinking about grabbing a jacket before heading outside. But, you just had to get away from Negan, from that room where the smell of lust hung thick in the air. There was no way you’d ever forget that sight, and you were so angry at him for having placed you in that situation to begin with. What exactly was he trying to prove, anyway? Was it his twisted way of trying to show you what you could be missing? Because, you thought he laid that crap to rest a while ago.

In truth, Negan had let up on some of his flirting ever since you all came back. Granted, the chances of him bringing it down to complete zero were slim, but regardless he did leave you alone for the most part. If anything, he seemed to be spending more and more time with his wives, holed up in their room for hours on end. You had spent so much time around him though, over the weeks, and it had made you feel extremely uncomfortable. Ever since you had that small moment at Hilltop, where Rick had taken over your mind again, it was awkward being around Negan. Every time you looked at his face, you half expected Rick to be there. Just seeing him was bringing back old feelings you really didn’t want to deal with, but you couldn’t exactly tell Negan that. You knew you had a tendency to be snippy with him sometimes, but it wasn’t something that could be helped. He just made you think of Rick, and every time he’d lean too close, or brush his hand against your cheek or hair whenever he was flirting, all it did was make you miss your ex.

“I’m such an idiot…” Your words fell on the wind, hand coming up to rest your chin on your cold palm. You had to wonder how you ended up at this point, projecting old emotions onto Negan, as if he could be a surrogate for Rick. Maybe that’s why he made you so furious. Whenever you’d look at the man you wanted nothing more than for him to turn into Rick, so everything could go back to the way it once was. But, that was impossible now, and Negan could never be half the man your old leader was.

“You’re a smart girl; tell me what I should do with you. Considering you just love taking off on me, sweetheart.”

You looked up to see Negan standing in the snow, his boots weighing the ice down as he strode over to you. His face was unreadable, but all you could feel was this uncontrollable anger that boiled inside. After days and days of putting up with him, and being subjected to unwelcome sights you just wanted to punch him square in the jaw. But, you settled for a less harmful method. With a fistful of snow, you threw your hand forward, hitting Negan right in the face with a decent sized snowball. It was hardly threatening, but you weren’t stupid. Hitting him for real would’ve resulted in unwanted punishments, so this would have to do as far as venting goes.

Negan growled in slight annoyance, wiping at his face with his gloved hand as he kneeled down next to you. “Goddamn, you’re adorable. Was that supposed to fucking scare me?”

You straightened up, trying to give off a look of defiance. “I am so sick and tired of you treating me like shit.”

Negan let out a breath of a chuckle, rather impressed at your stubborn nature. He rubbed thoughtfully at his beard, finally slapping his hands to his knees as he got back to his full height. “Come on, get the hell up. I’m freezing my goddamn balls off out here.”

You looked at him incredulously, there was no way you would just get up and act like the past hour hadn’t happened. He can feel entitled all he wanted, but you weren’t going to give in.

“No.”           

He turned to look at you, his frustration growing even more when you stared at him like that. With that same look you had given him earlier. He didn’t know why it bothered him this much, but god you were going to be the death of him.

“Ohhh hell no. Do not mistake my willingness to let you live as a reason to act this fucking stupid!”

With every word his voice grew in volume, eyes beginning to get that rage in them that you hadn’t seen in a while. But, the apprehension that you felt still wasn’t enough to make you back down this time.

“I’m a goddamn person, Negan. Is it so much to ask to be treated like one?!”

He laughed at your question, pacing back and forth in the snow until he stopped angrily in front of you.

“And is it so much to ask that you stay the fuck put and not run off into the damn woods at night?”

His words took you by surprise, not because he was bringing that up again, but because he looked genuinely hurt by the fact that you did it.

“I should fucking kill you for all of this. I don’t enjoy hurting women, sweetheart but you are getting me dangerously fucking close to doing it.”

 You took a step back from him, trying to keep his anger at a distance. And while you understood the reasons behind his icy gaze towards you, it still didn’t give him the right to act so cruel all the time. There was no need to hold a grudge anymore; you had liked to think you proved yourself a trustworthy person these past weeks. Aside from the occasional snide remark, you didn’t do anything to earn his anger.

“Then fucking kill me! Go ahead!” You shoved at his chest, trying your hardest to egg him on. At this point the both of you guys were filled with resentment, each having your own reasons and frustrations you wanted to place on the other. Negan only growled back, but he never lifted a hand towards you. And you could see the way his jaw clenched tight, the muscles in his face setting as he tried his hardest to compose himself.

“You have no idea how much you fucking piss me off.”

With an annoyed grin, you shook your head at him, returning his sentiments. “I could say the same for you.” You turned on your heel, heading back up the road and towards the sanctuary to get some much needed sleep. But, Negan wasn’t done with you yet. You heard his foot steps behind you, a hand coming out to grab at your arm as he twisted you back around. You tried to pry yourself from his grasp, but in your desire to get away the heel of your shoe caught the icy edge of the road, making you slide clumsily against the snow. In your effort to catch your balance you tugged on Negan’s jacket, pulling him down with you as you collided hard into the white cold ground. A gasp left your mouth when you felt the cold engulf you, goose bumps rising on your skin as your body tried to protect itself. It was at least two feet of snow that had fallen, and Negan’s body weight on top of you wasn’t helping the matter.

“Son of a bitch…it’s as cold as a warlock’s ball sack.”

Negan pushed against the ground, the slight crunch of the snow being heard as he leaned up. He looked down at you beneath him, taking in the way your face reddened from the sharp bite of the freezing temperatures. He could tell by the glint in your eyes that you were still angry, but he wasn’t about to let you get away so easily. He wasn’t used to his people, or anyone for that matter, talking back to him. The very aura he let off was one that demanded respect, and when you constantly denied him that every chance you got, it drew on his last nerve, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t find it even remotely endearing especially since you were a woman. 

You stared up at him, gnawing at your bottom lip as you tried to shove him off of you. But, he was too heavy for you to move, so you sunk back into the ground with a desperate look on your face. You could see the hard line of his jaw softening, the rage he had earlier slowly dissipating. He never took his eyes off of you, and this staring contest you both had going didn’t seem to be ending anytime soon. It was like you both told each other what you wanted to say through your glances, all the anger and disappointment coming off in waves. He hung his head for a second, a deep sigh falling from him as he spoke.

“Damn…Holy hell, sweetheart. Look, I just…it’s easy to forget that you’re just…”

“Another human being?” You cut him off, still eyeing him with a faint flare of irritation. Negan didn’t answer you back though, and you wondered if his comment was even meant to be sincere. You shifted under him, the cold was beginning to sink into your sweater making chills run up your spine and it was becoming very uncomfortable. But, he still wouldn’t move he only kept his eyes planted firmly on your face, regarding you with a sense of interest.

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or anything. I was just screwing around this whole time.”

Fancy way of saying he was being an utter jackass about things, you thought. But, when you gazed into his dark eyes, you almost wanted to believe he was actually apologizing. “Just forget it.” You said, wanting to just put all this behind and move on finally. You both had said what you needed to say, and at this moment there wasn’t anything more you could do. It was beginning to get unbearably cold, and you pushed gently at his chest to get him to move. The only warmth provided to you was what was left of your own body’s reserves and that of Negan on top of you, his torso lingering a little too close.

He didn’t budge though, and all you could do was stare up at him suddenly transfixed by the way he was looking at you. There was a mix of many emotions behind his usually dark eyes, and it was hard to decipher exactly which one he was truly feeling right now. However, you had come to recognize those flickers of desire that pooled behind them, because that was always there whenever he looked at you. Ever since you first met him. But, now there was something else lingering in the back, one you couldn’t quite place your finger on. Slowly, he began to lean down his eyes never closing, but they were becoming dangerously half lidded as he grew closer to you. The panic inside of you kicked in and you started moving under him, trying to crawl away from his advances. Whatever you were doing wasn’t working though, and you shut your eyes tightly, turning your head to the side as you willed him away. A very audible squeak fell from your lips, when you felt his own hot ones plant a kiss on your cheek instead of his intended target. His stubble scratched at your soft skin, a very familiar heat forming on your face at his action.

How on earth did he think this was the proper time, or even proper at all, to be trying to steal a kiss from you? Women must have thrown themselves at this man all his life for him to think a simple kiss was enough to woo your heart. But, judging by the number of women he had in his harem your theory wouldn’t be wrong. And you remembered what you had walked in on, his actions towards you becoming even more unwelcomed when you reflected back on Amber and Tiffany.

Your eyes were screwed tightly shut, and the moment the heat of his lips left your cheek you popped one eye open, darting it up to the side to peek at Negan. He was staring down at you curiously, as if he too was trying to figure out what just transpired between you two. From a distance, you had to guess this looked extremely compromising, but you were grateful no one was out at this time. But, he was soon climbing off of you, offering you his hand to get up. He seemed somewhat disappointed, and you had to venture a guess that it was his pride that was severely damaged.

When you didn’t accept his kind offer, he pulled his hand back scoffing at your denial. “Still want to fucking fight me on this shit?”

You assumed he was referring to the apparent attraction he felt between the two of you. With a bit more cruelty in your voice than you intended you spoke.

“There’s nothing in this world that I could possibly want less than you.”

Negan didn’t seem affected by your words, and if he was he hid it well. He only gave out a small laugh, mouth setting into a frown as he started walking off towards the sanctuary. You watched him grow smaller in the distance, your heart finally settling down from that experience. With a shaky hand, you brought your fingertips up to touch the spot he had accidentally kissed, memories of Rick flooding back to you as you sat there confused about everything. 

 


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, but here we are! Happy New Year to you all, and I hope you enjoy this chapter. We are getting into the nitty gritty of our dear Reader's emotional dilemma. Is she still in love with Rick? Or is there something else working it's way into her heart...or someone else? We will find out eventually lol 
> 
> Work is kicking my ass, and for those of you who read my last chapter notes, know I got a new job. It's tons of stuff to do, and I'll be out of town most of next week for work as well. Can't say when I will update again, but from the looks of my schedule it'll most likely be done on Friday's.
> 
> As always, comments and kudos are greatly appreciate and I hope this chapter is ok.

The Savior’s statue, at least that’s what you had named it, was slowly becoming your favorite spot in this entire place. It was isolated, and no one ever really came down here. It was nice and quiet, and almost every day you had come down here to finish your work. Ever since that night with Negan, he had eased up on you, putting you in charge of inventory instead of maid duties. The very next day he had called you into his room, and you were expecting him to scold you, or worse. Instead, he just handed you some books and told you to look over them. He hadn’t said much else after that, and even though he had been less than kind to you for a while, you felt like you should’ve apologized for what you said to him. You were always far too kind to people who didn’t deserve it, but you had to tell yourself he truly did need to know how you felt, even if you weren’t sure of what exactly you felt to begin with. Everything was just so confusing for you now.

You looked down at the composition book in your hands, marking down some numbers from the last run. Even though you were wearing gloves, the cold still bit through, and you could feel your fingers stiffening around the pen. Still, you’d take this weather and the isolation over being inside the sanctuary. It didn’t help that your room was so close to Negan’s and his wives. Every time you had to head out for a meal, or work you had to look both ways outside the door. The last thing you needed was to face Amber or Tiffany, especially after seeing the latter face deep in the other. You cringed at the memory, really not over the fact that you had to bear witness to it all.

“I set you up in a nice fucking room, and instead I find you playing winter wonderland.”

Your heart sped up when you heard his voice, and you could feel your muscles tense. It wasn’t like you hated the man, but ever since that night you tried to avoid him. There wasn’t any kind way to put it; it’s just that…well, being around Negan was beginning to feel odd. Whether it was because he kissed you on the cheek, or because he reminded you of Rick, you weren’t entirely sure yet. You just knew it made things feel extremely awkward now.

“I just like it out here better.”

Negan scoffed at your remark, and you instantly turned your gaze to the leader of the saviors. His appearance took you a bit by surprise, because he wasn’t wearing his usual leather jacket. Instead, he opted to put on a long coat that hung around his larger frame rather nicely. The tail of his coat belts flew in the biting wind, and it was so odd seeing him in it. Apparently, even Negan could get cold.

“Did you run the numbers?”

His tone turned serious now, and with a sigh you pushed yourself off the ground and leaned against the statue. “I’m almost done with them, don’t worry.” With shivering fingers you plucked at the snow that clung to your hair, eyes meeting his for the first time in a while. His features were set in an unreadable expression, but as he walked over to you, you could see that twinkle behind his eyes that he always got around you. It would seem your words from the other night were not enough to quell that desire he had. It almost made your chest tighten with a semblance of guilt, because you couldn’t put out the fire he had for you. Whatever he wanted from you, even if it was as simple as sex, was not something you could give the man.

Negan stopped just in front of you, eyes trailing over your figure before reaching forward. You tensed when his gloved hand came closer, your breath stuck in your lungs, and yet all he did was grab the edge of the composition book from your hands. He pulled it from your grasp, dusting the snow off the cover before flipping through its contents, face falling instantly once he read your work.

“Are we this fucking low on food?”

With a sympathetic look, you nodded. It wasn’t news he wanted to hear, considering it was his duty to feed and house the people here. But, you couldn’t lie about something like this. However, seeing him disappointed by that fact surprised you. He truly did care for the people here, in his own twisted sense of way.

“Fucking shit.” You watched as Negan rubbed at his beard, brain probably storming for some bright ideas on how to fix this issue.

“Listen, I can go out on a run, it’ll be easier for me if I go alone. There’s a chance-“

Negan’s hand came up to silence you, and you’d be lying if you said his look didn’t scare you. The anger building behind his gaze was enough to shut even the bravest of people up.

“Not one fucking chance are you leaving this goddamn place.”

He roughly closed the book, rubbing at his temples in frustration before speaking again. “I’ll figure it the fuck out. We’ll just do some collections early. Split the food halfway.”

Deep down you knew it was the only option presenting itself right now, but taking from the other groups was always something that didn’t sit well with you. Mainly because it didn’t really feel like sharing, like some of the other Savior’s so delicately put it. But, this wasn’t your place to rule.

Negan was about to walk off, but he turned to look at you, his curios gaze venturing up and down your body as his mouth dipped into a scowl. “You look like fucking shit, sweetheart. How long have you been out here?”

Though you took offense to his comment, you elected to ignore it this time in favor of responding. “A couple of hours at least.”

“Your face is fucking red, and you’re shivering like a goddamn stray dog. Get back inside, and that’s not a fucking request.”

You shuffled your feet in your boots, wanting so badly to stay out but he was going to wait right there until you complied. These are the moments that made this place feel like a prison sometimes. With great reluctance, you moved towards him satisfying him enough that he began walking ahead of you making you work extra to catch up with his longer strides. You watched him from behind, wondering if he was truly hurt by what you said the other day. Surely he wasn’t though. This was Negan after all, he couldn’t possibly be that easily offended. Your eyes shifted to the belts of his coat, just focusing in on them as they flung around. It was a nice coat, and you had to admire the way it hung around his form. It made him look more distinguished than usual.

“It looks good on you.” The words flew from your mouth before you could truly think them through, and as soon as he turned his head to you, smirk in place; you knew you were going to regret it.

“Was that a goddamn compliment?”

With a groan, you started picking up the pace, attempting to walk ahead of him and away from his smug expression.

“Forget I said anything.”

Negan only chuckled, his arm coming to wrap around your shoulders and bringing you closer to him. It was enough for you to feel the warmth seeping from his body, his breath breezing over your cold cheek, and in this weather it was oddly comforting.

“Come on now, doll. Looks like I’m starting to fucking grow on you. About mother fucking time.”

With a soft push to his chest, you rid yourself of him, shooting him an annoyed look. But, Negan was always nothing if not persistent. He easily caught up to you, his hand coming to rest on your shoulder as he led you inside the sanctuary. Every time one of his men would pass, his grip would tighten around your shoulder, and you knew what he was playing at. Yet, you didn’t fight him on it this time, it’s not like you had an interest in anyone here. Hell, better yet if some of his men did finally leave you alone. Sometimes, it was endless cat calls and wolf whistles with the lot of them. They may be loyal to Negan, but damn did he know how to pick the douche bags that were left in this world.

Negan led you around a corner, his hand never leaving you as he led you upstairs now. It was in the direction of all your rooms, and you vaguely wondered what he wanted. If he wasn’t going to let you go on a run, he could’ve left you outside to complete the rest of your work he bothered you about. You both stopped just in front of his room, the large doors shadowing over you and making you take a step back.

“What are we-“

“Holy shit, sweetheart. Fucking relax will you?”

When you looked up at him in confusion, he sighed in annoyance. He reached forward and opened his door, shoving you inside and locking it behind him. “I was freezing my fucking balls off outside, we can finish this shit in here.” He lifted the book in his hand, and headed over to his desk taking a seat on the leather chair he had.

It was a bit awkward standing there, and you looked around the room to occupy yourself. This wasn’t where you wanted to be right now, and there he was propping his boots on top of the desk as he flipped through the book again. How could he act like this? You almost envied his ability to not trouble himself with past events. Or maybe you were making a big deal out of nothing now…And yet, you were still mildly angry at him for whatever reason.

“Make us some tea.”

You turned to look at Negan, his gaze fixated on the pages in front of him as he pointed towards his kitchen. It was a bit annoying being told to do so, but you had to admit something warm did sound nice right now, so mostly for your benefit you obliged. You sifted through his cabinet for a kettle and were surprised to see he had many different flavors to choose from in his tea selection. But, considering the itch in your throat you had been getting, you went for chamomile. As the kettle of water warmed over the fireplace in his room, you kneeled down next to it that itch in your throat coming back. You held your palm over your mouth, suddenly coughing harshly against it.

“Ugh…” You wipe your hand across your pants, retrieving the kettle and moving to the counter. You gazed in Negan’s direction, only to find him already staring at you intently.

“Wh-What?”

Negan throws the book onto his desk, clasping his hands together as he leaned forward on it. “Don’t fucking tell me you’re getting sick? Fan-fucking-tastic.”

“No, Negan. No…I’m fine.”

You knew he was worried about something spreading around the compound, but after the issue with the food shortage you figured he didn’t need to worry about this. It really wasn’t anything serious, you thought. The cough had been developing over the last few days, but nothing you couldn’t handle. His gaze stood on you for a second, as if he was contemplating your answer, but when you stopped coughing and waved him off he decided not to argue. Which you were more than grateful for. You poured the tea into two mugs, looking around his kitchen for honey but with no such luck. You supposed his room couldn’t hold all the treasures of this planet.

“Here.” You placed his cup on his desk in front of him, taking a seat across from Negan as you took a sip from your tea. The warmth of the liquid going down your throat made you sigh, and you leaned back into the chair enjoying the heat of the cup in your hands.

Negan grabbed the mug, taking a large gulp before combing through his files he kept on the other groups he took from. You both sat there in silence for a while, and all you could do was watch him as he tried to find a solution to his problem. It must be hell being him sometimes, you thought. Negan had to take charge of everyone here, and considering just how many people that was, you felt bad for him. Maybe you could let up on some of the anger you were holding for him, and just stop taking everything he did personally. Even though you were sure he meant it to be so, because this was Negan you were talking about.

You sniffed as you held the mug up, the steam easing the congestion you were starting to feel. The pressure behind your forehead and nose was building, and it was taking every ounce of your strength not to cough or sneeze in front of him.

“There’s no goddamn way we can make a run.”

Negan’s voice cut through your thoughts, and you glanced up to see him lean back in his chair with a grunt. The frustration behind his eyes was building, and you placed your mug on the desk as you moved forward to grab the book. Every page that you turned only made your own worry rise, because truthfully this amount of food would not last the winter. Really, the only option was to go out and forage or, unfortunately, take from the other groups. You placed the book back onto the desk, and ran a hand through your hair as you looked over at him.

“Look, Negan your men’s trucks won’t be able to make it through the snow right now, even the larger ones. And sending too many people on foot is risky, I get that.”

Negan rested his cheek on his palm, his eyes trained on you as you tried to plead your case to him.

“But, you can afford to let one person go and-“

“That ain’t happening.”

“But-“

“Don’t fucking ask me again.”

He said it with such a finished tone that you didn’t bother saying what you wanted. He wasn’t going to budge, and all you could chalk it up to was that he still didn’t trust you enough. But, you so desperately wanted to regain whatever trust he had for you before, because then you could be back out there and actually helping instead of sitting around all day jotting down numbers.

“Look at you.”

Negan ‘s deep voice quickly gained your attention, and you set your eyes on him as he leaned forward towards you. He brought a hand up, fingers reaching out to brush the fallen strands of hair from your flushed face. The fever you were getting was bad enough, but when his roughened fingertips grazed over your cheek the heat on your face only got worse. He smirked at you, not missing the way your cheeks reddened against his touch.

“So desperate for me to trust you. Well, sorry to disappoint you sweetheart but I don’t.”

He didn’t need to say it, because after the day you took off you already knew he no longer held any faith in you. But, if you could convince him to let you go on a run then maybe he would start to again. The trick was getting him to agree to that. If only he was as easy as Rick to convince.

The feeling of his warm palm against your cheek made you look up, and all too suddenly you were remembering the kiss. The way his lips felt against your cheek, that he was now caressing softly, in a very caring manner that was so unlike Negan and yet you were certain he didn’t mean anything by it.

“Listen, sweetheart. Don’t go getting any ideas about hopping those fences, and heading out on your own. Because, if you try anything stupid like that again, I won’t be so fucking nice anymore.”

Your eyes came up to meet his, but you didn’t respond. You simply stared at him, not really sure what was going through your own head. All you knew, was that the feeling of his hand against you was making your heart wrench, and you’d give anything to make it go away.

“You’re not him…” It was barely a whisper that came out, but Negan was able to hear something.

“What did you say?”

With widened eyes, you pushed off the chair and his hand fell from your face as you backed up against his wall of books in your haste to remove yourself from this situation. Negan just eyed you oddly, browns knitting together as he tried to figure you out.

“I didn’t…” The words wouldn’t come out though, and you felt the sweat from your fever dripping down the back of your neck. Whatever he was doing to you, you just wanted it to stop. Being sick wasn’t helping any, and between your own physical fatigue, your mental state wasn’t doing so hot either.

Negan let out a breath, his back pressing firmly against his chair as he tilted his head with a grin. “Well holy shit. You’re remembering that kiss aren’t you, darling?” He laughed heartily, grin widening into a full blown smile when he looked at the panicked look you had on your face. “You are, aren’t you? Oh, this is perfect! All this fucking time brushing me off, only to now be getting all hot and bothered about a fucking kiss.”

With every word he said you could feel your emotions boiling. “It was just a kiss on the cheek, hardly worth meriting any praise!” You bit back, still lowering your voice just enough so no one walking the halls could hear.

Negan only continued laughing though, and he seemed even more amused when you pushed yourself away from the book case and headed towards the door. “Oh come on now, sweetheart! I’m just busting your balls.”

But, you didn’t bother listening to him anymore, because if he wanted to revert back to being an ass then he could do that alone. There was no need for you to be part of it. By the time you reached his door, his laughter had died down, and Negan only turned in his chair as he followed your retreating form. He squinted his eyes at you, his own mind trying to figure out the very enigma you were.

 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

With a slam of your bedroom door you entered your room, and you paced around for a good minute trying to rid yourself of the frustration you felt. It never failed for him to find some way to get under your skin, and you could pretend you were patient but now with someone like him that was very hard to do. You plopped down onto your bed, closing your eyes as a wave of dizziness overcame you.

“Just fucking great.” You spoke aloud, wiping away the small beads of sweat that formed on your heated skin. A shower was all you wanted, and after having stripped yourself of your clothing you walked into the water, leaning against the tiles of the walls as the cold water hit you. Whatever this illness was, you just hoped it’d go away soon because Negan was already enough to have to deal with.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thank you as always, to those who comment and like. Please enjoy!!! Again, as timeline goes, this is prior to Negan even meeting the Alexandrians. (We won’t be getting there for a while!) As most of you know, this is a slow burn…like slooooowww burn, because I love Negan slow burns lol But, hey I updated!!!
> 
> Anyway!! I didn't read it over like I usually do so if there is mistakes I am sorry....I did use spellcheck though! Lol

Negan had decided that your idea of going on a run alone was probably the best bet for his people, and when he had briefly mentioned it to you a few days ago you were beyond ecstatic. That was until he said Simon would be the one to go. You weren’t sure if he had planned to upset you on purpose just to gloat, or if he had actually cared that you weren’t up to your full health. Not that you admitted anywhere along the lines that you were sick. No, that you kept all to yourself and tried your damnedest to hide it. So, here you were standing just outside the compound twiddling your thumbs as you waited for Simon’s truck to pull up to the gates. Aside from him, he had only taken another man with him just in case. You only hoped their journey proved fruitful.

The sound of exhaust filled the air, and you quickly got to your feet and watched as a single truck arrived at the gate, the two men overhead waving them on through. With a bit of discomfort, you walked to the front entrance shivering just a bit as the wind picked up. The weather still needed some improvement, but it had been worse weeks ago. As soon as Simon pulled up, he rolled down his window, eyeing you with slight annoyance as he took in your appearance. Your nose was bright red from having blown it so much, hair messy from not really taking the time to make yourself presentable, and the coughing and sneezing didn’t help much either, but even so there was a mild sense of concern in his eyes.

“I’m fine.” You whispered back, waving your hand at him as you jumped into the truck to get the stuff from the back. But, as soon as you stood in the bed of it, your head felt extremely heavy and a sudden dizzy spell took over, your foot gave out from under you and with a thud you had landed harshly on the snow covered ground. The sound of Simon laughing was all you could make out, and he exited the vehicle with a smirk before walking up to you. He extended a helping hand your way, and even though you were miffed about him finding amusement in your misgivings, you took it.

“Thanks.”

“Don’t go dying on me, sweetheart.”

“Yeah, yeah…” Over the time you had spent here, you came to actually somewhat bond with the older man. He still had some less than redeeming qualities, but he was a decent friend well enough to joke around with you.

Simon only smiled in response to your attitude, and he lifted you easily off the ground as he looked over his shoulder. Negan was coming from the Sanctuary, still a bit of distance away from you two to hear Simon’s next words.

“Damn. The hell did you do to him?”

With a quick glance at Simon, you raised your eyebrow in question. “What are you talking about?”

The savior chuckled softly, letting your hand go before Negan saw. He gave you an amused look, and somehow you guessed his next words would be directed at the whole Negan situation.

“Even I’ve never seen him scowl so much. Deny him access to that sweet little pussy between your legs?”

A huge blush fought its way to your cheeks, and you were more than embarrassed by his bluntness even if you had thought you’d gotten used to the way the men talked around here. You couldn’t even begin to recall the number of times you heard ‘pussy bar’ thrown around.

“Shut up. It’s not like that.”

Negan was so obviously attracted to you. Hell, the man didn’t even bother hiding it. He was a man with a flare of confidence that most women would’ve died to flock to. But, you on the other hand longed for more romantic relationships when it came to men, and still…you were hardly such a win that it would bring a man like Negan to his knees begging. Although, the imagery of that was rather hilarious to you.

“Whatever you say, gorgeous.” Simon tilted his head with a smirk, eyes betraying his words as he seemed more than amused. “You really haven’t thought about it?”

“Thought about what?” With a sigh, you leaned up against the truck, blowing into your hands for warmth.

“Fucking him?”

It was like a punch to the stomach, and all you could do was look up at your friend with the most ridiculous stare. How could he…why would he even think of asking such a thing? It’s not like you walked around flaunting yourself in front of Negan, begging to be taken like one of his damn wives. You didn’t want him at all in reality, so for Simon to ask that was just nonsense.

“W-what?! No! Why would you even think that?”

He only scoffs, as if he doesn’t truly believe the words you’re saying. “Oh come on, don’t you get even a bit lonely some nights? Your hand can only do so much, trust me.”

With a disgusted sound, you shoved your hands into your pockets. Negan wasn’t a bad looking man, you had already established that in your mind, and as you’ve thought before if you had met him prior to all this death and despair you would’ve entertained the idea of something growing between you two. But, sex wasn’t so important now days and you were more worried about being bitten or shot in this world.

“No. He’s not my type.”

Wasn’t completely a lie, but not the complete truth either. Simon only grunted in response though, and for some reason it was getting to you that he didn’t believe you at all.

“Alright, sweetheart. I’ll bite.” Simon spoke, his arm coming to rest on the edge of the truck bed. “If you’re that into me, I’ll be down for a good screw.”

A laugh was all you gave him, knowing he was joking with you. The man loved to flirt, just like most of the men here did, but he never meant it when it came to you. When the laughter had died down, you finally managed to speak up, asking the question that had been nagging at your mind.

“Why are you laughing, anyway? I thought he was your friend.”

But, your question only made him laugh more like it was the funniest thing he had heard in a long time.

“Honey, Negan doesn’t have friends. He has workers. Am I fond of the guy? Sure. Do we exchange gifts on birthdays? Fuck no. I’m a loyal worker to him, and he returns his gratitude by giving me whatever the fuck I want. It’s business.”

With a glance over his shoulder, he makes sure Negan is still out of earshot, and he lowers his voice. “But, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t find it even a bit fucking funny that he finally can’t get what he wants.”

You smiled up at him, mainly because you were amused, but also because you could understand his thinking. When it came to his men, who had no doubt lost some of their wives to Negan’s charm, seeing their leader finally denied such things was almost a delight.

“Negan.”

When you heard his name come from Simon, you turned around to see the men around you kneeling, and even Simon bowed his head a bit in acknowledgement. It was something you never participated in though; it was a ridiculous notion in your opinion. They really took this whole savior thing seriously, as if Negan was Christ resurrected. Negan never question you though, and truthfully it didn’t even appear as if the kneeling was his idea to begin with. He had many rules, but you never heard him strictly speak about that one.

“Please fucking tell me you brought me something good, Simon.” Negan walked up to you both, a smirk twitching at his lips when he looked over to you, his gaze eventually landing on his worker.

Simon nodded, patting the truck with a satisfied grin. “Sure did. Managed to find us some canned foods, and a hidden cache of ammo.”

It didn’t sound like much, but it was enough to please Negan for now. After all, anything was better than turning up empty handed after being out there for a few days.

“Take it to the back to be counted, and stored.”

Simon nodded at his boss, gesturing to the other men around them to start grabbing boxes. But, since you weren’t doing much of anything you volunteered to finish the inventory, since it was your job.

“I can do the counting, Simon. Don’t worry about it.” You were just about to head off into the direction of the garages, but Negan’s arm came down to block your way, his hand brushing against your side.

“I asked Simon, sweetheart. Not you.” He looked at Simon, nodding over towards the garages, and without question he obeyed Negan shooting you an amused look before walking off. You looked up at the taller man, giving him a questioning gaze. Sometimes Negan made absolutely no sense in his actions. One day he’s on you for not performing your duties up to his standards, and the next he’s stopping you from doing them.

“Why are you-“

“Have you fucking seen yourself? You might as well be one of the goddamn dead.”

You cleared your throat, trying to play off the sweat that was dripping down your forehead from your fevered skin. “I think it might just be allergies or something. Seasonal changes. That’s all.”

“Don’t fuck with me, Darling. Your goddamn face is all red, and unless you’re suddenly feeling hot and bothered around yours truly, then you’re getting a fever. And the last fucking thing I need is for some shit to spread around and killing people off.”

With every word he spoke you found yourself becoming annoyed, simply because his concern wasn’t actually placed in you but that of the compound and his precious employees. Not that you wished harm upon any of them, but would it kill him to actually worry about an individual. It wasn’t that you were special, or anything of the sort, but maybe it was you overly romanticizing your relationship with him into that of a friendship. Even if he pissed you off time to time. But, it would seem you weren’t as ‘close’ to him as you had thought.

“It’ll go away. It’s nothing serious.”

Negan clicked his tongue in frustration, his eyes glaring into you as if he wanted you to realized how dumb you were being. But, it wasn’t in your nature to take it easy, and a little cold wasn’t about to bring you down. “It’ll go away, ok? Your kingdom won’t be worse for wear. Promise.” You admit there was some bitterness behind your words, and you cut him a bold look as you began walking away.

“Go see the fucking doctor. You’re starting to make a fucking habit of needing medical attention.”

An offended scoff left your mouth, looking back at Negan as he followed you into the Sanctuary and up the stairs towards your rooms. “None of those incidents were my fault. In fact, your men are the ones who put me in stitches, or did you forget that?” Before he could argue the point you opened the door to your room, so you could change out of your muddy and snow soaked clothes. Negan, however, didn’t let things go so easily, and he pushed hard on the door as he followed you inside. His sudden entrance caught you by surprise, and you watched in disbelief as he strode his way across the room, pinning you between your bed and his towering frame.

“Listen, sweetheart. The fact that you’re still fucking kickin’ is a blessing by me. Now, like I’ve told you a hundred mother fucking times before, stop with the attitude. Because, every day that goes by is making me question why I bother with you at all.”

You didn’t bother responding, what was the point of doing so? Negan was always right, according to him anyway. He would find a way to spin his men attacking you into it being a god send. But, your silence was weighing heavy around you both, and he was quickly becoming agitated with it. He took another step forward, dark eyes glaring down at you, and you could tell he was trying his hardest to wind you up like he always did. And it was working perfectly in his favor. His very presence was making you squirm internally, and you wanted him to just give you space because right now you felt suffocated with emotions you couldn’t begin to understand.

“Negan…” His name left your lips before you could even think of a proper response, but it was enough to gain his interest, and enough to make him take another step closer until your butt was pressed into the edge of your mattress. He was inching so close to you that you could hear the sound of his breath, even the smallest shift of his leather jacket caught your attention.

Negan stared down intently at you, his eyes taking on an even darker shade as he brought a hand up and shoved you hard onto the bed. With a slight bounce, you were splayed before him, your eyes wide and cheeks stained a soft red as he practically purred his words out to you.

“Every goddamn time you piss me off, you manage to make me remember why I keep you alive, sweetheart.”

You didn’t move, you didn’t speak, and even though every part of you screamed to run and hide, you just couldn’t. It was like you were paralyzed with unknown feelings, and curiosities. But, the more it came down to it the more you realized that you simply were paralyzed with the utmost confusion.

Negan licked at his lips in a predatory manner as he took the sight of you in, his breathing becoming a bit labored with every inch of your body his eyes roamed over. There was something about you sprawled across the mattress, hair a mess, that just drove him mad in every way. You could see the gulp he took, his jaw tightening as he did everything in his power to control himself from just taking you there. Because, if he wasn’t obvious about his attraction before, well…the bulge growing in jeans was enough to go by. The bed dipped under his knee, his hands gliding up the silk of your sheets as he leaned forward, bringing his body to climb on top of you. Before his other boot could come off the ground, the door to your room pushed open, and a younger boy walked in.

“Sir…”

The young man stopped in his tracks, and he looked at you two with an embarrassed expression. With a start he turned away, giving Negan ample time to climb off of you and straighten his jacket out.

“What the fuck do you want?”

Though his voice was steady, you could tell Negan was close to losing his temper and you felt sorry for the young man. But, to you this was a blessing in disguise. You quickly climbed off the bed and stood just behind one of the posts of the frame as you watched their exchange.

“Uh…Simon asked me to come get you. For the inventory and-“

Negan strode over to his employee, grabbing the boy by the collar of his jacket and dragging him roughly along. “Get the hell out.” He shoved him outside your door, before slamming it and turning his attention back to you.

With a frightened look, you grabbed onto the bedpost trying to use it as a shield against Negan and his advances. Not that it stopped, he was standing right in front of you in heartbeat, and his current ‘predicament’ hadn’t changed. You could feel the weight of his lustful gaze on you, but you didn’t dare meet it. With a bite of your lip you stared down at the floor, focusing on the tile instead of the sound of his breathing. But, the silence only made it worse, and you could almost hear the sound of his tongue running along his lip as he spoke.

“I don’t know what the fuck is keeping you from giving in to your feelings, darlin’. But, I’m not wrong. I see it in your goddamn eyes.” The tone of his voice deepened, his lips now coming down to align with your ear, and his hand placed upon yours as he squeezed them. His touch made you anxious, and you suddenly forgot what it was to breathe. “I can smell the arousal on you. Fuck, yes I can. And even if you can’t understand it yourself…you most certainly motherfucking will soon enough.”

Oxygen didn’t come back to you until his hand left yours, and with a smirk and a wink he left you like that, mind a scattered mess, and heart a beating disaster.

 


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys! I updated! Like 3 times this week, how amazing. enjoy!!! I'm getting married next saturday omg

There was moments, sometimes, when you’d look around the sanctuary and think this could work. That somehow you could live among these people, and just learn to do what you hadn’t done in ages: Relax. But, more often than not those unachievable goals would remain just that, because with a leader like Negan around your time here was more stressful than you expected. You spent days avoiding the man, and even when you did capture his eye from down the hall you instantly took off, your nerves getting the best of you. It’s not like you didn’t have a good reason though, because after the other day you were dead set on never looking him in the eyes again.

“So how did being Negan’s maid go?”

Jared’s voice fell upon your thoughts, and you looked up from your work to blink at him in slight confusion. “What?”

Your friend laughed at your dazed state, rolling his eyes as he lifted the wood palette to place on his market stand. “His maid…you know, what your job was literally like a week ago, have you even been paying attention?”

A small laugh left your lips and you apologized for zoning out on him, it’s just that your current attention was occupied with a certain savior. “Well, if you must know, the highlight of that duty was probably being traumatized when I caught him with not one, but two, of his wives.”

The sound of Jared’s laughter filled the common area, and you couldn’t help but laugh along with him. You had managed to make peace with that memory, or more like throw it into the dark corners of your mind where you kept all traumatic events from springing up again.

“Two? Oh, let me guess…little miss ‘daddy’s girl’ and Amber?”

“God, am I the only one who didn’t know what they did behind closed doors?!”

Jared just chuckled, running a hand over his face as he tried to contain his amusement. “Look, it’s no secret what tricks those two women use. If anyone’s in love with Negan, it’s them two. They’ll literally do anything to keep his attention.”

You raised your eyebrows in understanding, giving him a knowing look as you lifted some more items onto his stand. “Kind of wished I knew that before walking in on them.”

“Oh come on, it couldn’t have been that bad. I mean, give me details here. I’m currently working with nothing.”

“You actually want details? What is it with men and girl on girl…?”

The sound of Jared working stopped and you looked up to see him smirking at you. His hand was resting on the top of the booth, and he twirled the hammer around in his hand.

“Who said I wanted details about them? I was thinking more along the lines of our ever so brooding leader.”

A laugh was all you could muster, and you opened your mouth to respond but there wasn’t much that you could say. Somehow, you feel as if you should’ve caught on to Jared’s orientation, and yet it just didn’t occur to you. But, the fact that he found Negan attractive was pretty amusing to you. You didn’t peg him for the dark and dangerous type.

“Are you asking me to describe his….” You waved around your own intimate area, referencing it in place of Negan’s.

“Yes. Yes, I am. And please, do not leave any details out.” He grinned at you, hammering away at the center of the stand to set up his shelves. “There are slim pickings here, and if I can live vicariously through you then I will take it.”

His smile was contagious, and you bit your lip as you tried thinking back on that time, all for Jared’s sake. But, truth be told you never saw any part of Negan. In your flustered state you had wasted no time in turning away. “Honestly, I didn’t see anything. I turned away before I could catch a glimpse of anything I didn’t want to see.”

He clicked his tongue at you, stopping his work to shove playfully at your shoulder. “Yeah. Whatever. Don’t pretend you don’t find him even a bit attractive.”

Why everyone kept insisting on something between you two, was beyond you, but Jared was a friend and you feel you could open up to him a bit more than the others.

“I never said I didn’t, it’s just not like that.”

Jared looked over at you with interest, picking his gloves off and reaching for the apples next to him. He tossed you one, and lifted a hand up towards you as he asked for you to continue your explanation. With a quick bite, you chewed on the fruit wiping some of the juice off your lips as you spoke.

“Look, I…before I came here, way before, I was with a group of people.” There wasn’t much need to go into too many details, and as always you felt this overwhelming desire to keep the fact that you had a brother secret. Talking about him to anyone just made his loss feel all that more real. “Anyway, there was a man that I…we were in love.”

Whether he was expecting that answer or not, Jared didn’t seem surprised. He only offered you a sympathetic smile, taking a seat against the counter as he listened intently to your story.

“I’m just being sensitive about the whole thing, and for some reason Negan reminds me of him sometimes, and I just find myself freaking out about it, and it hurts. It’s as simple as that, and I don’t know how to stop it, because believe me I wish I could.”

“Damn…did he..?”

You shrugged your shoulders, face falling into a deep sorrow as you thought about Rick, and the others. There was no way they survived the attack on the prison, and if they did something else probably got to them. “Pretty sure he is.”

“Sorry.”

Though he didn’t have much to say, you knew it was genuine, and you smiled at him and shook your head. It wasn’t his fault, and it was the past now, maybe letting it go is what you needed. But, you couldn’t possibly just let yourself forget about him, or your brother, or any of them. You were with them for so long that they became your everything. How does a person come back from that? With another bite of your apple you contemplated over your thoughts, holding the apple firmly in place with your teeth as you worked on organizing Jared’s new goods. However, the man was being awfully quiet, it was rare he’d go even more than a minute without talking. You looked over at him, blinking confusedly as you watched him kneel to the floor. With a glance around the common room you noticed the few other people in here doing the same. Eyebrows scrunched in wonder, you turned around to see who they were staring at only to come face to face with dark leather. You trailed your eyes up until they landed on the smug face of Negan, his eyebrow cocked in arrogance.

“What in the almighty fucking hell are you doing down here, doll? I can’t fucking find you, and I have to resort to asking fat Joey where you wandered off to this time, and here I am finding you skulking about the marketplace.”

All you could do was stare up at him, too caught up in the fact that he’s here to form a coherent response. But, it felt much like a child being scolded by a parent the way he was talking to you.

“Come on. We have business to attend to.”

Before giving you a proper chance to answer him, he reaches up and grabs the apple from your mouth, smirking at you as he takes a bite of it and walks off, knowing you’d follow closely behind him. You turn to look at Jared, who’s mouthing for you to hurry and leave, which you reluctantly do.

*****************************************************************************

The walk through the halls of the compound was awkward, and you kept stealing glances towards Negan as he walked ahead of you. You suppose avoiding him could only last so long, but still did this really have to happen. Your day was going so perfect earlier, and then of course he’d find some excuse to seek you out.

“I got a job for you, sweetheart.”

You instantly picked your head up, eager to hear what he had to say. Perhaps, this wouldn’t be so bad at all. So far he hasn’t brought anything up, and his face looked serious enough.

“Yes?”

Negan stopped in the middle of the hallway, Lucille hanging over his shoulder as he looked down at you. “There’s gonna be another run soon, and I-“

“I’ll go.” Anything to get out of here for a bit, you thought and yet Negan didn’t see it that way. In fact, your little interruption only made him chuckle.

“And I need you to start preparing some supplies for Dwight and Simon.”

As soon as those names left his lips, you felt your stomach tie into a knot of annoyance. If he wasn’t going to let you go, then why bother even saying anything? Simon and Dwight were more than capable of gathering their own supplies, and it’s not like they could do much in this weather. Simon was already lucky to have found some food, let alone ammo.

“Why?”

Negan ran a hand over his face as he started walking away again, the sound of his boots hitting the floor echoing off the concrete walls. “Your job is to do whatever the fuck I say. Without question.”

“Look just let me go! I can do it-“

A gasp was pulled from your throat when a hand shoved you against the wall, Negan’s ever threatening gaze fixed on your face.

“Without. Question.”

Negan liked to pride himself on being a reasonable man, and yet when it came to you it always felt like reason was out of the question. But, you weren’t stupid either, and arguing with him wasn’t going to get you anywhere. So you just stood quiet, eyes focused on the wall in front of you instead of his face that was just inches from your own. His hand still lingered on your chest, and the heat of his palm against it was starting to become uncomfortable for you. Negan wouldn’t budge though, and he watched you carefully as he considered your nerve to speak against him, like you always did. But, the sound of your breathing distracted him, and he looked you over once before moving away.

“You’re still sick, sweetheart.”

You swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat, and with a shaky breath you shook your head at him. “It’s nothing. The cough has been going away.”And it certainly felt like you were getting better, at least for a while. But, even though the cough truly did die down your fever had been on and off, and your head was constantly pounding with a headache. The medicine you managed to get from the marketplace wasn’t enough, and it only lessened the headache you had for a couple of hours at best. But, you had had the flu before many times, and this felt no different. It was only worse because you didn’t have an endless supply of medical help at your disposal.

Negan didn’t bother pressing you though, and he eyed you cautiously for a second before lifting Lucille back onto his shoulder. “Excusing the fucking fact that you’re feeling like shit, I’m not sending you back out there. You got some mighty big balls to fucking ask though. But, let’s retrace our steps, shall we? I don’t trust that pretty little ass of yours beyond these walls.”

Every word that came out of his mouth just made it sound like he was getting annoyed with you all over again for your past indiscretions. But, he couldn’t treat you like this forever. Before he could walk away again you grabbed his shoulder, turning him around and looking at him with a sense of purpose.

“You can trust me!”

Negan simply stared at you, regarding you with a look you couldn’t quite understand. But, behind his brown eyes you saw contemplation, and you had to hope that he would finally stop this nonsense and treat you like one of his men. With a quieter tone, you let your hand fall from his shoulder and instead reached for his hand, holding it in your own gently. There wasn’t a particular reason you did it, but in that moment it felt like the right thing to do.

“You can trust me.”

His hand didn’t close around yours, it didn’t even so much as twitch at the sudden contact but you could tell something different had sparked behind his eyes. And if it wasn’t for the sudden wave of nausea that hit you, you would’ve asked him what was wrong. Instead you felt the weight of the world fall on your shoulders and you blinked constantly, desperately trying to regain your composure. You could hear Negan calling your name in the background, but your mind was so heavy with fever that you ignored him. Something warm began to trickle down your lip, and just as you brought your hand up to wipe at it Negan swatted it away, and instead placed his gloved hand to your upper lip wiping at the blood that fell from your nose. He looked at it then to you with a concern in his eyes that he didn’t even bother trying to hide this time. The sight of the blood made you confused, and you looked up at Negan before your legs gave out under you and you fell forward, only for him to catch you just in time. His strong arms wrapped around your weak form, and you could hear him curse as he lifted you up and against his chest.

There wasn’t much you remembered after that, it was just a rush down the halls until the door of your room slammed open and you felt the soft sheets of your bed curl around you. Your body was begging for sleep by this point, and you fought it as much as you could. Negan was standing next to your bed, his hand covering his beard as he debated what to do with you. All you heard was doctor, and be right back but you grabbed the edge of his jacket before he could run off.

“No…no doctor. I’m alright…”

“Alright? Are you fucking kidding me, sweetheart? Have you goddamn seen yourself?”

His tone was serious, and he looked down at you with disbelief. He was more than impressed by your strength and willingness to move on, but he wasn’t going to risk whatever you had spreading around killing people off, nor was he going to let you die because you were too stubborn to take his gracious help. By this time though the fog in your mind began to lessen, and you groaned as you shifted in the bed trying to sit up.

“Truly…I’m fine, Negan.”

You felt his hand squeeze yours softly, and you looked down to see yours still clutched in his when you reached for him. A blush erupted on your face and you snagged it back without looking at him. You bit at your nail in embarrassment before looking away and lifting your hand up to him.

“Thanks…but, I’m…I’m ok.”

The air in the room became heavy with uncomfortable emotions, and you tried to pretend he wasn’t still standing there with his intent gaze locked on your form.

“You really do have a goddamn death wish, darlin’.”

Negan sighed as he leaned against your dresser, placing Lucille next to him on the floor as he crossed his arms. “So you’re just gonna fucking bleed from your goddamn nose and faint, and act like this is completely fucking normal for you?”

“Yes.”

Your sarcasm could’ve gone without, but it wasn’t like you were about to stay bed ridden because you fainted. Sometimes the body could get overheated, and if you ignore it long enough it gives out on itself. That’s what happened to you, and you’d just make sure to take it somewhat easier in the coming days. The flu could correct itself. But, Negan wasn’t satisfied with that and he picked up Lucille and walked over to your doors before speaking.

“I’ll tell you what, Darlin’. Being as that I’m a very reasonable man, see our fucking doctor, and I just may let you go out and collect for me.”

Your eyes widened at his offer, and you had to wonder if there was more to it than that because he wasn’t the type to do something without his own benefit being met. And yet, you couldn’t quite understand what he could possibly get out of this barter. But, if this got you out and about then you could appease him this one time.

“Ok.”

******************************************************************************

Days would go by, and you would find yourself constantly getting annoyed with just sitting around your room doing nothing. Everyone was treating you like you were on some quarantine, and the old woman who was bringing you food was shit company. Not to mention the fact that she wore a mask every time she got near you, as if that wasn’t insulting enough. But, the days slowed to a crawl, and it was beginning to become unbearable for you and even though you felt somewhat better the rest you had still wasn’t enough. You knew deep down this was more than allergies, or even a basic flu, and if you had learned anything when it came to human or animal bodies is that this was an infection and nothing short of antibiotics was going to make it leave. Telling Negan that though would make him keep you here longer and you could always just ask Dr. Carson for some meds in secret when you go to Hilltop to collect, which was the deal Negan had made with you.

The doors to your room opened, and you looked up from your spot on the bed to see Negan sauntering in, mouth set in a frown when he saw you. You had a book in your hands, and you closed it gently when he came up to you.

“You still look like shit.”

You rolled your eyes at his such charming nature, and you swung your legs over the edge of the bed as you made to get up. “How kind of you.” You walked across the living area, reaching for your hair band and picking your hair up into a ponytail. The aches in your body were a bit to deal with, but you played it off around Negan or else he’d probably force you back into bed and make you wear some hazmat suit or something. You had to entertain the idea that the man was some kind of germaphobe with the way he’s been treating you.

“To the woman I love, I hope you find this gift…”

When you heard Negan speaking you turned around in a panic, and ran up to him, reaching for your book that was clutched in his hands as he read off the note inscribed in it. “Give that back!”

He held it up over his head, knowing fully well you wouldn’t be able to reach it since he was much taller than you. The smirk on his face grew when you had to tip toe to try and get it from him.

“What kind of pussy wrote that note? You got some secret admirer I don’t know about? Don’t go making me jealous, sweetheart.”

His voice was filled with amusement, and you frowned deeply at him as you jumped up to grab the book from his hands. Thankfully, he was bored enough with this game to let it go and dropped it back onto the bed, and you quickly reached for it. You were only lucky he didn’t read the rest of the note, because Rick’s name was scrawled on the bottom of it and he had put some intimate details in it. Rick had given it to you on your birthday one year, it was a copy of the Hobbit, one of your favorite books and you had once mentioned it to him. Somewhere along the lines he had managed to find a copy in a burnt down bookstore and you remembered how happy it made you.

“It’s none of your business.”

Negan scoffed at you, his arm coming up to rest on the bedpost as he eyed you with amusement. “Oh come on, darlin’. You fucking someone around here I should know about? Just tell me his name.”

You could tell he was getting a little annoyed with every other word, and no doubt he was becoming slightly jealous of the fact that there could possibly be another man in your life. As much fun as it would be to make him suffer like he did you on occasions you chose not to poke that bear.

“No. It’s an old book…nothing important anymore.”

“What? Did the prick leave you behind? Or did he…”

You watched as Negan lifted a hand to his neck, his finger slicing over his throat as he mimicked the possibility of death. You gritted your teeth at his insensitivity, holding the book closer as you looked up at him with a solemn look. When he saw your saddened expression, he backed off, his smirk leaving his lips instantly.

“Dead, huh?”

It was just a simple nod that you offered him, and he sighed as he looked away and if you weren’t paying attention you would’ve missed the way his eyes darted down to Lucille. You weren’t sure what to make of that, but you didn’t ask about it, because you were too busy thinking about Rick right now. Whatever the case, you were beyond grateful when Negan changed the subject.

“You feeling better?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Leave for Hilltop tomorrow.”

His features were no longer set into an expression of amusement, and you could tell something was bothering him, but all he did was turn on his heel and reach for his bat as he headed to your doors.

“Sweetheart.”

Your eyes met his, and you waited for him to continue before saying anything of your own.

“No fuck ups.”

A smile found its way to your lips, and you nodded over at him as you responded.

“No fuck ups.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it has been a while, and I apologize, but been busy with work and being married! woo! This chapter isn't much, it's a filler, and sorry I don't have much else for now lol but as always, fillers are needed! I also didnt proofread.....I wanted to get it out to you guys lol

The courtyard was rather silent for the time of day; usually there'd be a number of saviors readying themselves for a run or collection. However, Negan had held up on doing anymore than necessary since winter wasn't proving to be kind this time around. But, you were thankful you were getting the chance to head out again. A deal was a deal after all, and Negan proved to be a man of his word. 

 

You threw your bag inside the truck, slamming the passenger door shut as you turned to walk around the front. Negan was watching you carefully as you went to the driver's side, and you could tell he was tempted to go along with you. Whether that was due to his own natural concern, or simply because he didn't trust you, you couldn't tell. Either way, he was needed here and he wouldn't be tagging along with you. This was your run to accomplish on your own. 

 

"If any of them don't fucking cooperate, kill one of them."

 

Right, because that was an easy task to accomplish, you thought. You looked over your shoulder at Negan, giving him a look that said you weren't going to do that. He didn't argue with you though, and he simply grabbed the handle of your door and held it open for you. He waved his hand towards the seat in a mock form of chivalry, and you rolled your eyes at him for the act.

 

"Sure. Why don't I burn their crops while I'm at it?"

 

"Only if one of them gets out of line, sweetheart."

 

"Ugh."

 

You could see the smirk forming on his face, and you took your seat in the truck and closed your door on him. How he managed to make you feel the things you were feeling was beyond you. The man was ridiculous sometimes.

 

Negan slammed his hand on the window, capturing your attention. You rolled it down slowly, lifting your eyebrows in question at him.

 

"No fuck-"

 

"Fuck ups. I know, Negan."

 

If he was bothered by your attitude, he didn't show it. He just gestured to the men atop the gates to open up so you could head out. You shot him one last look, saluting him as you drove out the gates.

 

 

* * *

 

The road trip was rather uneventful, and the surrounding area was hardly anything worth looking at. The trees were dried and dead, the gravel road barely visible under the snow and ice. It was getting old real quick, and if it wasn't for the fact that you couldn't risk speeding right now, you would've already been halfway to Hilltop. 

 

A sigh left your lips, eyes staring straight ahead at the road as you traveled along. You wondered if Hilltop had any idea that you were coming; because they always looked surprised to see the Saviors anywhere near them. It was hard to understand how they always acted shocked, because by now they should've been used to the unannounced visits. However, they had it easier this time around. Negan wouldn't be here to cause a panic, and his many unruly men wouldn't be around to back him up. It was just you, and you were sure Jesus would be happy to see you even if it meant taking half his stuff.

 

The gates of Hilltop came into view, and you placed your water bottle aside as you turned into them, ducking a bit to look under the windshield at the top of the gates. A man and woman stood on top of them, eyeing you cautiously as you waved. With a roll of your window you poked your head out, calling out to the two.

 

"Hey. I'm here to-"

 

"Saviors, right? Why am I not shocked?"

 

The woman rolled her eyes at you, gripping her gun tighter into her chest as she told some men down below to open the gates. 

 

"I don't know about savior..." You spoke to yourself, not really enjoying the way that sounded coming off her tongue. Being lumped together with Negan's men didn't feel right, and with every second you felt like you were getting your hands even dirtier. It's not like you wanted to do this, but you didn't have much choice. But, you'd do everything you could to make sure they had their fair share of supplies left. 

 

You drove into the clearing, putting the truck in park as you undid your belt and exited the vehicle. The colony didn’t look any better the sanctuary right now, the one large home that stood amongst all the mobile units was covered in snow, but you could see smoke rising from the chimney. No doubt Gregory was taking all the comforts he had and sharing them with no one.

 

“We’ll let Gregory know you’re here.”

 

“Wait.”

 

The older looking woman turned back to you; frown on her face as you addressed her. She clearly was in no mood for you today, and you really couldn’t blame her.

 

“Is Jesus here?”

 

She seemed unimpressed with your inquiry, but she waved for you to follow her anyway. You entered the large home, memories of your brief time here coming back to you. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t miss it. The atmosphere around here felt lighter than back at the sanctuary. Maybe it was the company you kept here. You rounded the hallway, and then she left you to move up the steps by yourself.

 

“Thanks.”

 

You called out, gripping the railing as you went up towards Jesus’ room. It had been a while since you saw him, and you were beginning to miss his company.

 

“Y/N?”

 

His voice flowed through the hall, and you glanced up to see him standing just outside his bedroom door. A smile instantly came to his face, and he walked up to you quickly, arms already extending out to you for a hug. You happily accepted his greeting, letting his body collide with your own in a warm embrace.

 

“It’s been quite a while, huh?”

He laughed, and pulled away from you, nodding his head in confirmation at your question.

 

“Sure feels like it. What brings you to Hilltop?”

 

Here comes the awkward part, because if he hadn’t guessed it by now you were sure going to have to spell it out for him. You bit your lip in guilt, not wanting to look your friend in the eye when you explained to him the reasons behind your little visit.

 

“Don’t hate me.”

 

Jesus opened his mouth in realization, a breath leaving him as he ended up just smiling at you. He patted your shoulder in comfort, not wanting you to feel bad about anything.

 

“Should’ve guessed it. Are you alone?”

 

“Negan thought it’d be better if I came alone. Less people to lose in case something goes wrong.”

 

“How kind of him…”

 

Jesus looked mildly concerned, but he didn’t continue the subject he just looked over the railing and yelled down to the other colonists to start packing up the truck you brought.

 

“They’ll be a while, we didn’t expect Negan to want supplies so soon, so we’ll have to gather and sort through things.”

 

“Take your time.”

 

You smiled up at him, clasping your hands together and placing them on the banister. It was just nice to be away from ‘home’ for a bit, like a nice big breath of fresh air. Having been sick, or rather still being sick, you were going stir crazy sitting in your room all day. You glanced over at Jesus, smiling at him when he caught your eye.

 

“So how have things been here?”

 

The bearded man sighed, turning his hands out as he thought over his words.

 

“Can’t complain, I guess. Could be worse, ya know?”

 

With a nod you agreed with him, knowing that he was completely right about that. Things could always be much worse, and with this weather and the dead trying to eat you, life could become difficult very quick.

 

“You hungry?”

 

Jesus laid his hand upon your shoulder, tugging softly to get your attention and lead you into his room. He had some food laid out on the table, nothing fancy, but enough to get by. He pulled out a seat for you, and you gratefully took it, even if your appetite was non-existent. He grabbed a paper plate from the counter, starting to load it up with some potatoes and carrots, but you waved your hand.

“I’m actually ok, Jesus. If you don’t mind, I’ll just rest for a bit.”

 

“You alright? No offense, but you don’t look so good.”

 

He wasn’t wrong, and you could feel the familiar clamminess of your skin from fever start to form again. This illness was becoming ridiculous, and if you could find Dr. Carson, maybe you’d finally start making some progress.

 

“Just a slight cold, nothing dramatic.” It was a lie, but Jesus didn’t need to start coddling you right now. He simply gave you a look that said he didn’t truly believe you, but he didn’t argue, and he leaned back against his seat as he took a bite of food.

 

“So, how’s the sanctuary?”

 

“It’s….” You thought over your words, different feelings building up as you began to think back on the place you called home. It truly wasn’t all that bad, and you could even consider some of them your friends, but still…there was always something that felt off. “It’s home.”

 

“Convincing.”

 

A laugh was all you could muster, and you tapped your fingers against the table as he stared silently at you. You had to guess that he already knew what you were thinking, because he was patting your restless hand gently with his own.

 

“Don’t feel bad about it, I know it isn’t your choice.”

 

Like that made anything better, you knew you were taking their livelihood from them. Even if it helped the sanctuary, Hilltop wasn’t really getting a good end of this bargain. With a sigh, you ran your hand through your hair.

 

“Then what am I doing?”

 

“Surviving.”

 

Your eyes met his, and you pondered over his words. Surviving. If that’s what this was, then maybe it wasn’t worth it. Just then, the door slid open, another Hilltop member entering the room and smiling at you both.

“Trucks ready.”

Jesus thanked them, and got up from his chair, holding his hand out to you and aiding you up. You both walked out into the hall, not really talking as you made the journey to the truck outside.

“Hey, Jesus. Is Dr. Carson around by any chance?”

“He’s here, but he’s looking at one of the children right now.”

Just your luck, you thought. But, you didn’t want to get in the way of another person’s health, much less a child. Looks like you’d have to wait this illness out, or maybe suck it up and see the doctor at the Sanctuary. Either way, you just needed to get back now, and you could consider this collection a success. As soon as you walked back out, the cold wind bit at your face, making you shiver in discomfort. The truck you came in was just being closed, and you could tell there were a number of items filling the back of it. You turned to Jesus, thanking him for the help, and pulling him into a hug as you said goodbye to your friend.

“See you around.”

He nodded at you, giving you a kind smile as he opened your truck door and helped you inside. “See you around.”

 

* * *

 

The road was hidden beneath a layer of snow, and black ice, and if it wasn’t for the map in your hand you were sure you would’ve been lost to this world pretty soon. Your eyes drifted from the road, and the map, trying to decipher what each line meant and how far your journey could possibly be. You hadn’t taken the same way back this time, because when you tried heading that way again the road was now impossible to navigate. The snow storm was heading south, and if you could just beat it by a little you’d make it out alright. The fact that you had a slight fever was not helping the situation, and even though you knew it was a dumb decision, you opted to speed up just a tad. Thank god for four wheel drive. It was just imperative that you get back within a decent amount of time, Negan was trusting you with this, and you didn’t want to disappoint him. As odd as that sounded to you, you just couldn’t stand the idea of ruining your one chance of being in his complete good graces. His trust meant more than his obvious attraction to you, and you weren’t planning on losing the chance.

As your eyes scaled down to the map in your hand, you felt the same sensations of nausea you felt when Negan had caught you. But, now was not the time, and you shook your head frantically to make the feeling go away. You blinked your eyes desperately, glaring down at the lines that ran across the paper in an attempt to focus. But, all you felt was a heated substance drip from your nose, and you watched as a drop of red fell onto the map and slid down the glossy surface, staining it.

“No no no….” You gripped the wheel tighter, gritting your teeth as you willed away the pain, and dizziness. But, the blood wouldn’t stop flowing, and you bunched up your scarf and held it tightly to your face as you let it soak up the mess. No matter what you did though, the wave of disorientation that hit you was too much to take, and your grip on the steering wheel started to weaken. It was like the very world around you was shrinking, and all you could focus on was the sound of your blood pumping in your ears, and the sound of wheels screeching against the ice on the road. You felt something hard hit the truck, and suddenly gravity took over and your body bent forward in your seat. The safety belt crushed against your abdomen, making you gasp out. The truck landed roughly upside down, coming to a halt against a large tree on the side of the road. You hung lifelessly in your seat, blood drying up against your skin as new wounds began to open. And the last thing you heard was the blaring of your broken car horn as you drifted off into darkness.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know. It has been a while. For a number of reasons, one being I lost all my story notes when my phone broke :( so I have to start from scratch with my memory on how I wanted the story to advance. And, because without the walking dead on, I lost some Negan inspiration lol But, as always enjoy, sorry it isn't very Negan centric in this chapter, next will be.

Numb. That’s all you were able to feel, from your head all the way down to your feet. The pain had grown to a point where it wasn’t even felt anymore, and your nerve endings were completely shot. It took all your willpower to even open your eyes, and even then all you could see was the gravel of the road before you, and the effects of the spider webbed windshield making you dizzy. How long had you been here? Where even were you? The last thing you could properly recall was blood dripping down a map, and the rest of it was fuzzy. You groaned softly, shakily bringing a hand up and to your forehead where you could feel the stickiness of your blood. You looked around the broken vehicle, the roof of it barely crushed inches from your head, and you could count yourself lucky for that at least. The safety belt was still firmly snug around your injured form, and you wiggled around trying to free yourself from it. One thing was certain, you could not stay here. The horn still blaring was enough to wake the dead all over again, and any minute now you were sure some corpse would come walking from the woods and straight into you.

“Ah!”

It was a pathetic scream, but it took everything in you not to cry from the stabbing pain that shot through you as you tried unbuckling the belt. Your body was hanging still, and you could feel the blood rushing to your head and making you feel dizzy. Any minute now and you’d probably knock out again from that alone. You waved around uselessly, fingertips sliding against the glass of the driver side window, and leaving a smear of blood on it. There had to be something to help you.

“Come on.”

It was more of a curse to the gods, because how in the hell could this happen to you right now, of all times. In the back of your mind you were still thinking about what Negan would think, and how your promise of no fuck ups was null and void by this point.

Just then, you heard the sound of rocks crunching under a boot, and you swung your head towards the front of your truck, barely making out the shape of something out there. Only one of the headlights was working, and you could see something blocking the rays every now and then. This was not good, and if you stayed here another second whatever, or whoever that was, was going to kill you.

You fumbled around, gritting your teeth at the pain as you bent as much as you could, reaching for the knife in your boot. Once you managed to grab it you started cutting at the belt, every now and then looking back up to make sure no one was close to you. Your body fell hard into the roof of the truck, and you gasped as the air was knocked out of you, but lying in pain was not a wise choice right now. You crawled into the back of the truck, tool boxes, and bags flung all over the place, and you pushed and grabbed at anything in your way. You lied behind the seat for a second, catching your breath as you searched around the truck for your bag, and when you finally managed to spot in up front, the sound of someone walking grew much closer. You froze, and if it was possible, you’d stop your heart from beating too because the fear had made it sound so loud within your chest. You watched from outside the window, and even with all the darkness outside, whoever it was had a flashlight handy, and you knew then that they would find you. In your condition, you had no power left to fight much, but you would try…if anything.

A pair of boots stopped just at the driver window, and from your point of view they looked fairly clean, and the ray of the flashlight shined bright into the truck. From behind the seat, whoever it was couldn’t quite see you yet, so you took that chance to observe.

“Hello? Anyone in there?”

It was a voice you didn’t recognize, and that just made it completely worse. People were dangerous, strangers were the worse. You gulped, breath coming out in pants, but you tried everything to remain silent as the man poked around. You heard what sounded like metal scraping against the floor, and just when you thought he was leaving a loud smash resounded in the truck. The window was shattered in the front, and you flinched and curled yourself up at the sound. The light waved around the truck, and you saw a man kneel down and look around, but you couldn’t make out much of his features. But, then the light fell on you, cowering pathetically in the corner.

“Oh my god…a-are you alright?”

It was a strange thing to hear, because you were positive the next step was going to be the sound of a gunshot as the man killed you. But, his voice actually sounded slightly concerned, and you slowly, but cautiously, lowered your hands from your face. You didn’t say anything though, and you just stared at him, trying to make out his face from behind his bright light.

“Hey, hey it’s gonna be ok, alright? I’ll help you out of here…”

He ducked under the broken glass, carrying his flashlight in one hand as he extended his other towards you. You looked over at it, debating whether this was a wise choice, but right now…it’s not like you really had one. If he wanted to kill you and take everything you had, well, he had his chance already. It took a minute, but you scooted forward, not really in the condition to walk out. He grabbed your forearm, pulling you as gently as possible as he helped you out of the wreck. The fresh air felt nice against your heated skin, and with your illness and now new injuries, you wanted to lay there forever. But, he wrapped an arm around your waist, hoisting you up and let you lean against him as he walked you to a nearby tree.

“Ok, nice and easy.” He helped you slide down against it, being mindful of your injuries as he did so. You looked up at him, licking your lips and whispering a very weak thank you in return.

“Don’t mention it…”

“M-My bad…please. It’s in there somewhere…”

He looked at you curiously, but ultimately decided to gather your things for you. “What’s it look like?”

“Brown, straps on front…there’s a patch on the front pocket, of a dog…”

He nodded, and hurried back to the car. As you waited, you contemplated running, even if it wouldn’t get you far. But, you couldn’t leave your stuff behind, it was far too important, and even if you did manage to get yourself up, he could still easily catch up to you.

“Got it.”

You watched as he flung your bag over his shoulder, and he came back to help you up again. You both walked for a few minutes, and in the near distance you could see a fire going, no doubt his base camp.

“Who are you?”

You asked, staring over at him as he pulled you along, clutching your hand over his shoulder. He glanced over at you, a smile forming on his lips as he spoke.

“Aaron, and you?”

You hesitated for a moment, but it’s not like he could do much by just knowing your name. “Y/N.”

He nodded as if he was trying to decided whether he liked your name or not, but he just smiled again. He set you down against a log, placing your bag next to you as he went and tended to the fire.

“Don’t move. You’re pretty badly injured, let me bandage them for you.”

He reached for another bag off to the side, and you carefully watched him as he pulled some alcohol, and bandages out. Aaron seemed pretty well prepared for these times, and you had to wonder how a man could possibly be so…clean. He had to have been out here for a while now, yet he looked freshly groomed and washed. He walked over to you, sitting on the log as he moved to lift your shit.

“Would you mind?”

You shook your head, and leaned back and lifted your shirt in your dirty hands. The sting of the alcohol made you stiffen, and you bit your lip to stop from crying out.

“Sorry, best I got.” He laughed, his hand swiping at the dried up blood on your waist. He carefully bandaged over the area, looking you over and dabbing at other small wounds.

“Thankfully, most of these are better than they look.”

He stated, throwing the used cotton balls to the side. Once he was done, he packed up all his supplies, except this time he fished out some pills and handed them to you.

“They’re generic, but they’re better than nothing.”

He handed you some antibiotics, and you gratefully took them, because this is what you originally needed. Although, this would’ve come in handy weeks ago. How were you going to explain to Negan that you managed not only to wreck a fine vehicle, but also lose his supplies…? If you weren’t going to die now, you would sure be soon.

“What happened?”

Aaron’s voice caught your attention, and you looked up from your thoughts to see him staring over at you. You sighed, and looked back into the woods in the direction of the car wreck.

“I…fucked up.” It wasn’t the best explanation, but it was definitely the truth. Aaron didn’t press for details, he just nodded as if he somehow understood.

“I was out here, scouting, when I heard the crash happen. Took me an hour to find you though. I thought you had somehow managed to get out by the time I got there. Surprised even more to find you alive. You’re lucky.”

All you could do was scoff at his last statement. Luck could only last you so long, especially when a certain leader got a hold of you.

“Thanks for the help.”

He waved you off, offering a smile, and a bottle of water your way. “No need.”

You took it quickly, taking a huge gulp and enjoying the way it eased the dryness of your throat. But, there were still some questions in the back of your mind, and you crushed the bottle in your hand and looked over at your savior.

“Where are you from? Your boots…hell, your clothing…it all looks new.”

Aaron laughed at your words, and he grabbed his jacket to look down at it. “This? Well, not so much new…but, it gets washed pretty often if that’s what you mean. Anyway, I’m from a place called Alexandria. We’re a group of survivors, some of us more than others, but a family none the less.”

Alexandria? That was not a place you had heard of, and even going through all the inventory lists, that name never popped up on Negan’s books. It dawned on you then, that none of the Saviors were even aware of the group, and judging by Aaron’s appearance, Negan would love to know what their situation was like, and what supplies they would have for him. But, knowing Aaron’s people were free of Negan’s tyranny was also a comforting notion, and you weren’t sure you had it in you to reveal them.

“How many?”

Aaron looked at you with slight suspicion, but he still answered you none the less. “More than enough…What about you?”

“I’m with a small group of people….could be better though.”

Not a lie, but not the truth, and even if you weren’t completely prepared to sell Alexandria out to Negan, you weren’t prepared to hurt your group either. He looked at you sympathetically, and he began to fumble around his bag until he managed to pull a photograph from it.

“Here…this is us.”

You looked at it, wondering if you should take it from him, and just as you began to reach forward to grab the photo, a shot rang out through the forest. The bullet hit a tree near you both, and Aaron instinctively ducked behind the log. You somehow managed to do the same, except the next bullet grazed your calf as you crawled away. You screamed at the burning pain, and clutched at your leg to try and rid yourself of it. You looked over at Aaron in shock, and when you had begun to think it was his group coming to kill you, a familiar voice spoke.

“Well, kiss my fucking grits, I think we found her.”

Simon’s voice hit your ears, and you could tell he was still a decent distance away from you both. But, Aaron managed to crawl over to you, and he placed an arm protectively around you.

“We gotta go! I know you can’t walk but, we should head back to Alexandria…you’ll be safe-“

The sound of more bullets flying above you stopped him midsentence, and you closed your eyes as you decided then what to do.

“Aaron, listen to me. Get out of here…this group…my group, they’re not very friendly with strangers. They won’t hurt me, but they will kill you.”

He looked at you oddly, as if in disbelief, and you could tell he didn’t want to leave you behind.

“Y/N, are you crazy I can’t-“

“Go! If you don’t leave now, you’ll die. Think of the people back at Alexandria, if you don’t go now, I guarantee that they’ll be hurt too.”

You knew Negan wouldn’t kill every last one of them, but you had no doubt a couple of poor soul’s wouldn’t escape his punishment. Aaron stared at you, and you could see the internal struggle he was currently going through, but he nodded frantically, and you threw the empty water bottle off to the side as a distraction. Bullets immediately started up again, except the bottle offered an opening to Aaron, and he took it. He grabbed his bag, and eyed the photo for a second before picking it up too. He gave you one last look, and you just nodded at him as if you were saying it was ok, and then he ran off into the darkness of the woods.

The sound of rushed footsteps grew louder, and you sank back into the earth as you tried not to give in to the many pains you had. Aaron had left your bag behind thankfully, and he managed to shove the pills into the pocket of it which you would forever be grateful for.

“Where the fuck is she?!”

Negan’s voice pierced your ears, and you could hear the building rage behind it. And you knew then what you had to do, because it was no longer your ass on the line, but a whole other group of people you had never met. You could hear Simon talking, and all you could make out was ‘over there’ and something about men going into the woods to look for someone. You just hoped they wouldn’t happen upon Aaron.

The familiar sight of black boots came into view, and you tilted your head to the side to see them right next to your face.

“Fucking hell, sweetheart.”

Negan kneeled down, his gloved hand coming up to wipe at your cheek, he rubbed your blood between his fingers, and you were suddenly at a loss for words. His arm pushed under your body, and you groaned as he began to lift you up and into his arms. He kept kneeled for a second, eyeing you warily.

“What the fuck happened?”

You didn’t speak, mainly because you were trying hard not to fall asleep, but also because you were currently spinning a web of excuses in your mind. With a shake of your head, you just held a hand up, placing it against his leather jacket. He looked down at it, and the look in his eyes changed for a split second from anger to worry. He clutched your hand in his own, dark eyes trailing over your face and down your injured body.

“Who did this?”

And you made up your mind then, on what perfect lie could help you out of this.

“Claimers.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been forever....I know.....dear lord forgive me but inspiration has just been terrible to come by.....I got no other excuse to make lol

The sound of voices around you sounded slurred and distant in your muddled state, and all you could do was sink back into the strong arms that carried you off. Your head was pounding, and the wound from being grazed by a bullet was stinging wildly. One day, that’s all you asked, one day to relax and not be in harm’s way. You regretted all those times you ached to be back out here, yet somehow you still weren’t all too willing to go with the saviors. Perhaps it was the day’s events, but you just wanted to be alone. Yet, the comforting warmth of the man carrying you was making you forget everything.

“Sir, do you want-“

“I don’t give a fuck what you do, just look around for the pricks that caused all this goddamn mess.”

The savior nervously nodded at Negan, grabbing his gun and taking a few others with him as he ran off into the thick forest. Negan sighed heavily, cradling your limp body in his arms as he walked to the truck. He ordered Simon and his men to salvage what they could from the supplies riddled across the highway, and he opened the passenger side door to his vehicle. Betraying his usual brash demeanor, he gently placed you on the seat, going so far as buckling you in for safety. You groaned deeply at the pain, eyes screwed shut as you tried to will away your headache.

“Negan…”

The leader of the savior’s glanced at you, scowling at the current situation and mainly your injured state.

“Don’t worry your pretty little self, darlin’. I’ll fucking bash the mother fuckers heads in when we find them.”

The pit of your stomach felt heavy with guilt, and you had to wonder why you’d lie and protect a complete stranger like that. Yet, you were sure if Negan had gotten his hands on Aaron, he’d be a dead man. You simply nodded at him, staying quiet as he closed the door and got back into his seat. He started the truck, waving a hand at Simon as he did a quick U turn and headed straight for the sanctuary.

The movements of the truck made you shift around in your seat, and you fought hard not to give in to your exhausted body. But, you were growing far too tired, and the soft vibrations of the engine were slowly lulling you to sleep. The wheels drove over a pothole, making you fall over, your head softly landing on Negan’s shoulder.

“Hey…” His deep voice fell on deaf ears as you succumbed to the exhaustion you felt. Negan scoffed, gripping the steering wheel tightly as you slept silently next to him, your hair fell over your face, and all he could hear was your soft breathing.

********

“Sweetheart…get the fuck up already.”

You whined softly as someone nudged at your shoulder, and you opened your eyes slowly to see Negan standing next to you outside of the truck. The sound of his men talking behind him made you fully sit up, and you struggled to hold yourself with your arm as you moved to get out of the vehicle. He grabbed your arm, pulling you out of the truck himself when you clearly weren’t able to yourself.

“Come on, Darlin’.”

“Okay…” You grumbled, slightly frustrated with Negan’s persistence. He dragged you along, shouting orders to some of his men along the way. Something wasn’t quite right with him, and he wasn’t even scolding you like you had expected. Sure, you lied about the circumstances of the wreck, and loss of supplies, but you still expected some form of punishment for fucking up even after promising not to.

The doors to the sanctuary opened, and he turned the hallway pulling you up and along the stairs. You tried pulling yourself away from him but his grip was tight.

“Negan, what are you-“

“You’re barely fucking walking on your own, sweetheart. You got fucking blood dripping down your leg, and your face looks like goddamn Lucille got a hold of it. So tell me again how you can fucking do this on your own?”

His tone made you go silent, and you had to wonder if he was actually…but, there couldn’t possibly be anyway he was worried about you. For some reason, the thought of him actually rushing out in the middle of the night to even find you was heartwarming. Had he sat there for hours wondering where you were? Was he adamant that he and his men go find you? You glanced up at him, a soft blush on your face as you continued to analyze this entire situation. Things between you both had been more than confusing lately, and you struggled with trying to define your feelings for the man. He was everything you thought you hated in this world, but now, now there seemed to be somewhat different side to him that you never thought possible.

Negan opened the doors to your bedroom, helping you sit on the couch as he scowled down at you. “You’re developing a habit of disappointing me.”

“It’s not like I flipped the truck on purpose.”

Perhaps you let off a bit more attitude than necessary, but between your illness, and your current injuries you just didn’t have the energy to deal with him being angry. Negan just clicked his tongue at you, resting Lucille on the side of the table as he fished through his jacket pockets. He pulled out an orange bottle, the sound of pills clacking around making you look up at him.

“Antibiotics?...” You opened your mouth, staring in slight shock. “Where did you…”

“Does it fucking matter? You thought you could hide how goddamn shitty you were feeling, sweetheart? You were missing for hours, took a ride to fucking Hilltop, and found out you left, and considering the time of day, you should’ve been back already. Then…” He took a seat on the coffee table, leaning for towards you as he clasped his gloved hands together. “Then I fucking find out you took a different route to get here. Took us 5 hours to find your sorry ass!” With every word his tone grew louder, and you shrank back instinctively into the couch.

“Sorry…”

“You’re fucking sorry?!”

Negan chuckled at that, rubbing his beard as he sighed deeply. “You know you got one hell of a set of balls, sweetheart. Lying to me about the goddamn extent of your illness, taking one of my trucks out there, and then wrecking the holy hell outta it.”

“I already told you-“

“Quiet.”

He threw the bottle of pills into your lap, glaring at you from his seat. That flattered feeling you had before was completely gone by now, and you couldn’t help but be angry with him. Lie or not, it really wasn’t completely your fault. It’s not like you planned to faint, and crash a vehicle full of life saving supplies. What happened to the man who seemed worried not so long ago? Was he only concerned for the items he lost? You gripped the bottle in your hands, biting your lip and looking down at your lap as he continued to scold you like a child.

“You’re not leaving this fucking room. You wanna throw more of your fine ass speeches about trust to me, be my fucking guest, Darlin’. But, you bet your sweet ass you’re not getting out of here.”

He rose from his spot on the table, scoffing down at you as he started to walk away. You never looked back at him, but you still spoke your mind even though your instincts told you not to.

“Just when I started to like you, you go and be a dick like you always are.”

It came out rather scathing, but you didn’t care. It was the truth after all. Every time you thought there was another side to him, he changes that completely.

Negan stopped dead in his tracks, his boots scraping against the floor of your bedroom. He laughed a bit at your nerve, but you could tell he was going through a frustration of his own. “You really love to piss me off, don’t you?”

You groaned as you got off the couch, holding your side as you limped over to Lucille that had still been resting against the table. It was so unlike him to ever leave his precious bat behind, but that only furthered your theory that something was off with him. You grabbed Lucille by her end, struggling to life the heavy bat in your current state.

“Aren’t you forgetting something?”

You lifted his bat towards him, frowning at him as he turned to glare at you. Negan slowly stalked towards you, dark eyes never leaving your defiant gaze. He reached a gloved hand out, grabbing Lucille from your weak grip. You just squinted your eyes up at him, not wanting to back down from the man who constantly gave you headaches. You moved to turn, heading back to the couch to rest but a strong grasp on your arm stopped you. Negan turned you quickly towards him, his arm wrapping possessively around your waist as he leaned down and captured your lips in a hard kiss.

Your eyes widened, and it was as if your heart had suddenly stopped beating. Your mind couldn’t even began to comprehend what he was doing, and your hands were raised up, barely brushing the leather of his jacket. His lips were warm against your own, and if it wasn’t for the confusion and anger you felt, you might’ve actually melted into the kiss, instead you stood motionless not responding at all to his touch. When your senses came back to you, you pushed him off and took a step back staring at Negan in complete disbelief.


End file.
